The future of your children

I am trying to convince my husband to move to the UK.  I am italian and I want to be closer to my family plus right now we live in Los Angeles and it is so expensive so if I have to pay so much money in rent at least I want to be in Europe.

So anyway.  He is so concerned that our children will miss out on opportunities and in being able to go to a good college and find a good job etc......

I think that it doesn't make any sense.  But he is worried.  If we move it would be for ever. 

All of you that live in the UK and are going to be there for ever.   Do you ever think that your children are missing out on opportunities or not at all?  What can I tell him to make him realize he doensn't have any thing to be worried about?
Thank you
Marilena

My seaven year old son has gotten a great education while being in the English school system.  I do not think your son would be "missing" out of the USA life, may give a more international outlook in life, which will benefit him forever.  There is good and bad in every country....

What can I tell him to make him realize he doensn't have any thing to be worried about?

That the most important thing you can give your children is your time and your love. That it doesn't matter where in the world you live, there are different sets of opportunities - good and bad. That there are happy well-adjusted, social, friendly, healthy, confident people who are happy with their lives, families and jobs on both sides of the ocean. That if you raise them and love them and nurture them as parents, they will find their opportunities no matter where they are.

That the most important thing you can give your children is your time and your love. That it doesn't matter where in the world you live, there are different sets of opportunities - good and bad. That there are happy well-adjusted, social, friendly, healthy, confident people who are happy with their lives, families and jobs on both sides of the ocean. That if you raise them and love them and nurture them as parents, they will find their opportunities no matter where they are.

Really well put....

I think a child's future lies in those who care about him/her teaching him/her to respect himself and others enough to create his/her own opportunities.  Self-resepct, respect for the Earth and her creatures, personal responsibility, learning to make one's own decisions and accept their consequences, and think for oneself.  These qualities aren't exclusive to growing up in any one place. 

I think it's sensible to think about the pros and cons.  There are differences, that's undeniable.  It's a different culture.

There is a lack of free/cheap sports.  There isn't the sporting culture in schools.  If you want your child to play basketball on the school team or be a cheerleader you're not going to find that. 

Schools are very good, and tend to push children academically.  There is also a big emphasis on the arts-music, drama, art.  Children are encouraged to be creative. 

I think their is every opportunity for your child to go to a good University. 

I also think there are fantastic cultural opportunities here.  There is always something to do with children.

My kids are growing up in the UK.  I don't have a problem with the primary schools in England (they are great) but I really want them to go to a US high school.  I think the education they will get there will be more well rounded.  I think they streamline things a bit too much in the UK and aren't tough enough on the kids.

I am actually happy with the elementary school my daughter is going to but I would prefer for her to go to high school in Europe.  What i really don't want is for them to decide they want to come back to the US if I like it more in the UK.  So I want them to find a good University there and a good job and find their own family there etc...
I am of course thinking 20 years from now since my daughter just started 1st grade.   I have beeing very unhappy here  not because of the US but because of how far I am from my family.

I don't have kids but I do worry about when I do and this issue of schools. From my perspective now, I think the UK system pushes kids to make a choice about what they want to do too early. It's normal to see kids of 16 working full time and not going to school b/c they couldn't decide what a-levels to pursue whereas in the US they'd still be in high school. And uni is only 3 years so again, a push to get it over with. My husband had a very hard time as a result of this 'process' and I haven't seen any evidence it's changed but I fully recognize that I'm only an observer at this point.

Kids need to have the support of their family in making decisions for their future.  Here in California the rate of kids that drop out of High School is actually pretty high.  They have no support from their family or they have parents that are selfish thinking about themselves only.  It's our society unfortunatly.

And uni is only 3 years so again, a push to get it over with.

This is only for those who chose to graduate with an 'ordinary' rather than an honours degree, and is becoming increasingly less common, especially as more and more people go to uni.  I work in an undergrad dept., and have only seen one student graduate with an ordinary degree in three years, and this was due to extenuating circumstances.  All the rest graduated with honour and took or 5 years to do it.

This is only for those who chose to graduate with an 'ordinary' rather than an honours degree... All the rest graduated with honour and took or 5 years to do it.

That might be the case in Scotland, but in England a uni student can, and the majority of the time does, complete an honours degree in 3 three years.  Even a double honours degree can be completed in that time.

pcb

That might be the case in Scotland, but in England a uni student can, and the majority of the time does, complete an honours degree in 3 three years.  Even a double honours degree can be completed in that time.

pcb

That certainly isn't the case up here.  People in Ulster, any ideas how it works up there?  Anyone go to Queens?

Kids need to have the support of their family in making decisions for their future.  Here in California the rate of kids that drop out of High School is actually pretty high.  They have no support from their family or they have parents that are selfish thinking about themselves only.  It's our society unfortunatly.

Yes, but with all due respect, I think that's apples and oranges. The drop out rate may be high where you are there but I'm sure that you as a parent can deal with that with your own child. What I'm saying about England is that I believe the system pushes you to make career choices far too soon and it is also perfectly acceptable (though not encouraged obviously) to NOT pursue education after 16. I know several bright , intelligent kids who are not in school now because they just don't know what to do with themselves. And what I didn't point out is that if you DO take a break, you may well spend a lot of your time, once you get back into the system, having to explain WHY you took this break and what you did with it.

My husband is a funded PhD student now. Clearly not exactly unintelligent. He's worked in full time employment in his field as well as pursued more education but until recently he STILL had to account for the time he wasn't in Uni or a field related job way back in his early 20s (he's 35 now).

Basically what I"m saying is I believe the American system to be a bit less rushed for decisions to be made about a child's future. To me a 16 year old has no business not being in school so I find it hard to look entirely favorably on a system that even allows that.

Just my 2p.

And to get back to the 3 year thing... my dept at Reading used to be one of the few 4 year programs but they recently bowed under pressure and are now 3 years. So Scotland is definitley different.

On the other hand, I sort of like it that there's not so much 'if you don't go to uni you have no future at all whatsoever' here.  Going to uni straight after secondary school definitely isn't for everyone.  I went and it was a waste - I wasn't mature enough to have figured out what I wanted to do in a career.  I'd have been better off w/some quality vocational training and working for a while. 

Going into a trade appears much more of an option here, and that's no bad thing. 

I know where you're coming from, Marilena, as a mother, there's always that constant thought process of, 'Is this best for my child/children?' that guides all your major life decisions.

But to keep in perspective, as you are an EU national, if you try it here and don't find it to your liking, or that it suits your family, there are other options open to you.