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Topic: How am I going to get all the way through this?  (Read 4479 times)

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How am I going to get all the way through this?
« on: July 23, 2020, 07:05:11 AM »
I am selling my house [first time selling a house].
I am re-settling my untreated unmedicated bipolar brother to his first place by himself in 4 years.
I have three daughters, one who has a compound speech delay and dyspraxia and one who has mild autism and possibly will also have childhood onset bipolar disorder.
My husband has a pretty severe case of dyspraxia himself, which makes it difficult for him to effectively communicate.
I am suffering from a pretty bad bout of OCD symptoms right now and I'm not sleeping.
Managing all of these conditions with therapies and routines and systems is making my OCD symptoms worse.
Managing  every single stinking part of repairs, organizing, purging, planning, and updates to get my house ready to sell is very much making me worse.

How am I going to 1] Find a place to rent before our house is like not ours anymore. 2] Make all the decisions about all the things. Hundreds and hundreds of things. Thousands? It might be thousands. 3] Continue everything I need to do to keep everyone from going over the edge. and THEN. Then 4] Actually get us over there and the thousands of things that go with that!!!!? 

It feels impossible to just get through this first step: getting the house ready to sell. I can only hope that once it's on the market and we start getting offers that I will feel calmer.  I can take a break for a few months after we move into our rental [it will be near my parents so I will have more help at hand with the kids, and my brother will hopefully be more cooperative and stable and therefore helpful once he's not living in our house]. I can afford, likely, until Xmas to relax.

I feel like I have done so much planning and purging already, that I'll just have to compile some paperwork and pile up some cash, then I can apply for my visa once this covid thing  has settled down?  I did a LOT of that work already. I've done planning, budgeting, and preparations.  I will be able to relax once our house has sold. For a minute.

I don't know how anyone does this.

I just keep looking at houses on Rightmove and remembering we want this. We want to give the children the opportunity to live in their other culture.  To be safer from guns and to have healthcare. We love the Rain! And my husband deserves to get to live in HIS home for a while. Eyes on the prize.

Any words of encouragement are welcome and appreciated.
4 December 2005--Met in ATL, Moved in together
July 2006--First visit to the UK, met his Mum
Feb 2007--Eloped and told everyone we were engaged ;)
May 2007--Wedding, Part 1 in Pine Mountain, GA;
Sept 2007--Wedding, Part 2 in Scarborough, UK
Nov ‘08–1st Child
May ‘10–2nd Child
June 2013--Decided to move to the UK!
July 2013-Jan 2016–family tragedies. Delayed move
April ‘15–3rd Child
2019...planning again
January 2022–applying for visa!
Goal: Get Eldest in UK school by year 9!
Hopefully moving to Malvern June 2022


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Re: How am I going to get all the way through this?
« Reply #1 on: July 27, 2020, 02:21:14 PM »
Suggestions:

Don't plan on buying right away. Rent for a year.

As to dealing with the chaos -

I find lists helpful. Write down every task, put a date by it when it absolutely must be completed. Put another date a week (or so) earlier next to it as the date to plan to complete it.

If you can get something done earlier without messing up your work on getting target-date things done, do it. It'll be that much less you'll have to do at the time of its original target-done date. Otherwise, take things in date priority order.

Take things one day at a time as much as you can.

Accept that some things will get fouled up. They always do. You can only do as much as you can do. And that is good enough.

Try to get enough sleep, eat decently, and take a walk every day - by yourself. If you don't take care of yourself, you can't take care of anyone else really, over the long-run.

Best of luck!



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Re: How am I going to get all the way through this?
« Reply #2 on: July 28, 2020, 08:06:40 PM »
Thank you Nan!

I have everything written down in prep for the selling of the house. IT's just SO MUCH every single day.  I'm 3-4 days behind and things keep getting added to the list.

Then when Sept 1 comes and it hits the market, I'll make the spreadsheet for the move back to my hometown [probably going to be there for 12-18 months].  Then after we are unpacked I'm going to make a list for the move to England. I have a basic plan to get moved and settled and get everyone's therapy etc started, THEN do basically nothing until Xmas. NOTHING. Vacation for 1-2 weeks at Xmas, then I'll transfer the kids to the school down there [no reason to change schools before as they'll be doing virtual anyway].

THEN I will get started on the list for the move.  After we are 100% settled. I'm planning to apply for my Visa either next September or the January after.

