OK, yet another travel question (I know, sorry :-/

This morning I was driving along and minding my own business, when I got hit by an idea, so simple I can't believe I hadn't considered it before.  I was thinking that I'd be 100% honest when I go.  If they ask, just say I'm going to visit my girlfriend and see how it is to live with her.  I'll explain to them that if things work out, Julie and I would go together to New York and apply for the fiance visa.  If things don't work out, I simply go back alone.  I'm only taking clothing anyways, and that way I wouldn't be involving other people in all of this, nor would I be misleading anybody.  I'd have my return ticket to New York to confirm my intentions of doing everything theway it's supposed to be done, and if required I can always phone Julie from the airport for them to confirm the reason for my going.  I think this may actually be the way to do things, but as always, I'm pestering you guys for advice about this idea.  Feel free to toss in the (occasional!) insult for being so annoying as well

You aren't annoying (at least to me).  I think you should be honest and up front.  For goodness sakes, Leland, you aren't doing anything wrong.  You are going on vacation with your girlfriend.  Why should it get more complicated than that.  Well actually I think the length of stay is the sticking point.  But I believe if you're honest you will have an easier time of it.  Another thing I would say is don't take any of this too lightly.  Not for dire reasons but just so that it stays as part of your memory.  You'll look back on this (maybe at the end of your visit even) and laugh at the memory of it.  Especially when you tell Julie about your experience while she waits for you.  Its all part of your journey to see her.  Good luck!

Being honest is always the best option.  I would recommend you check out Marlespo's story and Peedal's story though.  They were honest and while things worked out ok in the end, there were plenty of tears and heartaches to get there.  Just be careful.  go with your gut and you won't go wrong.

LOL, if you guys think I bombard a lot of ideas onto you guys, just imagine how many I bounce off of her.  We actually talk twice a day every day on weekdays.  I call her at around 12:30 AM my time to wake her up for work, speak for about a half hour, then I call her during my lunch at around 5:30 pm.  Talking to her is the highlight of my day, every day.  Weekends are always rough because of their unpredictability, but we usually manage to get in a few hours  God bless phone cards!  I doubt I could keep my tenuous hold on sanity if I couldn't hear her voice every day.  I guess I'm just a love junkie and need my daily fix
Once again, I aprpeciate the input you've provided me.  I think the issue of length of time would be adequately explained by simpling letting them know that we're seeing if marriage is what we really want, and to get a good idea of what living together is like, a few weeks simply won't cut it.  It would really be a huge weight off my back ifI didn't have to worry about not being 100% honest, or involving others in this.  I think that showing them a ticket with a return to New York, and not masking my intentions of doing everything the way it's supposed to be done, it would take extraordinarily bad luck for me to get a rough time from an Immigraion officer.

It sounds like a good plan in theory, I agree.  And in a perfect world, it would even work out, I'm sure.  But like Elle said, check out Peedal and Marlespo's stories.  They both did things exactly the way you are describing and had a heck of a time.  Peedal (and her two kids) got deported shortly after arriving....within a couple of days I believe.  And poor Marlespo had a terrible experience with immigration.

Bottom line is they won't like that you are even considering marriage.  If you're going to come over and be honest, I'd suggest you say you are meeting a friend or your girlfriend and plan on spending a couple of months together.  I wouldn't mention any of these wedding plans you have...you're asking for trouble, in my opinion!  

It sounds like a good plan in theory, I agree.  And in a perfect world, it would even work out, I'm sure.  But like Elle said, check out Peedal and Marlespo's stories.  They both did things exactly the way you are describing and had a heck of a time.  Peedal (and her two kids) got deported shortly after arriving....within a couple of days I believe.  And poor Marlespo had a terrible experience with immigration.

I believe in Marlespo's case it wasn't a question of they were worried about her getting married, but they were worried about her working here illegally.  In Peedal's case, the poor dear just got someone who didn't like her story.  

Actually - the Immigration Officer who interviewed us wanted to let us through - it was her meanie supervisor who NEVER even spoke to me who told her to refuse us.  I mean, I think the poor girl was as upset as we were... :-/  Okay - maybe not...

Anyway - I got chills when I read the initial post of this thread.  It sounded EXACTLY like what I did.  I was honest.  I mean, why get engaged when we had no idea if we could all live together like a family for more than 3 weeks at a time, right?  And we had been going back and forth for 1-1/2 years at that point.  We were coming to see if it was going to work - then if/when Phil proposed, I would be on the next plane to NY to apply for the Fiancee' visas and we would plan our wedding when we wanted and how we wanted.

Ha.

Aside from the fact that the Immigration Officer who interviewed me thought it was a perfectly mature, sound, rational plan - her supervisor apparently had a bug up his a$$ that day and thought me and my boys posed some sort of threat.  

Honesty is NOT always the best policy.  I'm going to repeat what others have said and suggest that you read mine and Marlespo's posts about our experiences with Immigration.

(BTW - we did get the wedding the way we wanted it, if a bit sooner than we would have liked.  We both would have prefered an Autumn ceremony, but settled for the first day of Spring.)  

