Looking to emigrate and I have SO many questions.

*snip*

It depends what your long-term plans (i.e. if you want to live together in the UK or in the US) are as to what you need to do in order to marry in the US:

If you want to marry in the US, but then settle together in the UK:
- he flies to the UK as a visitor on the Visa Waiver Program (ESTA)
- you get married (you could be married as quickly as 24-48 hours after he arrives in the US, depending on the state)
- he flies back to the UK
- you apply for a spousal visa for the UK
- you move to the UK to live with him

*snipsnip*

Ah, sorry for confusing you. Belovedest has zero interest in emigrating to America, partly for health reasons. His medication regimen alone would be $5,000/month versus roughly £200/year.

Poor Belovedest will have to give up his dream of a windswept loch cliff, because being married in America will be easier and cheaper, it looks like. And I’m certain we could find some romantic outdoor scenery for him here 

Hopefully the rest will fall into place as we go on.

I haven't read this whole thread, but one option I don't think I saw discussed was the marriage visitor visa. My husband and I did this, we married in Scotland and then I flew home to tie up loose ends before applying for the spousal settlement visa. You can give notice to marry in Scotland by mail, so there isn't the same residency requirements as in England. Given I could keep working in the time between marriage and settlement visa it was the best choice.

Do not make the assumption your skills will transfer to the UK because they don't really believe in transferable skills here, and be prepared for pretty challenging times. Definitely research your field and what qualifications are needed for the job postings in it. Hopefully you won't run into issues, but the US partner finding work tends to be a struggle for the first year or two if you want something other than retail/restaurant work.

I haven't read this whole thread, but one option I don't think I saw discussed was the marriage visitor visa. My husband and I did this, we married in Scotland and then I flew home to tie up loose ends before applying for the spousal settlement visa. You can give notice to marry in Scotland by mail, so there isn't the same residency requirements as in England. Given I could keep working in the time between marriage and settlement visa it was the best choice.

Do not make the assumption your skills will transfer to the UK because they don't really believe in transferable skills here, and be prepared for pretty challenging times. Definitely research your field and what qualifications are needed for the job postings in it. Hopefully you won't run into issues, but the US partner finding work tends to be a struggle for the first year or two if you want something other than retail/restaurant work.

That’s an option too.

And yikes. I’d rather not the retail or restaurant work, hence why I’ve picked up freelancing. On the other hand, it might be a good idea to. I don’t want to be lonely or cling to Belovedest when I’m there, I’d like to meet people and make friends.

Speaking as someone who worked as a freelance writer in the UK for many years, it is not steady or well paid until you are doing academic or research writing. Content marketing jobs are exceptionally poorly paid, even at senior levels. If you have qualifications, like a BA or a MA, have them evaluated by UK ENIC (formerly NARIC) so you have a statement of comparability before you start looking for work.

Another approach for people who like the idea of being married in the UK due to a preferred location or venue, but really don't fancy the fiance(e) or marriage visitor visa routes, is to have a very simple wedding in the US (just the legal stuff) and have a re-vow ceremony in the UK - and make the latter the huge celebration and essentially treat it as the proper wedding.  One or two members in the past even did this without telling anyone they had already been legally married, and so for the guests, the re-vow ceremony was the actual wedding and no one was the wiser.

Do not make the assumption your skills will transfer to the UK because they don't really believe in transferable skills here, and be prepared for pretty challenging times.

For those with the skills the UK wants, the Skilled Worker visa has a much cheaper fee and often the employer will pay that.
https://www.gov.uk/skilled-worker-visa/your-job

Lots to consider for the two of you.

I would allow yourself to be a bit selfish in the compromise of your life going forward.  From the outside in, it seems like you are making all the sacrifices and taking the biggest risk.

I always get nervous when one person is willing to relocate and the other is not.  While my situation was very different to yours (met my husband when I was living and working in the U.K. on a work visa), I know he would move to the USA if that was the right choice for our family.

Do NOT underestimate how hard it is to move to another country, even one as “similar” to the USA as England. I have children here and I am GREEN with envy for friends and family that have SUPPORT and grandparents who can step in when you just need help.  When I had my youngest, my husband barely made it to the hospital in time as he had to get our daughter to childcare.  Then after I delivered, my baby was taken to the NICU and my eldest had a fever and had to be collected from nursery. I took a selfie of me driving myself home from the hospital after giving birth (because I had driven myself to the hospital). That photo is a reminder that life away from your support network is FAR from what people think it is.  We have a support network. But we have to pay for it  (literally).

Don’t get me wrong, I have chosen to live here. I AM grateful that I didn’t move here “for” my husband. And I am grateful knowing that he will follow me if needed (just as I would follow him).

We do have a pretty comfortable life. We both work in well paid roles that we enjoy.

Have a look at what your earnings could translate to your future husbands benefits. Depending on what he receives, it may be means tested and if you earn, they decrease. You both need to do a lot of research and ensure you are on the same page. And willing to compromise every step of the way.

He’s disabled. Permanently. He is on permanent medical leave.

Does this mean he has a medical retirement pension from his place of work? Or he had/also had, an insurance policy that kicked in when he became unable to work and provides a monthly wage based on what he earned when he worked? The T&Cs will state the rules for those.

