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Topic: Is this weird? I feel this is really weird and not cool.  (Read 2678 times)

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Re: Is this weird? I feel this is really weird and not cool.
« Reply #30 on: July 12, 2021, 07:09:40 PM »
VERRYY late on the response here and I'm sure I'm just echo-ing all the other responses (I haven't read them all), but I am FIRSTLY very sorry that you're having to deal with this. As far as is this normal or weird, while I'm quite confident behaviour like this does happen - not just towards Americans but towards immigrants as a whole - I wouldn't say this has been the "normal" response in my experience or from what I've heard from other Americans applying for citizenship.

As Larrabee said, it usually ends up that British people assume we automatically have citizenship at the point of marriage and don't even realise how difficult and how many hoops we have to jump through and are usually quite supportive. So many of my in-laws and friends/coworkers have stated how they're impressed as they didn't think they could pass the life in the UK test.


My husband and I are strongly considering just moving to the US as a result. We have lots of love and support there, and my husband already has a green card, so at this point it's just waiting for my citizenship to come through.


My suggested here would be not to let these negative people drive you out. I know it's your in-laws and other people you considered close to you, but I would consider removing them from my life (or at least massively distancing myself from them) if I were in your position before I considered throwing all the time, money, effort, and reason to be proud of what you've accomplished out the window. At the end of the day, nobody needs to support the fact that you are now a citizen because it isn't up to them. It's up to you to apply and the government to either say you meet the criteria and approve. If somebody doesn't agree with that, that's on them to either choose to live happily or miserably with, but it certainly won't change. And if they choose to be miserable about it, I would suggest you choose to keep them at arms length. If you are wanting a new way of life and to try you both being in the US, that's a different story, but don't make that decision just because of people you can  choose remove from your life.

Sending hugs as this should be an achievement you should be massively proud to have completed. Try not to let their negative energy drag you down too much. I realise this has been from a few months back so hoping you decided to stick it out and are doing much better now <3
My, how time flies....

* Married in the US and applied for first spousal visa August 2013
* Moved to the UK on said visa October 2013
* FLR(M) applied for  May 2016. Biometrics requested June 2016. Approval given July 2016.
* ILR applied for January 2019 (using priority processing). Approved February 2019.
* Citizenship applied for May  2019

**CITIZENSHIP APPROVED July 4, 2019! Formal ceremony on August 28, 2019!**

HEY MOM, I'M A BRIT NOW :D


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Re: Is this weird? I feel this is really weird and not cool.
« Reply #31 on: July 13, 2021, 08:35:27 AM »
Good to see you back Kiss of Death! 


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Re: Is this weird? I feel this is really weird and not cool.
« Reply #32 on: July 13, 2021, 08:50:19 AM »
Good to see you back Kiss of Death!
Cheers Jimbo :)

Sent from my SM-G973F using Tapatalk

My, how time flies....

* Married in the US and applied for first spousal visa August 2013
* Moved to the UK on said visa October 2013
* FLR(M) applied for  May 2016. Biometrics requested June 2016. Approval given July 2016.
* ILR applied for January 2019 (using priority processing). Approved February 2019.
* Citizenship applied for May  2019

**CITIZENSHIP APPROVED July 4, 2019! Formal ceremony on August 28, 2019!**

HEY MOM, I'M A BRIT NOW :D


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  • Posts: 109

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  • Joined: Aug 2012
Re: Is this weird? I feel this is really weird and not cool.
« Reply #33 on: August 18, 2021, 01:02:28 PM »
Wow, thank you all so much for your support! Sorry to be so late to this, but I had notifications turned on, though I hadn't been notified. Anyway, thank you again!

Since I last spoke, things haven't really improved with my in-laws. My MIL has been referreing me to people as her "son's wife from abroad" and likes to make it very, very clear to people that I'm not British. There have been more and more comments about how our children "won't be British because of their foreign-born mum" and more recently, it's been suggested that I'm using my husband for a passport. We don't have children, and had hoped to start planning for them in the very near future, and I'm glad that this has all come up now so that they won't have to go through it. I couldn't imagine being a new mom, excited to show off my baby, and then learn just how my in-laws feel. I'd be heartbroken, and at least knowing this now, my husband and I can better plan for ourselves and our family. 

I've recently sought therapy over the verbal abuse I've dealt with over the years from my in-laws, and my therapist agreed with me that it was best for my husband and me to move away from his family. Like, properly move away to somewhere that would be a financial burden to visit. His family don't have the financial means to travel to the US, and while we're both able to financially make these trips back and forth, it's unlikely we will (at least just to visit them). If anything, we'd quietly fly over and see friends, maybe go somewhere for a holiday, and fly back to the US. We have a place in mind on where we'd live, and we're both able to transfer our jobs, thankfully, so that's a huge mountain of worry gone. My aunt, bless her, is just waiting for the text that says, "Can you pick us up on this day at this time?". She's so excited for us to move.

We've been introduced through mutual friends to a couple who are going through the same experience as us. It's really quite spooky how similar their story is to ours. Knowing that we're not alone has made this easier to go through, and also having the support of others really helps us know we're not insane. Thank you all again for reading, and for your support.


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