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Topic: My husband never figured out living in the US  (Read 7818 times)

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Re: My husband never figured out living in the US
« Reply #15 on: March 25, 2019, 03:55:50 PM »
If Brexit goes badly, or there's another serious recession on the horizon (globally, which is what I'm starting to see warnings for in various reputable publications)

Look at the 19 countries who use the Euro and what is happening to the 3 top economies using the Euro: Germany, France and Italy.
.

Germany narrowing missed a recession recently and France are still struggling.
Now we see that Germany has just sunk deeper into contraction.
https://www.bloomberg.com/news/articles/2019-03-22/german-manufacturing-sinks-deeper-into-contraction-in-march
That's before their fallout from Brexit and any new US tariffs hit: the UK and US are one and two of the export market for German car makers.
And lets not forget that the Euro is based on Germany.


Italy is already in a recession, again
https://www.businessinsider.com/italy-economy-officially-in-recession-data-shows-02-contraction-2019-1?r=US&IR=T



You can look at the chart here to see how many of the 28 EU countries rely on money from Germany, UK, France and Italy to fund them. http://www.spiegel.de/international/europe/brexit-to-cost-european-union-billions-a-1111724.html



The Republic of Ireland has already asked for emergency funding. They are also under pressure from Germany and France to lose their low corporation tax rate that the RoI now relies on, with the EU (France and Germany) planned CCCTB and the end of their veto.
https://www.independent.ie/business/brexit/emergency-eu-aid-to-be-sought-for-brexit-fallout-37676966.html

http://www.irisheconomy.ie/index.php/2017/09/13/ccctb-bye-bye-irish-veto/

https://www.reuters.com/article/us-germany-france-tax-harmonisation/germany-france-agree-on-harmonization-of-corporate-tax-systems-idUSKBN1JG1RB
 


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Re: My husband never figured out living in the US
« Reply #16 on: March 25, 2019, 04:08:13 PM »
 Thank you Sirius.
To be clear, we are still in the planning and preparing stages and haven’t even decided whether we are going to move or not. We will likely not make that decision until we have all of our credit card debt paid off which is going to take 20 to 30 months, depending on income. I also told my husband I will not move without a years’ living expenses in the bank. I am not as worried about how things will go financially as I am about what is best for our family. I have a child with Aspergers and another who is speech delayed. All three are exceptionally bright (not a brag, just a statement of fact and a legit concern because neither of us were in schools as children with a challenging enough curriculum).
All this to say, who knows what will be going on in 2021, which is the earliest we’d be making a start?
4 December 2005--Met in ATL, Moved in together
July 2006--First visit to the UK, met his Mum
Feb 2007--Eloped and told everyone we were engaged ;)
May 2007--Wedding, Part 1 in Pine Mountain, GA;
Sept 2007--Wedding, Part 2 in Scarborough, UK
Nov ‘08–1st Child
May ‘10–2nd Child
June 2013--Decided to move to the UK!
July 2013-Jan 2016–family tragedies. Delayed move
April ‘15–3rd Child
2019...planning again
January 2022–applying for visa!
Goal: Get Eldest in UK school by year 9!
Hopefully moving to Malvern June 2022


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Re: My husband never figured out living in the US
« Reply #17 on: March 25, 2019, 04:17:48 PM »
Just go with your heart. Life is all about taking risks.

BTW, Scarborough is a jewel in the crown of England.


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Re: My husband never figured out living in the US
« Reply #18 on: March 25, 2019, 05:21:01 PM »
Just go with your heart. Life is all about taking risks.

BTW, Scarborough is a jewel in the crown of England.

I love Scarborough so much. We have an Aunt there and always make it a point to spend a whole day at least when we visit.
4 December 2005--Met in ATL, Moved in together
July 2006--First visit to the UK, met his Mum
Feb 2007--Eloped and told everyone we were engaged ;)
May 2007--Wedding, Part 1 in Pine Mountain, GA;
Sept 2007--Wedding, Part 2 in Scarborough, UK
Nov ‘08–1st Child
May ‘10–2nd Child
June 2013--Decided to move to the UK!
July 2013-Jan 2016–family tragedies. Delayed move
April ‘15–3rd Child
2019...planning again
January 2022–applying for visa!
Goal: Get Eldest in UK school by year 9!
Hopefully moving to Malvern June 2022


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Re: My husband never figured out living in the US
« Reply #19 on: August 09, 2019, 04:21:13 PM »
Your husband sounds a little like mine. He's tried to make friends here in the States, but we've only ever met one couple that really seemed to understand him/us, and that was probably because they were from Canada, lol! He feels like he gets overlooked for promotions at work because he's a 'foreigner', though admittedly, he's the right shade of pale for this part of the country.

I'm the one that wants to move back to the UK though--despite the fact that he's pretty alone here (apart from me and the kids), he's more worried about having to sell up and restart somewhere else. He's 47, I'm 42. I think we're still young enough, but we couldn't possibly do anything for another 3-4 years because finances and kids in school make it tricky.


