Newbie checking in for requisite whine...help!

Well I guess I've lurked here long enough and finally decided to join up and seek some kinship.  :-/ I fear this will deteriorate into a "whinging" session (see...I'm trying to adapt!), but I'll try not to bore you in the process.

I have lived here for about 10 months now; married to a native Londoner since April '03 and officially on my Settlement Visa since then. So you'd think I'd be ok by now...acclimated and all. You'd THINK.

I did come into this with eyes wide open and knew it would be hard being away from friends and family for the first time in my life. Heck, it's my first time ever living outside of Southern California! But I found the living, breathing man of my dreams...the man I never believed I'd find and the man who I would follow to the ends of the Earth if need be. And that man makes me happy to be alive every single hour of every day...just wanted to get that confirmed first!

But I never thought it would be THIS hard. I have always been a workaholic, with tons of friends and all my family within close distance. I was fairly successful in my career, independent, active and addicted to my SUV. Now I have no friends, no car (can't drive hubby's stick shift...lame, I know), no job and pretty much no life.

The one bright spot in this dreary existence was the discovery, upon returning home from our wedding and honeymoon in the States that we were expecting! It was truly a honeymoon baby and we couldn't have been more thrilled (or surprised). I had planned on looking for a job now that I had my visa, but with this new condition upon me, I decided not to.

Well, just as I thought I was sailing through with relatively few problems, I went to my 11th week scan only to find out that the baby was only the size of a 5 1/2 week pregnancy. They advised me not to panic, but scheduled a scan for the following week to check the progress. It turned out to be unnecessary. Just a few days later I hemorhaged so badly, that we had to call the paramedics and I was rushed to the hospital. After a HORRIFYINGLY painful hospital stay, I came home and proceeded to cry for weeks on end over my miscarriage.

So that's where I am now. Just add "and no baby" to the list above.

And it's so freakin' expensive living in central London, we can't afford a trip home for a while. Hubby works his butt off just for us to get by (£1300/mo rent for a rabbit hutch...I swear!).

I'm just holding on for the opening of Harrod's Krispy Kreme at this point.  

So I apologize for the length of this rant...but seriously...things HAVE to change for me. So this is my first step to doing that. I have finally come to grips with the fact that the Mexican food sucks (when you can find it), Sex and the City is a month and a half behind the US (we just downloaded it from Kazaa instead) and I can't just hop in my car and pop over to Nordstrom's (whose employees I wanted to positively embrace for their customer service when we were home last). I'm determined to somehow make this work.

Any ideas on how to do that???

Until then, thanks for listening and I hope to be an active poster in the future. Heck, I have nothing else to do...

Brooke

Gosh I just don't know what to do but give you a big old hug! What a rough ride you have been having!  I am so sorry to hear about the miscarriage and I am right with you on the stick shift thing!

I am still in the USA but I know these wonderful ladies will have some great advice as they always do.

In the meantime have you checked out the events section?  They are getting together this month and maybe you can get out to meet them.  

Here's the link: http://www.uk-yankee.com/cgi-bin/yabb/YaBB.pl?board=club;action=display;num=1062344489

Best of luck and feel free to vent!

Aww Brooke I'm so sorry. When I was reading your post all I could think was I wanted to give you a big hug.

I hope things get easier for you and you're able to adjust to life in London. I'm living in Texas so not much help as far as advice for adjusting to life there but the ladies here in the forum are really great and I know they will help you in any way they can.

Welcome to UKY and I hope to see more posts from you in the future.

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Brook}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}  Warm cuddly welcome hugs.  I'm so sorry to read of your loss.  I've had 2 miscarriages myself and understand the pain of that loss.  Kudos to you for taking charge and taking steps to heal your pain.    Welcome aboard!  Check out the gathering this weekend at Hyde Park and come along if you can!  there's a great group of folks going to be there!

Hi Brooke.  Welcome to the site, and big hugs to you from me too!  (((((Brooke))))

Your post sounded so familiar!  Aside from some of the details, the feelings you are having are incredibly similar to those of mine a few months ago.  I've been here in London for 2 1/2 years now and acclimation has been a steady, unsure thing for me for most of that time.  

You've already done the best thing you can to make this easier for yourself....you've reached out.  There's lots of us here that can say, oh yeah, been there!  Done that!  And it really will help you to know you aren't alone.  

I have to constantly remind myself that I married my husband who happens to live in this country...I didn't marry the country!  I don't *have* to love it, but I do have to get by in it and find a way to be happy with my life.  It isn't a fairy tale life in London...no matter what people back home think!  

There's plenty of us in London and we get together pretty frequently, both through this site and informally.  We'd love to have you and your hubby along to the Hyde Park Picnic on Sunday, if you can make it.  We're a very friendly bunch!  

And if you can't make it Sunday, I'm always around and up for coffee or a wander through a market or bookshop or something.  How long has it been since you had a good girly gab with a friend for an afternoon?  Bet it's been awhile, huh?    

