Okay, here's the set up. I've only been in the UK for going on 3 months. We rented a furnished flat in an area close to family so there were not many properties available, otherwise I wouldn't be living on the second floor. Anyway, I have a 9, 4, and 1 year old. The door does not shut from the flat to the top of the stairs so I use a baby gate for my youngest. We have a nice patch of land in the back with lots of trees and a huge flower bed, and it feels secluded and naturally the kids love it so do all the neighborhood kids.
Here's my rant. My neighbors lock their 4 year old out of their house (yes LOCK OUT because she goes in and out so much and they have cats they don't want loose). They don't let her play in her own backyard where there is a playhouse and a much bigger swingset. She can play out there sometimes but their dad doesn't mow and therefore she is only allowed to play on the sidewalk or at someone elses house. That's only the tip of the iceberg. Their 2 1/2 year old also goes around with her sister and since she is so young and doesn't know better, tends to take her trousers/skirt and her panties off and run around stark naked. Well, here's the deal. I have all BOYS. This is very uncomfortable for them and me especially. There are also times I have been checking on my boys and the little 2 year old is playing out in the street, usually without pants on. Seriously this happens about once every 10 days. The little girl is playing on the road with no supervision, sometimes unclothed for the most part. My husband says it's none of my business but I have gotten her onto the sidewalk before just as a car was coming around the bend. I could not handle emotionally if something happened to her and I knew it was a problem. All the other neighbors know it is a problem and just say that it is a lack of care by the parents and they were also concerned. I don't necessarily dislike these neighbors, but I don't want to have a bad relationship with them either because that would make things uncomfortable.
There are many boys around here and they all convene in my backyard. They do typical boy things like wrestle, sometimes hit each other, make things with sticks. Sometimes hubby and I break up the odd fight but boys will be boys, so I am okay with that. Everytime one of the girls is over, I get a play by play of everything the boys are doing. She'll knock on the door and I start doing something and she'll knock on the door again. One time she knocked on the door and I got to the top of the stairs and she knocked again, saying someone hit her. I said no one could have it you just now because you haven't even left the door step. I finally told her that's how boys play and I am watching everything they are doing so she can just go and play with them or go home. BTW, she is the worst offender for hitting them and of course if they hit back, everybody hears about how bad that boy is. I am SICK SICK SICK of it!
The girls insist on coming into our house eventhough we have told them only one friend is allowed in the house at a time. The other rule is that the parents must also give approval. We also ask our children that they ask us when someone can come inside, that way it's at our discretion. They come in depsite not being invited or having asked permission. They come up when my 4-year-old needs the bathroom and then go into his room and take his stuff. It takes me longer to get them out of my house than it takes for my kid to go to the bathroom and wash his hands. I could stand watch at the door and keep them out but I have other things to do with my time.
It's a second story flat and I am constantly opening the door because the little girls tattle on the boys. I just closed the baby gate when one of them knocked on the door again and said, "Someone in the garden stinks." Okay. That's enough! They have left the baby gate open and one day my 1 year old managed to crawl down the stairs and was on the top of the outside stairs. A few more minutes , had he managed to make it down, he could have been out the gate and on the street. I was cooking dinner and hubby was in the living room, so had I not paused from cooking it could have been tragic. One day I was doing laundry and heard noise in the boys room. I saw my middle child outside playing, my oldest was in school, and the 1 year old was in his high chair. Who could it be but the two little girls next door and the little one only had a top on, no pants, no panties no shoes. I quickly helped them down the stairs and out the door and through the gate. I told them to go home and get dressed then they can play in the backyard with the Aedan who was already outside.
Anyway, the mom is well aware of this little girl running outside naked, so why does she let it happen? One day the older girl started to do it and it terrified my 4 year old. He came in crying, "....won't keep her clothes on." I don't like this at all. I am to the point I don't want them playing with my children. It is not their fault that their parents aren't correcting behaviors that are not socially correct. The father even laughed the other day that it was good to have a full-time, free child minder living next door. I was like WTF?
I have three children of my own. I cannot be responsible for his too. On top of that, they knock at the door every 2-5 minutes or just let themselves in, leaving the front door and baby gate open. So it goes beyond the point that it's annoying it is also threatening the safety of my 1-year old! GRRRRR.
I have tried locking the door while their all playing but then my children get upset. Also, if I lock the front door and don't answer eventhough I know it's one of the girls knocking every 2-5 minutes (and I am not exaggerating, I've checked my watch), they just knock for ages.
Given all that do I just lock the door everytime my children are outside eventhough that makes me feel like a bad mom? Otherwise this situation is just out of control and I'm to the point I feel like I need to tell the other parents that their children can't play with mine anymore. That makes me feel sad but it is just too stressful feeling like I am watching other people's children including my own.
Sorry for the long rant. This situation has just made living here unbearable. It is so bad with these neighbors that the older woman who lives on top of them is rennovating her place to lease it out because of them.
