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Topic: Dear Fellow Employees  (Read 801 times)

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Dear Fellow Employees
« on: June 23, 2005, 01:21:42 PM »
It has been brought to management's attention that
 some individuals throughout the company have been using
 foul language during the course of normal conversation with their
 co-workers. Due to complaints received from some employees, who may be
 easily offended, this type of language will no longer be tolerated. We
 do however, realize the critical importance of being able to
 accurately express your feelings when communicating with co-workers.
 
 Therefore, a list of "TRY SAYING" new phrases has been provided so
 that proper exchange of ideas and information can continue in an
 effective manner.
 
 1) TRY SAYING:
 I think you could use more training.
 INSTEAD OF:
 You don't know what the f___ you're doing.
 
 2) TRY SAYING:
 She's an aggressive go-getter.
 INSTEAD OF:
 She's a ball-busting b*tch.
 
 3) TRY SAYING:
 Perhaps I can work late.
 INSTEAD OF:
 And when the f___ do you expect me to do this?
 
 4) TRY SAYING:
 I'm certain that isn't feasible.
 INSTEAD OF:
 No f______ way.
 
 5) TRY SAYING:
 Really?
 INSTEAD OF:
 You've got to be sh--ing me!
 
 6) TRY SAYING:
 Perhaps you should check with...
 INSTEAD OF:
 Tell someone who gives a s--t.
 
 7) TRY SAYING:
 I wasn't involved in the project.
 INSTEAD OF:
 It's not my f______ problem.
 
 8) TRY SAYING:
 That's interesting.
 INSTEAD OF:
 What the f___?
 
 9) TRY SAYING:
 I'm not sure this can be implemented.
 INSTEAD OF:
 This s--t won't work.
 
 10) TRY SAYING:
 He's not familiar with the issues.
 INSTEAD OF:
 He's got his head up his a__.
 
 11) TRY SAYING:
 Excuse me, sir?
 INSTEAD OF:
 Eat s--t and die.
 
 12) TRY SAYING:
 So you weren't happy with it?
 INSTEAD OF:
 Kiss my a__.
 
 13) TRY SAYING:
 I'm a bit overloaded at the moment.
 INSTEAD OF:
 F___ it, I'm on salary.
 
 14) TRY SAYING:
 I don't think you understand.
 INSTEAD OF:
 Shove it up your a__.
 
 15) TRY SAYING:
 He's somewhat insensitive.
 INSTEAD OF:
 He's a prick.
 
 Thank You,
 Human Resources
There are two things in life for which we are never truly prepared:  twins.


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Re: Dear Fellow Employees
« Reply #1 on: June 23, 2005, 05:12:08 PM »
Oh, I'm printing this one out....to share!  ;D
I was born in the Summer and at Night...my mother named me AUTUMN DAWN.  True story.

Jamie's...beyond the stars and past eternity.

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