Oh my gosh, Sara!
You are so lucky not to have bled out due to low platelets!
I am so, so sorry to hear the experience you've been through. I remember when you were pregnant and I kept thinking, I hope she has really good care from her midwives, she deserves it. Please believe me when I tell you this is very upsetting to me, especially since after I finish training as a nurse here, I will go on to get my midwifery training (was considering to do that in the U.K., but now, maybe I'll just finish here instead!).
I can just imagine how tired and exhausted you were while in the ward with lots of other tired moms and crying babies. This topic of private hospital rooms has been debated recently on another discussion board I take part in. It appears that many hospitals here do offer private rooms, first come first serve. Most of the time, there is an additional fee to pay, to ensure a private room. Some hospitals have undertaken to make all rooms private (though quite small). The hospital John and I took the childbirth preparation class has mainly shared rooms, unless you pay an extra fee. I know sharing a room with even one other person can be annoying and stressful, but I can't imagine it being any worse than a ward full of women with only curtains to separate them.
We had Jackson in a freestanding birth center, across the street from a Level III NICU hospital. That worked well for us, except since any woman who gives birth at the center is "low-risk," the longest she can remain post-birth is 12 hours. If I had wanted to stay longer, I could have transfered to the hospital after the birth, but then we'd have had to pay something like $800 for just one extra night's stay. Needless to say, we just opted to go home. But at least before we went home, we were left alone in the birthing suite, where John, Jackson, and I were able to get a 4 hour nap on the queen-sized bed. When I woke up, and had eaten, the nurse assisted me to the bathroom and helped me shower. We had Jackson at 7:37 a.m., and we were home by 7 p.m. that night. It was actually kind of nice being in my own bed. If we'd been in the hospital, I know I'd have been hassled by nurses coming and going all the time, and Jackson most likely would have spent a good deal of time away from me in the nursery. So, for us, it worked out. The only thing I wished we had, was more than the single home visit, two days later, by the nurse. It would have been nice to have the home health care here that the U.K. offers.
I'm really miffed now that you've told me how the doctors and midwives there are refusing to fix the tear. At least if my sister really wanted to have hers fixed, I know she could circumvent the military insurance (her husband is deployed in Iraq, so maybe that's why it's not an immediate concern for her right now, KWIM?). and pay out-of-pocket to have it done. If you'd like, I can ask my professors and/or the Certified Nurse Midwives at the Birth Center, to see if any of them either knows or can refer a good practice or OB in the area you will be moving to. I don't know what state you are headed to, but whenever your family arrives here and when you are ready to have the tear repaired, I can certainly inquire to find out if they have any recommendations.
Good luck, and I hope you smash ass on the phone Monday!
Rebekah
