Separate or Together?

A bit of another discussion got me thinking.

How do you, or plan to, work your finances if/when you are married?  Do you combine everything in one big pot and it's all community funds?  Do you have separate and joint accounts?  Do you have strictly his stuff and her stuff?

I'll tell you my own slant on things, but it's just my opinion and nothing more.  I think it's interesting to hear how others handle money and what works for some and not for others.

I believe that when a man and woman are married they are no longer operating separately.  I/we take that "one flesh" thing pretty seriously.  What's mine is his, what's his is mine.  Essentially it's all ours and we discuss what we do with it.  Yes, we will have our own little slush funds, but the bulk of it will all go into a joint account that we will manage as ours.  What I bring with me into the marriage is no longer MY STUFF - it becomes our stuff.  Same for Simon.  Same with our debt - I assume his, he assumes mine - we pay it off together.

I don't want any territorial separation between my husband and me.  It's not how it's supposed to work - in my mind anyway.

~Liza

I have to agree with you Liza, but for different reasons.
To us as a couple, what's your's is mine and what's mine is yours, we share and share alike.... everything including money.
 To me that's just what love does..

I'll tell you my own slant on things, but it's just my opinion and nothing more.  I think it's interesting to hear how others handle money and what works for some and not for others.

I believe that when a man and woman are married they are no longer operating separately.  I/we take that "one flesh" thing pretty seriously.  What's mine is his, what's his is mine.  Essentially it's all ours and we discuss what we do with it.  Yes, we will have our own little slush funds, but the bulk of it will all go into a joint account that we will manage as ours.  What I bring with me into the marriage is no longer MY STUFF - it becomes our stuff.  Same for Simon.  Same with our debt - I assume his, he assumes mine - we pay it off together.

Thank goodness that's just your opinion! 
It wouldnt work for us at all.... we keep everything seperate, and we prefer it that way.

I don't see anything wrong with having seperate accounts. It doesn't mean you don't share resources but people who are compatible in love aren't necessarily compatible in financial matters    We have a joint cheque account but I still have a separate savings account which is our "rainy day" money.

What's mine is his, what's his is mine. 
~Liza

No no no! This *should* read: "What's mine is mine, what's his is OURS"

Yeah the saying is "ours" but I think she had it right the first time 

We have separate accounts, but our savings go into one shared account.  I pay the grocery bill and will occasionally help with others and he pays for everything else (because he makes more than I do!).

i like how we do it.  Our salaries go into one pooled joint account.

Each month we get an allowance (£50 a week transfered into our personal savings accounts).  this is for spending outside of us as a couple-haircuts, shoes, eating out with friends etc.

We have a 'together' fund- £65 a week-which we use to dine out and go to movies or plays together.

then we have the groceries etc.

the rest goes to bills, savings for the future and a travel savings fund.  If we don't spend our weekly allowance, that's our choice.  it goes into our individual savings accounts to be used for gifts or a big ticket item for ourselves.

it works for us right now as we still have some stuff to pay off for the next year or so......

David and I have a joint account......

But we do have a separate account to put money into for holidays and such........but rarely does anything go into with 5 kids all over the age of 13.....phew........lol


What ever he wants he gets and what ever i want i get.........as long as the money is there.......for us we don't believe in division.......we both work...he does make more than I do but as the head of the household he says he should......he doesn't spend anymore than I do......but I think what ever sitiuation you have yourself is what is right and works for you...there is no right or wrong........


Kind like having kids early or late in life........no right or wrong.........

We have a joint account for all earnings.  DH also has two ISAs he's had for yonks and I have a separate bank account.  We also have separate credit cards. 

It works for us, we weren't 'established' when we married and have a young family. 

But I know it's deffo not for everyone.  Everyone has his/her reasons for that if it works for him/her that's brilliant. 

Kind like having kids early or late in life........no right or wrong.........

Ah, but MeShell, I for one wish I'd been able to have children a little earlier - say 26.  I certainly don't have the same energy level I had then. 

The rearview mirror is always 20/20 and circumstance put a few obstacles in the path, however. 

We are still figuring this one out.  When I came over here, I had nada to contribute to the 'pot' -- and I've not worked (other than the odd temp job here & there) since the end of March '04.  When we went to put my name on hub's bank accounts, the bank recommended -- for the sake of credit approval (though we don't have any credit cards there ) -- that hubs keep his individual account portfolio that he already had & set up a joint checking/savings as a separate (but connected) thing.  So that's what we did.  To me -- it's kind of confusing though for our budget because some things are getting paid out of his sole account & some are getting paid out of our joint account & neither one of us has a good handle on that bit which I don't think is good.  Plus hubs has to remember to transfer money every month into the joint account to make sure the mortgage is covered, since his check is going to the sole & nothing is funding the joint other than regular transfers.  Too much hassle!

Once I start working (TBD soon), my check will probably just go to the joint account b/c that's the only account I have over here.  Ideally, I think we'll end up pooling things -- but with each of us having a private stash so that we can keep gifts & surprises for each other 'under wraps'.  Once I'm bringing in regular income, I think we'll get it sorted out.  Hubby isn't opposed to pooling -- it's just a hassle (in his mind) doing all the paperwork & spending hours on the phone with customer service centres trying to get everything switched over from the sole to the joint, etc.

Oh & I still keep my own checking account with a few $$$ in it and a credit card account open in the US, because I have a couple US bills still to pay and sometimes it helps when we are traveling in the States.

carolyn, we still have some bills being paid out of his account as well.  so every month ON payday we transfer what is left over from leaving the bill coverage bit into the joint account.  once you get used to it, it's easy.

his are all pretty much non chaning bills so i guess it's easy.  then i estimate on phone bills etc that still come out of there.

mostly it's his debt coming out of 'his' account still.

We've got a joint account and separate accounts my salary and his goes into the joint and a percentage is transfered into our own accounts.

All bills are paid from the joint and any silly spends (festivals , trips , parties) come from our own account.

carolyn, we still have some bills being paid out of his account as well.  so every month ON payday we transfer what is left over from leaving the bill coverage bit into the joint account.  once you get used to it, it's easy.

Good advice -- thanks!  I think hubby & I just need to get more organized about it & we are both so lazy.