Should I take UK job offer or stay in US with my girlfriend?

I love how investigative you guys are...lol I guess thats to be expected with the few posts I've made.  If things don't work out with my gf, then yes, I'd want to be in an area with young singles.

I know it's a decision that only you can make, but most of us would kill for a job offer with that salary.  Really, that's an amazing one in the UK.  You could really have some fun and holiday time here is fantastic, so it would be easy for you to travel a lot and see the rest of the world.

Take the job if you want it. The distance might liven her up a bit, or it might kill the relationship. Only one way to find out. Sounds to me like you could use a change in your life.

Fully agree with this. It sounds like you should just go for it. Who knows what could happen? If it were me, I would think this job offer came into my life for a reason and I would want to know why. 

Take the job if you want it. The distance might liven her up a bit, or it might kill the relationship. Only one way to find out. Sounds to me like you could use a change in your life.

I agree with this.  Take the job and (if you both like) stay in touch with each other.  If the relationship is meant to be, things will work out.  

Take the job. 

When I decided to move to London for school, I'd been with someone for over 2 years.  I was not happy with the relationship; he was a flake and just not there for me.  We broke up every other week and in the end, I was afraid I'd end up wasting even more time with him.  So, I applied for my MA program and went for it.  He was not happy with me leaving and we ultimately split up.

I have absolutely no regrets.  The relationship was not a good reason for me to stay.  Getting to live in London, even for the few years I was there was worth more than anything he could've done to persuade me to stay. 

The happy ending was that after coming home, when I met my now-husband, one of the things that brought me and DH together was the fact that I'd followed a dream, done something very adventurous and just went for it.   

I agree with taking the job offer.

However, you really must decide if you intend to work on your relationship, in advance of your move.  From your original post, your GF is unhappy because of your somewhat lack of commitment to the relationship/saying you will do things and then not.  THis has led to her being resentful and feeling taking advantage of.  Her assessment may be unfair (I don't know) but clearly you guys haven't worked out the issues and they continue to be a problem.

You have to consider that long distance relationships are hard and take an incredible amount of (1) effort and (2) trust.  If you thought your relationship was strained before because you didn't hold on to your promises, your relationship will implode if you do the same once you move to the UK.  You are going to have less leeway than most other relationships have because your GF already is resentful.  So the first time you say you are going to call and you don't -- you will get the weight of all your other unresolved issues on top of the one missed phone call.

If you couldn't/didn't want to resolve the issues before, the LDR strain will certainly exacerbate your existing problems.  And you really need to make a decision on that now.  It isn't fair to your GF or you, otherwise.

I negotiated the salary up to 70k and decided to take the job.  Thank you all for your input.

I must say, this is the best board (and I've been on countless since the inception of the net).  Your wise, thoughtful and lucid comments definitely helped in my decision making process. 

I told my girlfriend today...in our previous discussions she seemed like she wanted me to leave.  However, this time, she flipped out on me...arguing in line at a sandwich shop, saying I am a liar...I am running away from her, etc.  Now I'm even more torn that I've made the decision.

I told my girlfriend today...in our previous discussions she seemed like she wanted me to leave.  However, this time, she flipped out on me...arguing in line at a sandwich shop, saying I am a liar...I am running away from her, etc.  Now I'm even more torn that I've made the decision.

She may need (more) time to get used to the idea. Or it may strain the relationship too much. Either way, I think it's up to both of you to decide how to handle this - you've chosen this job, you can choose to end the relationship over the distance or work to make the relationship last despite it. If she's yelling at you and calling you a liar, I don't think that's the best reaction.

I'm in your girlfriend's shoes at the moment - my bf may be moving to the US for a year+ for work. I don't want him to go, obviously, and he doesn't really want to be there (other than the work opportunity), but I'm leaving it up to him to decide what's best for him. If he were to decide to stay/go based on the relationship, as others have noted, that would likely kill the relationship due to possible resentment, etc. So he has to decide on its own merits. I do bug him from time to time for updates as to whether he's closer to making a decision, but I would never claim he lied to me if he decided to go.

Ultimately, it's up to you and your girlfriend to work out (or not). She could have a valid claim on the lying if you've been promising to move closer for years and are now moving (much) further away. That said, life happens, things change. It doesn't sound like you avoided moving because of her. If you've handled being a small distance apart for 3 years, you can handle more. Or not. It just depends on how the two of you act/react to events.

I told my girlfriend today...in our previous discussions she seemed like she wanted me to leave.  However, this time, she flipped out on me...arguing in line at a sandwich shop, saying I am a liar...I am running away from her, etc.  Now I'm even more torn that I've made the decision.

Sometimes we don't know what we have until we faced with losing it and then we freak out immensely.  It will be tough for your girlfriend. However, I still maintain that if its meant to work out ,it will.  It will either strengthen your bond or break it or have it fall somewhere in between.  However, I think you should talk her through your decision process and help her feel part of the process too.  Good luck- £70k! Wow!

I told my girlfriend today...in our previous discussions she seemed like she wanted me to leave.  However, this time, she flipped out on me...arguing in line at a sandwich shop, saying I am a liar...I am running away from her, etc.  Now I'm even more torn that I've made the decision.

I reiterate my post on unresolved existing issues.  This is never going to work if you don't sit down and talk through the issues you already had and talk about how you are going to commit to your relationship while in the UK.