Worst Thing About The Distance is When You're Having an Argument

Steve has said time and again that if he could read my facial expressions, it would avoid a lot of our petty arguments - I suppose that's what I mean. The entire communication process does require more thought and care because of the lack of the body language that makes up almost all of communication and sometimes confusion and misinterpretation results.

If my fiance or I aren't sure what the other person means, we ask.  If one of usunintentionally hurts the other person, the person who is hurt tells the other person and explains why they are hurt.  Then we talk about it.

 I don't expect my fiance to understand what I am thinking by the expression on my face or the tone of my voice. As a matter of fact, that can be misleading. For example, suppose  my fiance is upset by someone else, then it carries over when he is speaking to me and he speaks to me in irritated tone. I need to ask him why he sounds like he is angry at me,  then he needs to explain that he isn't angry at all and apologize to me for upsetting me.

I'm not trying to be judgemental, I just find communication is better when you can clarify things verbally.

I totally agree about the being face to face.  When I over there and then when my gf was over here, we rarely fought.  But it seems like we are totally different people when we aren't together. 

Right now we are in the middle of a big one.  Not exactly sure what is going to happen.  I'd like to say that we are going to make it, no prob, but I can't.  If we were together, this wouldn't be such a big deal, and there wouldn't be so much hurt on both sides. 

All my married friends always say the first year of marriage is hell.  The need to give this a shot.

wow...this is exactly what i've been thinking.

Adam and I had a HUGE argument this morning and I was crying and got offline then he called me and I cried and we talked about it and it still seems unsolved. It's like...things never get solved when you arn't face to face. Arguing over the phone doesn't really solve the problem and I think when distance is a main issue in your relationship then it makes everything else seem HUGE when it really isn't.

We haven't fought in months and then all the sudden last night we got into it and it really would have helped to be able to hug him or just know he was right there...it's so much less personal when it's over the phone/emails/msnger/text.

I completely agree.  My fiance and I seldom argue when together, facial expressions, touches, hugs, all help.  But even online, one of us will type something, most often as a joke, but without 'seeing' each other, we don't KNOW it's a joke.  We are just better together than apart.

I know EXACTLY how you feel...I just posted about it in girl talk in fact My fiance and I got into an argument about exes and he logged off and left...it hurts and its soo hard...and I dont know how long he will stay miffed and when he will come back so we can talk.

I hate this distance.... At least if we were together hed get no choice but to stick around and talk it out.

I'm so happy to see this today because things have been a little rough over the past week.  We have both been so busy and our conversations have been snippy and short.  We have had numerous misunderstandings and I know it's because we are both so stressed.  I leave on Thursday night and I know once we see each other on Friday it will all be fine.

I don't like to hang up the phone angry or with him cross at me...A million thoughts run through my head.  We made a promise a long time ago to never hang up on one another and I go and break that promise last week.  He completely deserved it and he told me so, but still this distance thing does nothing more than SUCK!