If he doesn't have either of those and is on benefits, then that has different rules.

He can only have a limited amount of cash in the bank. So I’m going to be the breadwinner out of necessity.

I don't understand what you mean by this? Why can he only have a limited amount of cash in the bank?

If you are talking about welfare benefits, that depends which benefits he is on.
e.g. the disability payment for adults is PIP. PIP is an in work benefit, therefore it is not affected by the claimants earnings or capital.
Contribution based benefits are not affected by any savings or capital of the claimant or their partner.

Means tested benefits are of course affected by capital but in some cases that only reduces the benefit amount paid by a small amount for every £500 they have over 6k and below 16k - it depends on which benefit it is.

He will know all of this.



When you move in with your partner, he also knows that he must inform the agency of every benefit he claims, that his circumstances have changed. He is not allowed to claim benefits as a single person when he is not.
https://www.gov.uk/report-benefits-change-circumstances
The main thing you will have to be very careful of is to ensure he does not take any Public Funds for you as an extra payment on his benefit claims, as that would be a breach of your No Recourse to Public Funds visa condtions to be in the UK. It's the visa holders responsibilty to ensure they don't take public funds. The benefit agencies will not tell you it is public funds. Charities recommend that a specailist benefit immigration advisor is consulted before claiming any public funds when one partner can take public funds and the other must not.
https://www.turn2us.org.uk/Benefit-guides/Nationals-of-non-European-Economic-Area-(EEA)-coun/My-partner-is-a-person-subject-to-immigration-cont

Another approach for people who like the idea of being married in the UK due to a preferred location or venue, but really don't fancy the fiance(e) or marriage visitor visa routes, is to have a very simple wedding in the US (just the legal stuff) and have a re-vow ceremony in the UK - and make the latter the huge celebration and essentially treat it as the proper wedding.  One or two members in the past even did this without telling anyone they had already been legally married, and so for the guests, the re-vow ceremony was the actual wedding and no one was the wiser.

One thing to note - that I didn't really understand as a person that married in the US until I had friends getting married over here in the UK - you can't just get married ANYWHERE in the UK. You need to find a location that has the right licensing, etc. (not sure the ins and outs of it but it has to be a specific location that you are allowed to have wedding ceremony at). This is kind of another reason why something simple in the US with a vow renewal ceremony in the UK with a party might be more preferential (if you have a specific aesthetic or location you're wanting for your wedding that may not be somewhere you can actually have a ceremony)

Just to take it back to basics as I'm not sure if you've actually said (if you did and I missed it, I apologise), have you visited the UK before and met your OH in person as of yet or has it all been LDR? Definitely not trying to put a damper on anything - by the way - just noting that you are looking at a lot of things around what you should/shouldn't do once you're over here, but it's important to understand how much experience you've had with being in the UK before and what are things to consider that you might not have thought about.

Just to take it back to basics as I'm not sure if you've actually said (if you did and I missed it, I apologise), have you visited the UK before and met your OH in person as of yet or has it all been LDR?

Yes, this is important to highlight as well.  I don't see it mentioned previously (and apologies again if it was and I missed it too), but have you met in real life yet? 

For a fiance(e) visa, one of the requirements is that you have met in person, face to face, at least once prior to applying for the visa.  You cannot apply for a fiance(e) visa if your relationship has been 100% long distance thus far, even if it has been years of doing so.

For a fiance(e) visa, one of the requirements is that you have met in person, face to face, at least once prior to applying for the visa.  You cannot apply for a fiance(e) visa if your relationship has been 100% long distance thus far, even if it has been years of doing so.

Yep!  Definitely this! That's one of the big reasons for why I asked but also - to what KF had pointed out as well - if OP is going to need to be the "main breadwinner" as mentioned and there could be some significant sacrifices made (on both sides - especially in terms of finance), it's important to understand some level of what you're getting yourself into - both in terms of the location and the person you are doing this for. I also think it can be helpful to stay together in a normal living situation (E.G. not a hotel like you're holiday) for a week or two at an absolute minimum AT LEAST once before you uproot your entire life. Love can get you far, but only so far without other factors coming in to play.

Yes, this is important to highlight as well.  I don't see it mentioned previously (and apologies again if it was and I missed it too), but have you met in real life yet? 

For a fiance(e) visa, one of the requirements is that you have met in person, face to face, at least once prior to applying for the visa.  You cannot apply for a fiance(e) visa if your relationship has been 100% long distance thus far, even if it has been years of doing so.

We have! One week each in 2007 and 2010 in America where Belovedest came. Rest of it has been me in the UK: two weeks late summer in 2016, one week again in fall 2017, and one week just this past month in 2021. Next will be planned for NYE 2023 or winter 2023.

We have! One week each in 2007 and 2010 in America where Belovedest came. Rest of it has been me in the UK: two weeks late summer in 2016, one week again in fall 2017, and one week just this past month in 2021.

Aha, no worries then!  It's something we do bring up as we have had members in the past seeking to apply for a fiance(e) visa before meeting their partner in real life, which would have been a very costly mistake.

Next will be planned for NYE 2023 or winter 2023.

Do you have a desired timeline of when you are looking to get married and move over to the UK?

As soon as possible, but, meeting the financial requirements is making me despair to be honest. Just even having the $22,000 is going to take a while.