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Topic: He hit me..  (Read 4133 times)

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He hit me..
« on: June 07, 2019, 12:57:57 PM »
  Last saturday I was out with my husband at a social event for his coworkers and we were having a great time. I was seated, engaging with some others as he was drinking and drinking more but we have never had any physical issues prior to this. I leave and go to the toilet come back and out of now where he is grabbing me, and smacks me as I struggle to get him off of me he lands one last blow to my face. Security and his friends grab him, Im rushed to the back and the police are called. Long story short Im fine, I have a daughter and have only been in the country for several months. My anniversary is sunday, I do have a job but I cant stay in this house. He will be allowed to return at the end of the month so Im considering flying back to America as I feel very unsafe. Im lost, hurt and will be going back home with nothing, how do I go about getting a divorce, what if he takes my money from my final pay  that comes to my account. Any advice would be appreciated.  :\\\'(
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Re: He hit me..
« Reply #1 on: June 07, 2019, 01:22:18 PM »
I am so so sorry to hear this.  Big hugs!

I would talk to your company and have the pay details changed.  They should be able to change the bank account information - or possibly issue you a paper cheque. 

Take care of yourself and your child.

Divorce is pretty hard here, it would be easiest if you file in the USA, especially if you are planning to return there permanently.  They are changing the laws here so that you no longer have to wait 2 years, but it hasn't changed yet.  Plus, it will be a LOT easier to deal with the divorce where you are physically located.  Let him be the one who is inconvenienced! 

Again, big big hugs!


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Re: He hit me..
« Reply #2 on: June 07, 2019, 01:56:56 PM »
I can't offer any useful advice here but just want to say I'm so incredibly sorry for what you're going through...
My, how time flies....

* Married in the US and applied for first spousal visa August 2013
* Moved to the UK on said visa October 2013
* FLR(M) applied for  May 2016. Biometrics requested June 2016. Approval given July 2016.
* ILR applied for January 2019 (using priority processing). Approved February 2019.
* Citizenship applied for May  2019
* Citizenship approved on July 4th 2019
* Ceremony conducted on August 28th 2019

'Mommy, Wow! I'm a legit Brit now!'


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Re: He hit me..
« Reply #3 on: June 07, 2019, 02:50:40 PM »
You are probably still in shock. Be kind to yourself and be careful. x


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Re: He hit me..
« Reply #4 on: June 08, 2019, 05:57:05 AM »
See your GP and a solicitor. Injuries can take a while to show up. Post trauma can happen.

Try and get advice from a woman's group. If you feel up to it, you have options for staying here when domestic violence is present.
I just hope that more people will ignore the fatalism of the argument that we are beyond repair. We are not beyond repair. We are never beyond repair. - AOC


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Re: He hit me..
« Reply #5 on: June 08, 2019, 01:56:35 PM »
Sorry to hear what happened to you.

Divorce is pretty hard here, it would be easiest if you file in the USA, especially if you are planning to return there permanently.  They are changing the laws here so that you no longer have to wait 2 years, but it hasn't changed yet.  Plus, it will be a LOT easier to deal with the divorce where you are physically located.  Let him be the one who is inconvenienced! 

I think the financial divorce award might be better if you divorce in the US? That might be worth looking into too. If they don't pay, the US is much tougher on dead beats than the UK is.


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Re: He hit me..
« Reply #6 on: June 15, 2019, 12:53:36 PM »
Depends on if it's a no-fault divorce or not. (Some states only have those.)

Child support would be another matter. They do try to collect, but collecting it from overseas will be a nightmare. As it was, it took us over twenty years (yes, years) to get what was owed my kid from "absent parent" who skipped out to another state.

I agree with above, though. See a GP. See a counselor. And see a good lawyer. I'm so sorry you are having to deal with this at all.


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Re: He hit me..
« Reply #7 on: June 15, 2019, 03:24:06 PM »
The child is AJ’s from a previous relationship that she brought over from the UK.


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