I am not doing well.  It is TOO HOT here and I am paralyzed with heat related exhaustion.  There is not enough water or salt or A/C for this summer.  I feel like crap.

But alas, I'm off to the hardware store. Again.
4 December 2005--Met in ATL, Moved in together
July 2006--First visit to the UK, met his Mum
Feb 2007--Eloped and told everyone we were engaged ;)
May 2007--Wedding, Part 1 in Pine Mountain, GA;
Sept 2007--Wedding, Part 2 in Scarborough, UK
Nov ‘08–1st Child
May ‘10–2nd Child
June 2013--Decided to move to the UK!
July 2013-Jan 2016–family tragedies. Delayed move
April ‘15–3rd Child
2019...planning again
January 2022–applying for visa!
Goal: Get Eldest in UK school by year 9!
Hopefully moving to Malvern June 2022


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Re: How am I going to get all the way through this?
« Reply #3 on: August 07, 2020, 04:22:52 PM »
Yeah, the South in the summertime is not for the fainthearted!

Good luck with it all.


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Re: How am I going to get all the way through this?
« Reply #4 on: October 09, 2020, 11:24:31 PM »
Finally Did it!  Just an entire month late, the house went on the market Yesterday.
Step one of ...IDK a thousand?  Complete.

Brother is resettled into his own place, too, which set us back a couple of weeks, and other brother--my twin--died of a heart attack in his sleep a few weeks ago.  So that wasn't good.  Good thing I'm going home for several months, eh?  I will probably break WAY ON DOWN when we move and I'm surrounded by all of our memories again.  Right now, I'm just trying to keep trucking along.
4 December 2005--Met in ATL, Moved in together
July 2006--First visit to the UK, met his Mum
Feb 2007--Eloped and told everyone we were engaged ;)
May 2007--Wedding, Part 1 in Pine Mountain, GA;
Sept 2007--Wedding, Part 2 in Scarborough, UK
Nov ‘08–1st Child
May ‘10–2nd Child
June 2013--Decided to move to the UK!
July 2013-Jan 2016–family tragedies. Delayed move
April ‘15–3rd Child
2019...planning again
January 2022–applying for visa!
Goal: Get Eldest in UK school by year 9!
Hopefully moving to Malvern June 2022


  • *
  • Posts: 303

  • Y'all watch out! Here I come.
  • Liked: 9
  • Joined: Jul 2013
  • Location: Pine Mountain, GA
Re: How am I going to get all the way through this?
« Reply #5 on: January 25, 2021, 12:54:30 AM »
It took a really long time from on the market to sold to moved and settled in, but I think I'm there.  Phases 1 through idk 7?: complete.
Prepped and sold house.
Moved Brother to his own place and got him settled.
Moved us.
Totally unpacked.
Purged and reorganized our storage unit fully.  Except for some clothing items that are for the next year/out of season stuff, some projects I want to work on this year [art and fiber things], and a few things I need for summer like coolers and beach stuff, EVERY SINGLE THING in that storage is purged and organized and ready to ship.
Made a hard core budget to pay off remaining debt and save, and should have enough in the bank to seriously start the visa process this time next year.  We will have enough for shipping and the visa and travel  and deposits etc. by this time next year and about a third of what we will need to buy a house.  Renting there for a year, too, while we look.
Made the above mentioned plan for the cost of moving [HEY shipping from Savannah to South Hampton for a 40 ft container is very reasonable! Def can fit into a 40 ft container! Got the vast  majority of  my stuff this time into a 26 ft truck and getting rid of some more of it!]
4 December 2005--Met in ATL, Moved in together
July 2006--First visit to the UK, met his Mum
Feb 2007--Eloped and told everyone we were engaged ;)
May 2007--Wedding, Part 1 in Pine Mountain, GA;
Sept 2007--Wedding, Part 2 in Scarborough, UK
Nov ‘08–1st Child
May ‘10–2nd Child
June 2013--Decided to move to the UK!
July 2013-Jan 2016–family tragedies. Delayed move
April ‘15–3rd Child
2019...planning again
January 2022–applying for visa!
Goal: Get Eldest in UK school by year 9!
Hopefully moving to Malvern June 2022


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Re: How am I going to get all the way through this?
« Reply #6 on: January 25, 2021, 08:22:02 AM »
That is fantastic progress, congratulations,  keep up the good work.
Dual USC/UKC living in the UK since May 2016


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