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Topic: Do you LOVE the UK compared to USA, or is life keeping you here?  (Read 5274 times)

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Re: Do you LOVE the UK compared to USA, or is life keeping you here?
« Reply #45 on: July 16, 2019, 04:00:24 PM »
I get that they asked the question another time but....so what? It's not like they are asking people for their social security numbers or anything!

The OP has started about different 10 threads on this same topic over the last 12 years, asking the same questions about the US vs. the UK, and the UK vs. other European countries... he pops up for a few weeks, asks the questions, then disappears for a couple of years, then comes back, asks the questions again, then disappears for a couple of years again, then comes back, ask them again etc.

It does seem a little odd to keep asking the same questions for 12 years, but never actually making any decision about whether or not to move to the UK.


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Re: Do you LOVE the UK compared to USA, or is life keeping you here?
« Reply #46 on: July 16, 2019, 04:24:51 PM »
I'm still not seeing the harm. And to call it out is sort of seems like picking on someone...which is why I guess it rubbed me the wrong way. Also, the OP said as much. It's strikes me as odd because it seems like the questions aren't skewed positively or negatively. They are just asking. Who are we to judge if they haven't been able to move or whatever the reason? Maybe I'm just not that internet savvy and don't know the rules or forums or something but this did not strike me as odd, even knowing it's been going on for a couple of years. We all probably have some dicey things we've said or looked up on the internet. Asking what life compares to the US vs UK doesn't seem particularly strange considering yet it seems the OP is being treated that way.


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Re: Do you LOVE the UK compared to USA, or is life keeping you here?
« Reply #47 on: July 16, 2019, 04:41:37 PM »
I just want to respond to clarify that I was not picking on OP with my posts if it was my initial post you're referring to to where the conversation turned. I just found it odd that the same question was being asked every so often, always centred around the same thing or leading back to the same question (and in previous posts, it seemed like we were being lead to try to give a particular answer - just my feelings). I literally said whatever the reason was, it's totally fine so was not trying to judge what their reasons were for asking if they were being genuine and wanting to know but I couldn't pretend that it didn't strike me as odd to have this re-asked multiple times. I posed the question in hopes that maybe getting a response from the OP so that I could understand where they were coming from but had even said in one of my comments about how they don't owe me an explanation by any means so if they chose not to advise further, that's fine.

Not looking to create any negative conversations by continuing to respond by any means, but felt I needed to explain why I initially pushed back to the question.
My, how time flies....

* Married in the US and applied for first spousal visa August 2013
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* ILR applied for January 2019 (using priority processing). Approved February 2019.
* Citizenship applied for May  2019

**CITIZENSHIP APPROVED July 4, 2019! Formal ceremony on August 28, 2019!**

HEY MOM, I'M A BRIT NOW :D


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Re: Do you LOVE the UK compared to USA, or is life keeping you here?
« Reply #48 on: July 16, 2019, 04:58:51 PM »
Sure, but the effect was the OP did feel singled out, saying they felt like a 500 pound person in a basement or an investigative reporter. I think it's fine to question or wonder why they'd be asking that over and over but to actually question it and put it out in the open for everyone to see is another. Aren't they entitled to the privacy to ask? If they had wanted to put more info, i'm sure they would have.

But again, I still dont see the big deal? So they want to know what the difference between living in the UK vs US? It still seems harmless? Anyway, I'll drop it too.


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Re: Do you LOVE the UK compared to USA, or is life keeping you here?
« Reply #49 on: July 16, 2019, 05:27:43 PM »

But again, I still dont see the big deal? So they want to know what the difference between living in the UK vs US? It still seems harmless?

I can't speak for KoD, but it seemed strange to me, too. I don't have any problem with asking the differences between the UK & US, and then staying with the discussion and asking for clarification and asking follow up questions that result from the conversation, but that's not what the OP has been doing.

The OP has started about different 10 threads on this same topic over the last 12 years, asking the same questions about the US vs. the UK, and the UK vs. other European countries... he pops up for a few weeks, asks the questions, then disappears for a couple of years, then comes back, asks the questions again, then disappears for a couple of years again, then comes back, ask them again etc.

That pattern is markedly different from what other people do, and while probably harmless it's also a little bit trollish.


