"we're not doing it there"

That's probably the best idea. If you can clearly lay out to him why getting married in the states would be a better option for you and him as a couple, that should help. You don't want your marriage imploding before it's even begun! To be honest, I'm a bit concerned about how his brother (who is VERY anti-American, but likes me anyway) will take it when we make it official, but that's exactly what we're planning to do--explaining to him that it is the cheaper and more practical option. Hopefully he'll agree, but at the end of the day, it's our wedding.

I also don't want to sound negative, but if he's not willing to explain why he's against marriage in the US and instead insists on stomping his foot down and saying "Don't wanna!", then that kind of raises a red flag for me. He should at least listen to what you have to say, and if he still doesn't agree with it, be able to explain why it is that a UK ceremony means so much to him (it'd be a lot easier for you to understand things that way!).

Good luck, keep us posted.

That's probably the best idea. If you can clearly lay out to him why getting married in the states would be a better option for you and him as a couple, that should help. You don't want your marriage imploding before it's even begun! To be honest, I'm a bit concerned about how his brother (who is VERY anti-American, but likes me anyway) will take it when we make it official, but that's exactly what we're planning to do--explaining to him that it is the cheaper and more practical option. Hopefully he'll agree, but at the end of the day, it's our wedding.

I also don't want to sound negative, but if he's not willing to explain why he's against marriage in the US and instead insists on stomping his foot down and saying "Don't wanna!", then that kind of raises a red flag for me. He should at least listen to what you have to say, and if he still doesn't agree with it, be able to explain why it is that a UK ceremony means so much to him (it'd be a lot easier for you to understand things that way!).

Good luck, keep us posted.

Oh I will.

He listened he just doesn't want to do it here and it's most likely because of his mom and family not being able to come. I would really prefer them coming and i feel horrible that they wouldn't be able to see their last baby getting married if we were to do it here. If it was cheaper to do it in the UK i'd be all over it. I'm just trying to save us money in the long run.

This thread isn't what I thought it would be . . . .

  

Hmmm....his parents wouldn't have to know that you're already married!  Get married in the US, get your spousal visa, then come over here for your (second) wedding!    

Hmmm....his parents wouldn't have to know that you're already married!  Get married in the US, get your spousal visa, then come over here for your (second) wedding!    

 ...haha. I couldn't do that ..im such a sucker lmfao I don't want to dissapoint anyone and I know it would get out somehow. Plus we'd have to live a lie there because they'd think our anniversary is on a totally different day than it would really be. His parents would be heart broken especially his mother if we did something like that and she found out.

Oh I will.

He listened he just doesn't want to do it here and it's most likely because of his mom and family not being able to come. I would really prefer them coming and i feel horrible that they wouldn't be able to see their last baby getting married if we were to do it here. If it was cheaper to do it in the UK I'd be all over it. I'm just trying to save us money in the long run.

OK, I'll be the other side of the argument.  Your reasons seem to be that it'll save money/be easier.  His reasons are that it's really important to him  because of his family.  I think you need to bite the bulllet and do it his way, I really do.  This isn't just one day you need to get through, this is the beginning of something big, and if you hurt the feelings of people that you have to get along with FOREVER just to save money, believe me it's not worth it. 

Start saving your money and find a way to do it here.

OK, I'll be the other side of the argument.  Your reasons seem to be that it'll save money/be easier.  His reasons are that it's really important to him  because of his family.  I think you need to bite the bulllet and do it his way, I really do.  This isn't just one day you need to get through, this is the beginning of something big, and if you hurt the feelings of people that you have to get along with FOREVER just to save money, believe me it's not worth it. 

Start saving your money and find a way to do it here.

It's really important to me about his family also that's why I couldn't do it without telling them or having them there. I don't want to do it without his family...im extreamly close to his mom and that would hurt me if she wasn't there. I do however think it would be wiser to do it here for finance sake but only if they could come and I know they couldn't. We've already talked about it...it's REALLY important for him to have it there so we've already agreed to that.

I'm planning on saving.