KFDancer, you were mostly right!
We explained the deal to the UK border guards on the way out and the way back in and they didn't care at all. No holding pen, no telling off, they were super nice. They explicitly told us to not apply for a passport until after Italy, travel on our other passports and not worry about it. According to them, everything was on the computer and anyone could see that we are UKC and UKC can always come in unless you've just come back a summer with ISIS.
As far as I can tell, this is completely opposite to the government advice and advice from law firms on the web, but I'm not going to argue. For a while there, it looked like we weren't going to get to go to Italy and were going to have to let my daughter and her friend go by themselves and stay in the giant, expensive AirBnB.
France was lovely by the way. Moules frites, a proper waffle, a nice walk along the beach and home by 9.