thanks for your responses, y'all. okay, so: questions:
she has irish and scottish ancestry, but it's at least a generation removed, so i'm not sure how that would help.... why do y'all ask? what options are there regarding that?
about the spousal visa: if we were both to go back to the US for a bit, get married, and amass over the amount needed for "support", would that matter, or would they need to see me currently employed at a job that makes that much? we don't have 401ks or property or anything. but you mentioned selling property, so is there simply a dollar amount of savings that they'd need to see that would work to tick the box?
because if i went back to the us briefly, i would immediately be making over twice what i've been able to earn here at any time, despite my best efforts. so it's entirely possible in four or so months to have that sort of money on reserve.
the relationship and housing bits are not a problem, it's pretty much the money.
also, do y'all know anything about funeral cost assistance? my dad fought in the RAF in WW2, and i'm wondering if there are any subsidies for burial/funeral costs associated with that. we have that in the US, but i don't know if y'all do that here.