Luckily, the lady I was talking to about my self assessment was happy to help with my wife's pension question. Even more confusing than the self assessment question. We went back and forth for a good while before it finally clicked what she was talking about. On the Govt site it states the following.
Lump sums from your pension
You can usually take up to 25% of the amount built up in any pension as a tax-free lump sum. The tax-free lump sum doesn’t affect your Personal Allowance.
Tax is taken off the remaining amount before you get it.
Example:
Your whole pension is worth £60,000. You take £15,000 tax-free. Your pension provider takes tax off the remaining £45,000.
My plan was to take the 25% tax free (£17,000) out my wife's pension now and then next year start taking smaller amounts to stay under the tax threshold. IFFFF I finally understood her correctly, That 25% was only if you took the whole shebang out.....the first 25% would be tax free but then you would be taxed to hell on the rest of it. Evidently NOTHING happens over the £12570 threshold without getting taxed. So, since she has gotten a couple thousand from interest this year we can take out maybe £8-9,000 to be safe and then less in the following years. Iffff she starts getting the spousal SS this next summer we will have to be really careful to stay under the threshold. In another 5 years I think she will go over the threshold anyway....so we might just take out more and pay the tax.