Baby name question

I had a little cousin die of SIDS 7 years ago and her mother asked me if I would name my first daughter after her.  I was 14 at the time and did not understand how serious the situation was.  I told her that I would.  Now that I am having my first child(and I don't know the sex)I called her ex-husband, who is my blood relative to ask him how he felt about it.  He got very upset with me and told me that I should have never agreed and don't have the right to call my daughter Nyela.  I had no idea that he would be so hurt and upset with me.  I don't know what to do.  Do I keep the promise to someone that is not my blood relative that I made when I was a child or do I respect my blood relative and not name my daughter Nyela.  I feel an obligation to both as I don't feel as if his ex-wife is not family because I have known her since I was born and she is still very much apart of our family.  When I went to America in June and she saw I was pregnant she told me she hoped it was a girl and I would name her Nyela.  I feel as if I can't win no matter what I decide.  Apart of me feels like he doesn't want to use the name because he wants to hurt his ex.  Even though I was 14 when I made this promise I did mean it and I do feel like it would be an honor to name my daughter Nyela.

I'd go by what YOU feel is right, this is YOUR child.  It sounds to me like you're having second thoughts about calling your child Nyela.  Well, this makes sense to me.  You were only 14 when you made this 'promise'.  I think any rational adult would understand, and if they don't that's really sad.

You were 14 when you made that promise and, frankly, I think it's a little creepy that your aunt put you under that obligation when you were only a child.  Name your baby what you want to name it!

I agree with Lola. That's too weird. Name the child anything you want.

Why don't you name the child what you want after all if it is a she - she will have her own personality ! But in a way to keep your promise to your Aunt why don't you keep Nyela as a second name ! That way maybe both sides can be happy !

Congrats on your pregnancy.

Why don't you name the child what you want after all if it is a she - she will have her own personality ! But in a way to keep your promise to your Aunt why don't you keep Nyela as a second name ! That way maybe both sides can be happy !

Congrats on your pregnancy.

This is what I would suggest as well. 

I agree with making Nyela a middle name, if using it at all.  I wouldn't feel as if you are under any obligation to keep a promise you made when you were 14, and under emotional circumstances.  It's unfair for her to put that kind of a guilt trip on you to name your baby after her deceased child.  Having a new baby should be a happy event, and should not be shrouded in sadness.  It's one thing to name a child after a deceased relative like a grandmother, or cherished aunt, who made an impression on your life.  But naming a new baby after a child whose life ended tragically?  IMO, it's inappropriate.  Not to mention just a wee bit creepy.    

But naming a new baby after a child whose life ended tragically?  IMO, it's inappropriate.  Not to mention just a wee bit creepy.    

I agree. 

I agree with a couple people here. You were 14 at the time.you were still a child, she shouln't have came to you and put that much pressure on you.
Name your baby what you want, you shouldn't feel obligated to name her  a certain name. Its your baby not theirs