but alas...
i'm going into my last year of my undergrad and my b/f-a year older- has just graduated this May. He will be two hours away from me. best of friends and in love for a year, dating since january. He's currently applying to grad schools for 06/07 year in ireland, wales, the uk. i'm considering spain, greece, italy, the netherlands, and the uk.
I know my anticipated worries are a year away but i'm not sure how to bring up the possibility of us going to grad school together. we're both independent people and we have awsome communication. we have a very strong relationship... but the subject of grad school seems to remain silent.
We both agree that the relationship is going somewhere serious...and we're constantly talking about traveling together and discreetly (forgive my spelling i'm sleepy) about settling in ireland.
so long story short i guess i'm asking advice on how to breech the subject. going to the same school, going to different schools and different countries...me taking time off and working just like he is doing....*quite confused by it all*
Hmm that's a tough one -- what is your situation? Are you in the US now and you are both thinking of studying abroad? I'm a little bit confused.
I think that grad school is one of those decisions you really need to give a lot of thought to. I took 2 years off between my undergraduate and graduate degrees to work for awhile, and try to gain some perspective as to what I wanted to do with my life, what my best path would be. In the end, I studied for a year in Scotland, and it turned out to be a really good decision. I was able to fulfill my goal of studying abroad, while getting a Masters degree and putting myself on a new career path.
One thing I would caution against is making a decision based entirely on a relationship. I've done this myself, and you can end up losing yourself in the process. It's one thing if you and your bf are keen on the same uni, or course program. But if you find yourself picking a school you wouldn't have thought of if he weren't in the picture, etc. try to stop yourself and look at the whole picture. You're only young once, and you have to live your life for you, so you won't have any regrets. If your relationship is really strong, then a year studying in separate places should make no difference. Long-distance sucks, but if you're committed to it, then it's just a small obstacle in the grand scheme of things.
Another thing to keep in mind that all of the countries you listed are in Europe. You can get very cheap flights a lot of the time, and you'd probably be able to visit each other a lot more often than you think.
Not to mention, grad school can be very stressful -- it's possible that if you study at the same university, and have the responsibility of a full-time relationship while you're tackling a demanding course-load at the same time, it could put strain on your relationship. If you studied separately, at least the time you spend together would always be "quality" time.
Anyway, just some food for thought. Perhaps you could broach the subject with your bf by saying something like, "I've been doing a lot of thinking about grad school lately, and I'm finding it really hard to decide. On one hand, I'd like to be close to you, and think it would be great to study near each other, but I also really like "X university" in "X country, and I'm concerned what this could mean for our relationship" Then ask him what he thinks, and to share his feelings on it. Maybe you could both make a list of pros and cons and try to come to some sort of solution. Perhaps he's as scared to broach the topic as you are.
Good luck with your decision!