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Re: Do you LOVE the UK compared to USA, or is life keeping you here?
« Reply #50 on: July 16, 2019, 05:50:12 PM »
I would hazard a guess that a contributing reason why some people may think the behaviour may border on trolling is that one of the earlier threads started by the OP queried why the Brits were so "freaking rude and anti-American" if memory serves correctly.  I suspect this led to the impression for some that subsequent threads weren't genuinely seeking advice and experience, but rather a shielded way to potentially bring up pre-concieved negatives about the UK and British people (in more of an inflammatory way rather than a constructive discussion way).


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Re: Do you LOVE the UK compared to USA, or is life keeping you here?
« Reply #51 on: July 16, 2019, 06:06:45 PM »
Now, that being said, I fully admit to being overly cynical and paranoid at times, and sometimes jumping to conclusions and worst-case-scenarios. 

The last thing I would want to happen is for someone to leave the forum when she or he is seeking information.  I do apologize to the OP if the total incorrect impression has been had, and hope you do stick around the community.


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Do you LOVE the UK compared to USA, or is life keeping you here?
« Reply #52 on: July 16, 2019, 07:02:40 PM »
I think that it is terribly fattest to imply that everyone who knows their way around a computer weighs 500 pounds and I demand an immediate apology.  It’s time to moderate this thread under the rules that we can’t have any humour based on disability or appearance.  We should remove every reply that refers to that.

Isn’t it funny how every thread where we have had a troll has descended into arguments where we generally don’t have any?  If you don’t know why, go look up what a troll is.  Nobody has stopped this poster from starting a discussion and getting results.  Being accused of being a troll is not earth shattering if you act like one and in this case the end result has been exactly what a troll would desire. 


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« Last Edit: July 16, 2019, 07:05:35 PM by jimbocz »


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Re: Do you LOVE the UK compared to USA, or is life keeping you here?
« Reply #53 on: July 16, 2019, 07:40:12 PM »
Well, I was none the wiser because i hadn't bothered to check this person's background as it seemed like an innocent question. And to be fair, I think the negativity didn't start with the OP (if you look at this like an objective observer) I also think the question is interesting and valid to people who might come on this board and be wondering the same thing. That's why I still post on here even though I'm not living in the UK anymore. I WISHED i had someone to give me more advice when I was struggling or even to commiserate with and some people on this board definitely helped me so much so some I still keep in touch with. It helped to know it wasn't just me going through the same thing.

As for the OP's actual question, one thing that wasn't really brought up on here was how the country's culture might change because of Brexit for Americans. In my own experience, being part of the EU was the biggest thing that saved my experience there. 99 percent of my friends were from the EU. So I'd be very lonely indeed without it. Also, especially with what's going on now in the US. I so wished the US had something like the EU to safeguard with human rights etc, like maternity leave, etc. That was a big draw for me in moving to London. Now, those rights might stay but it's something to think about and definitely something to be concerned about.

Some people do move to the UK with access to Europe being a huge draw, not just to visit but the laws that protect people and the chance to meet so many different kinds of people. So without that, yeah, I'd say the cost benefit isn't exactly the same anymore if those things were a big draw for you.


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Re: Do you LOVE the UK compared to USA, or is life keeping you here?
« Reply #54 on: July 17, 2019, 05:13:22 AM »
Well, I was none the wiser because i hadn't bothered to check this person's background as it seemed like an innocent question. And to be fair, I think the negativity didn't start with the OP (if you look at this like an objective observer) I also think the question is interesting and valid to people who might come on this board and be wondering the same thing. That's why I still post on here even though I'm not living in the UK anymore. I WISHED i had someone to give me more advice when I was struggling or even to commiserate with and some people on this board definitely helped me so much so some I still keep in touch with. It helped to know it wasn't just me going through the same thing.

As for the OP's actual question, one thing that wasn't really brought up on here was how the country's culture might change because of Brexit for Americans. In my own experience, being part of the EU was the biggest thing that saved my experience there. 99 percent of my friends were from the EU. So I'd be very lonely indeed without it. Also, especially with what's going on now in the US. I so wished the US had something like the EU to safeguard with human rights etc, like maternity leave, etc. That was a big draw for me in moving to London. Now, those rights might stay but it's something to think about and definitely something to be concerned about.

Some people do move to the UK with access to Europe being a huge draw, not just to visit but the laws that protect people and the chance to meet so many different kinds of people. So without that, yeah, I'd say the cost benefit isn't exactly the same anymore if those things were a big draw for you.

You're the best example of the words "friendly American" and in a world of bad behavior and less than thoughtful acts, it is good to run into a few people who remind us all how to treat others with respect. It's the strangest thing to go onto a website and have fellow Americans want to challenge a poster's legitimacy or motives when asking questions about life experiences of a fellow American on a "expat website". It's odd! And it makes me pull back. 