Believe me, I've read both several times.  The thing is that as you yourself have said, it's not that anyone had a problem with your *reasons*, it's simply that the supervisor had not a broomstick, but a telephone pole up his/her buttocks.  I've dealt with those people on multiple occasions, and I'm convinced (and confident you'd agree) that whatever you said your reasons were to enter the U.K. that supervisor would have given you a hrd time regardless.  And that's the kind of situation you can only pray to avoid, because the rest of it makes perfect sense.  The reasoning is sound.  The evidence demonstrates intent to return to the U.S. and you're basically being perfectly candid as to what you're doing.  As I think Elles said, why should I have to devise elaborate plans to go visit someone???  I think this will be the way I'm gonna do it (at east until I post my next idea ) and I think that barring bad luck of the draw with the Immigration officer, I really don't understand how they can ship me back.  Anyways, cross your fingers for me?

I'll be a-crossin' for ya.  When do you plan to fly over?

I was honest, and that's why they nearly deported me. The *did* suspect I was going over to get married, but they also suspected I was going to look for employment. At the end of the day, all they have to do is suspect.

If you say why you're really there, to live with your girlfriend and see if you want to get engaged etc, I think you'll have a hard time. That's not what a tourist visa or passport is designed for, as unfair as it is. If you're going over to be with your love, and things are great, what's going to stop you from heading down to the local Registry Office and getting married? Nothing. And the people who will questions you will know that.

At the end of the day, it's a decision you have to make on your own. We're devided here obviously. I'll never think it's a good idea though, just because of what happened to me. I was honest, had the best intentions, was doing nothing wrong... but there was a lot of potential there for me to get around the rules and they don't like giving people that much rope.

That all being said - if I was in the same situation again, if I had to do it all over knowing what was going to happen to me at Immigration - I don't know what I'd do. My heart would say to take the chance and do it, but my head would say that being deported is too big a risk. I'd like to think that David & I, over a few more years, could have come to a decision to get married without having lived together, but I don't think that's the reality - so I had to do what I had to do - which is what you're doing. So I don't know.

And the thing you have to remember is that they DON'T need a good reason to send you back. They didn't have a good reason to send peedal back, she wasn't doing anything wrong, and they did. They didn't have a good reason to detain me for so long and harass me & David so much, but they did. Immigration has it's own rules, and all they have to do is *suspect* you'll be hedging the rules or doing something you shouldn't, and you're on the next place out. I felt safe resting behind the "I'm not doing anything wrong!" theory - but they didn't give a toss. You don't have to be doing something wrong.

I'm not trying to be a big scary jerk here, I'm really really not - and so I'm just going to shut up on the whole matter because hopefully, for you, things will turn out brilliantly and they'll just let you through no problems. I really hope that's what happens for you. I really do wish you the best of luck - and totally sympathize with your situation.

Seems to me you're pretty set on spending your lives together, so why not either get the fiancé visa and marry in the UK, or have Julie fly out to the US, marry there and go to the Consulate to get the spousal visa!  

..... I really don't understand how they can ship me back.  Anyways, cross your fingers for me?

Sorry to say this Leland, but your understanding is not necessary.  The reality of it is they can and they will ship you back...if they don't like what you say to them.  

At any rate, my fingers are crossed for your good luck in this matter.

Seems to me you're pretty set on spending your lives together, so why not either get the fiancé visa and marry in the UK, or have Julie fly out to the US, marry there and go to the Consulate to get the spousal visa!  

Squirrel, you said exactly what I was thinking!  

Seems to me you're pretty set on spending your lives together, so why not either get the fiancé visa and marry in the UK, or have Julie fly out to the US, marry there and go to the Consulate to get the spousal visa!  

Correct me if I'm wrong, but I think the thing stopping them from going this route is that they haven't met in person, which is a requirement for a fiance visit.  

Believe me, I've read both several times.  The thing is that as you yourself have said, it's not that anyone had a problem with your *reasons*, it's simply that the supervisor had not a broomstick, but a telephone pole up his/her buttocks.  I've dealt with those people on multiple occasions, and I'm convinced (and confident you'd agree) that whatever you said your reasons were to enter the U.K. that supervisor would have given you a hrd time regardless.  And that's the kind of situation you can only pray to avoid, because the rest of it makes perfect sense.  The reasoning is sound.  The evidence demonstrates intent to return to the U.S. and you're basically being perfectly candid as to what you're doing.  As I think Elles said, why should I have to devise elaborate plans to go visit someone???  I think this will be the way I'm gonna do it (at east until I post my next idea ) and I think that barring bad luck of the draw with the Immigration officer, I really don't understand how they can ship me back.  Anyways, cross your fingers for me?

Hell, if you're willing to do this even after hearing about what happened to Peedal, I almost hope you do get deported!

Am I the only one here who never encountered any hostility or problems with immigration officials?  Hell, even when I came in with my fiancee visa, the guy just looked at it, stamped it, yawned, and said "Welcome to your new home.  NEXT!"