Now I know. !!!

Good Morning from Toronto everyone,
Well after months and after  a lot of thinking meditations understanding and researching  about health and sickness, i found out my Wife has some serious Issues, which i never knew, It comes down from her mother side
- She gave her up for adoption (got her back)
- Her grand mother raised her , Mother is not educated left school at 15 to care for them
- she left the house at 18, educated herself and went on to own her business. (really Stoked about this)
- She was abused by a family friend who threatened her when she was 13
I had a chat with her doctor today..she keeps breaking down, i am the only one she could trust..and she she has acknowledged what she has done to me....
Anyways someone recommended a Immigration lawyer here Chrys Something i can't even get in touch with him.he leaves one worded messages.

If she wants me there she has to show initiative  i will help her.

I honestly think you coming back here to be with her will be a massive mistake for you and your mental health but you have to make the right choice for you at the end of the day. I think it was clear that there were definitely mental health issues before (iirc, i think you even mentioned that you knew they were there and she just didn't admit to them) and people can change and get better. You can support but i don't think her progress should depend on you being here as that could also be her manipulating you or using you as a crutch to be enabled with her behaviour. Appreciate her past is complicated but i really hope you take a minute to consider yourself and your mental health (for example, if your job prospects are better in canada, why not look to move her to you?). Continuing to wish you nothing but the best and my opinion is just that (only an opinion).

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Right on all accounts..thats why i am not in a hurry to go back..i wanted closure i got it..
- I am making some plans to go back Home. Darjeeling/Nepal by the end of next summer to open to cottages bed and breakfast..its a bit difficult doing it my self, i will go for about three weeks setup everything come back and then leave .

By the way love your photos on IG xx

Cottage bed & breakfast sounds really lovely and i hope it's something you really enjoy doing. Is there any potential for her to come to you if you're interested in reconciling?

Thanks i also enjoy seeing your photos

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- I am making some plans to go back Home. Darjeeling/Nepal by the end of next summer to open to cottages bed and breakfast..its a bit difficult doing it my self, i will go for about three weeks setup everything come back and then leave .

That sounds amazing, Eddy, and so therapeutic. 

Just promise us you won’t put pressure on yourself to “fix her”.  She needs to fully heal herself before she can be with someone again.  Protect your heart a bit - you are worth it!   

Just promise us you won’t put pressure on yourself to “fix her”.  She needs to fully heal herself before she can be with someone again.  Protect your heart a bit - you are worth it!   

Yes, this! You can't fix her more than she is willing to do the leg work to fix herself with the help of a professional.

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That sounds amazing, Eddy, and so therapeutic. 

Yes .. Talking to my friends ..here It seems i just done belong here anymore..days of being alone.come and go..the strength in me is slowly being. consumed.working from home.. Working for the Law Society of canada..its like everyone in IT knows everything but they cant expand on the topics. I just the simple things thats but yes ..As for Andrea..its an up and down. i deal with it..i would do it for anyone not just her..Humanity is my greatest strength, my friend.

Just promise us you won’t put pressure on yourself to “fix her”.  She needs to fully heal herself before she can be with someone again.  Protect your heart a bit - you are worth it!   

I hate to see people suffer, i just can't..i understand what you are saying KF she knows that. my wish for her to to get well and be safe to find peace in herself.

She is/was seeing a Psychiatrist  and hopefully she is still going through with it..every month..

Before i came back..i spent 3 weeks in Darjeeling then Nepal i miss the mountains ..the himalayas..and the peoplei felt i learn to love all over again with an open heart.
Check my IG ...you don't have to like just look posted some photos there. of Nepal
eddyj Photogrpghy

Those are beautiful photos!

Ty Larrabee, i just want to get lost in all that....find love or let love find me..its beautiful when it  works...

- I am making some plans to go back Home. Darjeeling/Nepal by the end of next summer to open to cottages bed and breakfast..its a bit difficult doing it my self, i will go for about three weeks setup everything come back and then leave .

This sounds wonderful and such a way forward!

TY Phatbeetle much appreciated...

 I have decided after many hours of conversation with medical ppl on issues about my wife ..and her actions.. to cut it short...all this stems from her family and growing up and after communication with the nurse and her doctor....i want to give her the benefit of doubt so i have decided to make my way there. so i have to re-apply. so it will be done.. I know there is a long wait ..by immigration..i"ll leave it like that.