So much

Have you considered doing something special for someone else in honor of your sister for Chiristmas? We have a family friend who lost her husband and her child, and every year at Chirstmas she takes the money she would have spent at Christmas on them and either donates it, buys presents for an angel tree, etc, or a few years she's hosted families or orphans in her home and given them a Christmas they wouldn't have had with out her.

IME that's a really sweet idea. I've never thought of anything like it but what a nice way to remember your loved one at the holidays by helping someone else. I am going to mention that to my friend that lost her husband this year, maybe it will help her through the first holiday season without him.

Have you considered doing something special for someone else in honor of your sister for Chiristmas? We have a family friend who lost her husband and her child, and every year at Chirstmas she takes the money she would have spent at Christmas on them and either donates it, buys presents for an angel tree, etc, or a few years she's hosted families or orphans in her home and given them a Christmas they wouldn't have had with out her.

No, that's a nice idea. I'm sure we could do that next year but that's another thing we have no money even if we wanted to do christmas. Cemetaries and places like that know you want to burry your loved one so they want all the money upfront and they know you'll get it somehow. No ones working right now either.

reeeka -
I'm so sorry there is all this turmoil around you at the moment.  I happen to agree with a lot of what's already been said and can't think of anything more to say to you.  Please make sure you take time to take care of yourself.
Hugs to you!

See the thing is she's a psychologist...she should know how to handle death and her own feelings.

Unfortunately, it doesn't work like that.

Dealing with death on a professional level is not the same as dealing with the death of someone you know personally.

It's also true that you can't compare your Nana's grief to yours, but you can't judge how people should react to grief on the basis of their biological relationship to the person. Some people just react better than others in bad situations. And some people tend to lash out at others when they are feeling bad. That doesn't mean it's right, it's just the way people are, and once they get to a certain age, there probably isn't much you can do to change them.

Reeka, I'm sorry for all you and your mom are going through. The only advice I can give is for you both to maybe take some time out each day to meditate, exercise or do some other stress-reducing activity. Because, Reeka, you can't change the way that other people are, but you can change the way that you react to their behaviour.

hugs.

Edit: Just noticed you said you were going to go to grief counseling. I just did this and it was very helpful.

i agree that your nanna doesn't know how to deal with it, or she's just an attention getter. 
my grandmother said "don't let anyone in your house blah blah blah" because  apparently she had stuff stolen when grandpa died.  all she did was b**ch about when grandpa died.  grr
but anyway how r u doing now hon?