Staying together after marriage

I've been thinking about this a lot, and it seems inhumane to me to have to be apart from my American husband once we're married. So, I'm looking at all the options that would allow us to stay together. How many different options do we have, and what would they be?

Apply for a fiancé visa and marry in the uk within 6 months and then apply for flr(m).

Marry in the us and remain with him until his (uk) spouse visa is approved.

Apply for a K1 fiancé visa and marry in the US and hen convert to the us equivalent of flr(m).

Describing it is inhumane to be separated for your spouse for a few weeks/ couple of months is a tad melodramatic imho...


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I can't move to the US anyway, so that's out.
I can't afford to stay in America potentially overstaying my visit visa whilst we wait for the spousal visa, so that's out too.
So marrying in the UK is the only option left.
I'm a very emotional person, so the idea of being apart from my husband is not something I wish to endure. Long distance is hard enough before marriage.

I can't move to the US anyway, so that's out.
I can't afford to stay in America potentially overstaying my visit visa whilst we wait for the spousal visa, so that's out too.
So marrying in the UK is the only option left.
I'm a very emotional person, so the idea of being apart from my husband is not something I wish to endure. Long distance is hard enough before marriage.

Just keep in mind how complicated it is to marry in the UK to a foreigner.  Whatever you do, book NOTHING until his visa is in hand.  It likely won't be a big white wedding, Hollywood movie style wedding due to the time restraints and procedures for marrying in the UK, but it'll enable you to not be apart after the wedding.

Unfortunately immigration sucks a lot of the romance of a marriage out of the equation.

Just keep in mind how complicated it is to marry in the UK to a foreigner.  Whatever you do, book NOTHING until his visa is in hand.  It likely won't be a big white wedding, Hollywood movie style wedding due to the time restraints and procedures for marrying in the UK, but it'll enable you to not be apart after the wedding.

Unfortunately immigration sucks a lot of the romance of a marriage out of the equation.

Why is it complicated? From what I've read it seems straightforward enough.
One thing I do wonder is how to prove our intention to marry if it's safer not to book anything first?

We don't want a big wedding anyway, so that doesn't matter. It was always going to be a small and simple event for us.

Looking into the finer details, we can marry wherever we like in Northern Ireland or Scotland so long as the officiant is registered. We'll be living in Northern Ireland, so that's likely where we'll marry to keep things simple. Though if my mum wants to attend, then it may end up being in Scotland.

It is much, much quicker, easier and cheaper to marry in the US as a visitor (which is perfectly fine to do) and apply for a UK spousal visa, than it is to apply for a fiance visa and marry in the UK.

Marry in the US
- you fly to the US as a visitor
- you get married within a couple of days and fly back to the UK (or stay in the US as a visitor for up to 90 days before flying home)
- he applies for a spousal visa
- he moves to the UK and can work and use the NHS for 'free' from day 1
Total visa cost = £1,523 plus £1,200 IHS surcharge = £2,723 (plus your flights to/from the US)

Marry in the UK
- he applies for a fiance visa
- he moves to the UK
- he cannot work or use the NHS for free (so he will need private health insurance)
- you give notice to marry
- you have to wait at least 28 days after giving notice before you can marry... this may be extended to 70 days if your case is referred to to the Home Office (because he has a visa)
- you marry in the UK
- you apply to switch to an FLR(M) visa for him to stay in the UK after the wedding (usually 8 weeks for processing, but may well be longer due to Covid delays)
- once he has the FLR(M) visa, he can finally work in the UK and use the NHS for 'free'
Total visa cost = £1,523 (fiance visa) + £1033 (FLR(M) visa) + £1,000 IHS surcharge = £3,556

As ksand shows, EVERYTHING will be contingent on the date his visa is issued. That starts the clock.  Once here, he will need to get his name on the council tax or utility bill.  Then an appointment at the registry office to give notice.  Then you have to wait for clearance from the Home Office to proceed, so the date will be unknown until that happens.  Then he has to have applied for his visa extension within six months of receiving the first visa in the US.  It’s just a pain in the ass. 

And he can’t do a damn thing while all of that is happening.  Can’t work, can’t further his education, can’t volunteer, it can be really lonely.

But, for some couples, it *is* the right choice.  Just have good insurance as an outstanding bill with the NHS will cause an automatic refusal of his spouse visa.  Insurance will (literally) insure that’s not an issue.

Whilst I won't pretend that £800 is a small figure, it's worth it to have him with me.
I have already saved £2500, so I'm not totally unprepared financially. We'll be waiting for possibly another year until we can apply in any case.