These past few months have been quite possibly the worst of my life but thanks to the CV, it has just got worse.
Back in July, my three grandchildren came to live with me. Their mother was high on heroin and went crazy. I had no idea about her ever taking drugs and it was quite a way to find out. She threatened to kill her mother (whom she lived with), her children and herself. The sibling of the mother called the police and the police called me because they got my number from the maternal grandmother. My son was conveniently absent because unbeknownst to me, he had warrants for his arrest. In order for the children to be placed with me, he had to give his permission or the children placed into CPS care. Of course, I forced him to show up and he was promptly arrested and the children were placed with me by CPS.
At that time (June to September), my husband’s business is the slowest in the year and we survive on savings. My youngest child had graduated from high school and I was finally free to get a full time job (I worked part time prior) to make up the shortfall. I worked for a month before the children came to live with me. I had to give up my job completely but I didn’t think it would be difficult because I was informed it would only be for three months. My son would have to test negative on drug tests and do classes assigned by his parole officer & CPS. I didn’t think it would be a problem because I didn’t think he wouldn’t comply because he’d obviously want his children back. I was wrong.
He chose not to stop taking drugs, he refused to get a job and has been a general loser. My husband has had to use all our savings to help pay for the expenses of the kids as well as our two adult children helping pay bills. After six months (January), the CPS escalated the case and has given my son one last chance to do the work. He finally got a job and has lowered his drug use, which I suppose is better. But he’s still testing positive. He is now on a CPS program which has me continue the care of the children for an additional nine months to twelve. So all in all, I’m expected to care for the children 18 months in total. Fine but money is very tight and in seven months, I’ve received $125 from my son.
The world has fallen apart this week. My husband lost all his contracts up to August. The only money we now have is earmarked for Texas sales tax and the fees for contracts after September. We are hoping to negotiate with our landlord to give us a grace period but she’s not taking our calls. We have used all our savings.
I called the maternal grandmother to ask her how she’s holding up. She was crying because she lost her job and her daughter lost her status as a DACA recipient due to her felony charge. Her daughter has been in jail since July and was moved to ICE in February. She’s being deported to Mexico today. The maternal grandmother told me that she has had enough being illegal in the US and she can’t stand the fact that her daughter can no longer return. She is returning to Mexico at the end of the month, for good.
I asked the ex-husband, father of my son, for help and as usual, he was a waste of space. I spent years, especially during the years we lived in England, keeping the relationship between he and his son alive. I didn’t even ask for a single $1 during those years because I felt guilty that I fell in love with a man and followed him to England with our son. I put up, FOR YEARS, being told how he wished he had spent his son’s impressionable years with our son and made sure I felt deep guilt. I put up with so much crap from him for two decades that now when I need his help for OUR grandchildren, he just won’t help. I feel sucker punched that I crazily expected him to have compassion but I was horribly wrong. He conveniently forgot all the things I’ve done for him over the years. I wish I had just done the bare minimum for him now and I’m completely done with him forever.
Today, I made the call that I have been dreading to make. I called CPS to inform them that I can no longer care for the children due to economic hardship. They are pushing through the case through the legal system and we have a court case soon to strip my son of his parental rights and to take the three children from my home into care.
My heart is broken into tiny little pieces.
My rage is beyond measure.
I’m sorry for venting but no one, apart from my sister and my in-laws, know what is happening to our family. I have been keeping this to myself for too long. It seems like a lifetime ago, in 2015, that we earnestly planned our move back to England to spend a new phase of our lives in August 2019 as “empty nesters”. We sold our home, had the intention to use the equity (£85,000) for our move, we started a business so we could leave for our children in the US and a skill set to begin again in our older age and start a new business in England and care for my aging in-laws. I guess that’s all off the table now.
Thank you all for reading.
Good luck to all of you during these crazy times.
Please isolate or at least be safe.
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