Anyway welcome to the site and hope you keep posting!  This place has been the key for me feeling like I belong here at all, and there are lots of wonderful people here who will understand what you're going through the way no one else can.

Hope to see you soon!!  

I just wanted to add a welcome to the site- I am new here as well and can attest to how warm and welcoming these forums are- well the people behind them are!

I also wanted to espress how sorry I am for your loss.  Such a terrible thing can be so much harder to bear away from family and friends.

welcome and I do hope you can find comfort and solace here- knowing that you are NOT alone.
mary

Hi Brooke, I too am so sorry for your loss.  We seem to be a good mix of people that are over in the UK and some of us who are in transit and making our plans.  One thing you can count on though is we are all here to try and make life a bit easier whatever the situation.  Welcome to the site.  Seems you've joined at a good time too with an event in Hyde Park.  I really hope you go and enjoy yourselves.  Please write and tell us how it was.  Those of us who can't join those events really love to hear about them.

And it's so freakin' expensive living in central London, we can't afford a trip home for a while. Hubby works his butt off just for us to get by (£1300/mo rent for a rabbit hutch...I swear!).





Brooke

Welcome and sorry to hear of your troubles Brooke. Yea, I guess living in Central London certainly does cost a packet huh? My step-daughter was working for the Princes Trust down there a few years ago and eventually had to give it up because of the rents. Here's hoping things start looking up for ya.

Thanks everybody! Wow...you guys are really supportive and amazingly sweet! I can't tell you how much your posts meant to me.

I'm going to talk to hubby when he gets home from work tonight about going this Sunday. It sounds like a great idea and will be a good chance to at least get out of the flat for once! I've become such a hermit.

I do have a funny story for today though. We had a woman from our estate agency come by to do some kind of inspection on the place this morning (I guess they want to make sure we haven't painted the walls black, suddenly set up an indoor dog-breeding kennel or some such thing). She and I got to talking and she told me how I was so nice and outgoing...I obviously couldn't be British (no offense)! Turns out she was Turkish and had lived here a while, but found it very difficult to make friends. The ones she had made were apparently from everywhere BUT the UK. It ended up with ME consoling HER!

Gotta love how life laughs at you every so often...

Thank you sooo much for your kindness and I hope to get to meet some of you Sunday!

Brooke isn't that just the way huh!  But I bet you still felt better for making HER feel better.  lol

Hiya Bruinbrooke..

I'm glad you found this site cause its a god send when we americans are so far from home..

I'm sorry you are feeling down and I know exactly where you are coming from, (seeing as I am too a S. Californian and too from San Diego)

Cheer up! If you even need to have a chat feel free to IM me anytime as we do have that native cali thing in common too. I'm truly sorry about your whoas  :-/  I wish I was magic so I could solve all the worlds problems..

Anyhoo feel better and Ya'll can always move up north here with us little people ..   hehehe.. seems likes theres many more Americans down south for some reason ..

ps: where abouts are you orginally from in SD ?

Take care and speak too you soon.. Feel better..

BIG HUGS

Brooke, I am so so sorry for your loss.  That's a terrible thing to have happen, and I'm sure it's even harder to deal with when you're away from your family and friends.
But I agree with everyone here...they're a great bunch of people and they can/will help you.  Stay with us, we're a fun group!

And about the car...trust me, if you love to drive, you'll *love* driving the stick once you get used to it.  It might actually be easier for you to learn now because you haven't got used to right-hand shifting (I'm terrified of relearning it left-handed, personally).  I didn't know how to drive stick until about 3 years ago, but now I adore it and my new automatic van drives me nuts sometimes!
Good luck!

Brooke, *big hugs*
Do keep your sense of humor...that's really all the suggesting I can give. Things will fall into place if you have the attitude to accept them. (And I think you do.)

[smiley=hug.gif]Brooke

I'm so sorry to hear what happened, and like the others here, I can attest to it being somewhat trying to live here at times.    Everyone else has really covered everything, but I hope that you can make it to the picnic tomorrow...matter of fact, I'm gonna make two batches of brownies since so many people are coming now lol.  So I can't make London better, but I can offer insane doses of chocolate!  

I live in the greater London area (out near Heathrow), but I'm more than willing to head into town and do a bookstore crawl (or subways, or japanese food, museums, whatever. hehe), so if Wish hasn't booked up all your time, gimme a yell and I'll see if I can distract you for awhile.  

Welcome to the site!
wench

Well, looks like hubby and I are definitely going tomorrow (and it may have been the brownies that clinched it there wench!)...woo hoo!!

But for those of us who have never met any of you lovely ladies (and gentlemen), how will we know who's who? Should I wear a "Hello My Name Is" tag...or just a big flashing "Newbie" sign? Hmmm...

Well if you see someone looking confused, it's probably me!

Thanks again everybody!