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Re: My husband never figured out living in the US
« Reply #20 on: August 12, 2019, 01:08:34 PM »
Yes! It would be 3-4 years for us as well. We’re 40. It would be a significant pay cut too because he makes a stupid amount of money here. But we do have enough equity in our house to put down a good downpayment there. So there’s that.  We’d have to be debt free with $40K in savings.
4 December 2005--Met in ATL, Moved in together
July 2006--First visit to the UK, met his Mum
Feb 2007--Eloped and told everyone we were engaged ;)
May 2007--Wedding, Part 1 in Pine Mountain, GA;
Sept 2007--Wedding, Part 2 in Scarborough, UK
Nov ‘08–1st Child
May ‘10–2nd Child
June 2013--Decided to move to the UK!
July 2013-Jan 2016–family tragedies. Delayed move
April ‘15–3rd Child
2019...planning again
January 2022–applying for visa!
Goal: Get Eldest in UK school by year 9!
Hopefully moving to Malvern June 2022


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Re: My husband never figured out living in the US
« Reply #21 on: August 14, 2019, 05:48:44 PM »
Yes! It would be 3-4 years for us as well. We’re 40. It would be a significant pay cut too because he makes a stupid amount of money here. But we do have enough equity in our house to put down a good downpayment there. So there’s that.  We’d have to be debt free with $40K in savings.

Same. Though my husband has continued to shoot down the idea because he thinks he's in line for a promotion at his current workplace. They have passed him over twice now--I hate to tell him that they probably will again. I have been a stay at home mom since our youngest was born, but I'm itching to get back to a reliable job so we can build our savings up. (I've been working from home as a freelancer and my income is embarrassingly low these days.) In the meantime, I torture myself with looking at homes for sale in various parts of the UK and trying to avoid watching the news over here in the States since it's always so depressing.


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Re: My husband never figured out living in the US
« Reply #22 on: August 15, 2019, 09:14:45 PM »
Havent moved yet but plan to, I've been here in california 6 years and have made friends but noone I would be too upset to leave behind and I still cant get on board with the culture also, I agree the uk no matter where you are does seem to have a slower pace to it where people sit for a minute and enjoy things, everything seems rushed and too formal here. We also had a little boy last year and I dont want to raise a child here, it doesnt feel like a safe country.


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Re: My husband never figured out living in the US
« Reply #23 on: August 08, 2021, 08:09:51 PM »
I have an update:
A year after the last post on this thread (last summer), we made a final decision.  A LOT of factors got us all the way there, but we sold our house, paid off most of our debt, and now are living very cheaply in my rural GA hometown and saving for the move.  I plan to apply for my visa in January/February and hopefully move when the kiddos get out of school (end of May). 

Around the same time that I concluded I was well and truly done with the US, I mentioned it to my husband and he basically demanded we go and ASAP.  Turns out, he came to the same conclusion about not fitting in and wanting to finish raising our kids there.

It has taken a while, but he is now settled into the idea that this is actually happening and he is getting excited.  He is smiling more, showing more interest in things, and just generally more engaged in everything just knowing he gets to go home.  The first few stages of this plan nearly broke me (updating and selling our house, moving, planning next steps), but I have never seen  him so happy.

It was the right decision.  I am getting impatient to go as well.  I'm on the last stages of purging our things, clamping down super tight on the budget, and starting to plan a Xmas visit so we can do some reconnaissance.

We narrowed it down to Malvern, which is where he last lived and near or less than an hour from all of his close friends save one, and about an hour from virtually all of our family.

So we have a plan, a place, and a date.  We are just a few weeks from being all the way done with purging (I already purged about a third of our stuff when we moved and we are in a house smaller than most houses we are looking at in Malvern, so not it's just for the convenience of not having to move it). Then after the new year it's gonna be madness.
4 December 2005--Met in ATL, Moved in together
July 2006--First visit to the UK, met his Mum
Feb 2007--Eloped and told everyone we were engaged ;)
May 2007--Wedding, Part 1 in Pine Mountain, GA;
Sept 2007--Wedding, Part 2 in Scarborough, UK
Nov ‘08–1st Child
May ‘10–2nd Child
June 2013--Decided to move to the UK!
July 2013-Jan 2016–family tragedies. Delayed move
April ‘15–3rd Child
2019...planning again
January 2022–applying for visa!
Goal: Get Eldest in UK school by year 9!
Hopefully moving to Malvern June 2022


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Re: My husband never figured out living in the US
« Reply #24 on: August 08, 2021, 08:43:28 PM »
I have an update:
A year after the last post on this thread (last summer), we made a final decision.  A LOT of factors got us all the way there, but we sold our house, paid off most of our debt, and now are living very cheaply in my rural GA hometown and saving for the move.  I plan to apply for my visa in January/February and hopefully move when the kiddos get out of school (end of May). 

Around the same time that I concluded I was well and truly done with the US, I mentioned it to my husband and he basically demanded we go and ASAP.  Turns out, he came to the same conclusion about not fitting in and wanting to finish raising our kids there.

It has taken a while, but he is now settled into the idea that this is actually happening and he is getting excited.  He is smiling more, showing more interest in things, and just generally more engaged in everything just knowing he gets to go home.  The first few stages of this plan nearly broke me (updating and selling our house, moving, planning next steps), but I have never seen  him so happy.

It was the right decision.  I am getting impatient to go as well.  I'm on the last stages of purging our things, clamping down super tight on the budget, and starting to plan a Xmas visit so we can do some reconnaissance.

We narrowed it down to Malvern, which is where he last lived and near or less than an hour from all of his close friends save one, and about an hour from virtually all of our family.

So we have a plan, a place, and a date.  We are just a few weeks from being all the way done with purging (I already purged about a third of our stuff when we moved and we are in a house smaller than most houses we are looking at in Malvern, so not it's just for the convenience of not having to move it). Then after the new year it's gonna be madness.

That's great news! Must feel great no longer being stuck in limbo. Best of luck with the rest of the plan.  :)


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