Because you were so kind and thoughtful I want to add a bit more. I've been on this site for years, planned a move to Europe, had a elderly parent need my help, put the move off, broke up with my then British finance, later lost my parent, found love again and we now are retiring in France. All in a nutshell. I hope the next time an American come to this website they find you, or an American like you that is thoughtful and less self serving and closed off. Because this type of business of verify your intensions before we think you're ok in our group is snarky at best and  boarder line paranoid at worse. Thank You.


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Re: Do you LOVE the UK compared to USA, or is life keeping you here?
« Reply #55 on: July 17, 2019, 06:15:10 AM »
Listen how Americans abroad react to other Americans is a thing. I speak to other Americans sometimes.

There was an American guy in a meeting recently. A local asked him where he was from and he said Texas. I chirped in, "Oh, so sorry to here that". We had a bit of a laugh.
I just hope that more people will ignore the fatalism of the argument that we are beyond repair. We are not beyond repair. We are never beyond repair. - AOC


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Re: Do you LOVE the UK compared to USA, or is life keeping you here?
« Reply #56 on: July 17, 2019, 07:57:17 AM »
You're the best example of the words "friendly American" and in a world of bad behavior and less than thoughtful acts, it is good to run into a few people who remind us all how to treat others with respect. It's the strangest thing to go onto a website and have fellow Americans want to challenge a poster's legitimacy or motives when asking questions about life experiences of a fellow American on a "expat website". It's odd! And it makes me pull back. 

Because you were so kind and thoughtful I want to add a bit more. I've been on this site for years, planned a move to Europe, had a elderly parent need my help, put the move off, broke up with my then British finance, later lost my parent, found love again and we now are retiring in France. All in a nutshell. I hope the next time an American come to this website they find you, or an American like you that is thoughtful and less self serving and closed off. Because this type of business of verify your intensions before we think you're ok in our group is snarky at best and  boarder line paranoid at worse. Thank You.

Trowelling it on a bit thick, aren't you Overheadsmash?


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Re: Do you LOVE the UK compared to USA, or is life keeping you here?
« Reply #57 on: July 17, 2019, 08:13:35 AM »
Trowelling it on a bit thick, aren't you Overheadsmash?

Seriously, all you had to do was tell us this 10 posts ago when we very nicely asked you what’s going on.  Which is what a normal person would have done, with participating in an actual conversation rather than showing up every 3 years to ask the same question and steer the thread like it’s a focus group.

I’m still not convinced that you aren’t a troll, and this BS of “Oh Nan, you are so respectful and not rude like the others so I am going to tell you.....” is a further Indicator that your motives for posting are to sow division and conflict.  So far, you’ve done an admirable job at that. 

I, for one, aren’t going to feed this troll any more and won’t be posting again in this thread. 





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Re: Do you LOVE the UK compared to USA, or is life keeping you here?
« Reply #58 on: July 17, 2019, 08:22:14 AM »
Because this type of business of verify your intensions before we think you're ok in our group is snarky at best and  boarder line paranoid at worse. Thank You.

Honestly, you will be hard pressed to find a more welcoming and friendly group than we are here. Unfortunately, the timing of this  thread was less than ideal as we have been experiencing some troll like behaviour from a couple of newish posters recently so our senses are a bit heightened currently.

I'd encourage you to not take it personally but maybe just try to understand the reason behind the skepticism.

I've been on this site for years, planned a move to Europe, had a elderly parent need my help, put the move off, broke up with my then British finance, later lost my parent, found love again and we now are retiring in France. All in a nutshell.

Playing devil's advocate, I could wonder why you are asking us to compare life in the UK vs the USA when you have already decided to retire to France?
« Last Edit: July 17, 2019, 08:44:58 AM by larrabee »
March 28th 2013-Moved to UK, husband on spouse visa.Oct 20th 2015-Applied by mail for FLR(M).Feb 1st 2016 FLR(M).March 7th 2018 ILR. YAY! March 21st NCS&JCAP appointment.


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Re: Do you LOVE the UK compared to USA, or is life keeping you here?
« Reply #59 on: July 17, 2019, 08:45:06 AM »
Honestly, you will be hard pressed to find a more welcoming and friendly group than we are here.

I have been here for fifteen years and no one has said happy birthday to me. Not once.
I just hope that more people will ignore the fatalism of the argument that we are beyond repair. We are not beyond repair. We are never beyond repair. - AOC


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