wedding wierdness and full time move

hi all! sorry to be a bit of a pain but i have a few questions for you all. i spent the summer living in england with my fiance and had a lovely time but had to return to the states to finish my masters.  as the wedding draws ever nearer and my final move to the uk becomes permanent i am finding an uneasiness coming over me. so basically, i am wondering if anyone has had a similar situation. . . i.e. a taste of living in the u.k. with a return home before the full move. did your feelings change? was the final move easier or harder than you thought? i guess i'm just nervous now that i've had the ability to see the small differences between the uk and usa and am afraid that i will not get over the absence of 24 hr walmart and quick trips to the shops in my pjs. i dunno, any help would be appreciated.

sorry to ramble on, but has anyone been married in the uk? are the differences really as big of a deal as they are starting to feel?  :-/  i guess i'm just looking for tips from those lovely people who have travelled before me!
thanks,
amanda

Hi Amanda,

These things do pass. First couple of years I felt like I could never live with the store hours here. Then I just adjusted. The next couple of years, everytime I went back to the US (ave: 3x per year) I felt completely overwhelmed with choice and definitely saved some shopping time to get the 'latest and greatest' gizmos. Now, about 5-6 years later, having just gotten back from a long-weekend trip to the DC area, it felt like there was nothing new. Shop hours were no big deal because I was used to the more confined hours so just automatically planned around them. And stuff? Not much new. Not much that can't be got in the UK nowadays. Foodwise, okay, and did bring a bunch back, but how long does it last? I found myself missing the UK things, especially the TV!

There are 24-hour stores and open times for others are getting better. It's a combination of making adjustments in your life and changes coming to the UK at the same time.

I actually did better BECAUSE we came back to the states before we moved over again.  It gave me time to come to terms with the things that upset me before.  And I realized that if I chose to make this move, it's up to me to make the best of it.  (The first time I felt more like a fish out of water -- more like a victim.)  I'm doing MUCH better this time!!  I'm just making conscience decisions to adjust.

thank you!! your thoughts are true to life and the realism makes me feel secure here!!!
thanks again,
amanda

Hi Amanda,

I've just been over permanantly since June (I was married in Sept. here in the UK to an Englishman).  I am finding myself missing some things (especially Target!!) but nothing that really gets me down.  As Lisa and Lisa said above, the hours are an adjustment and not having some of the gizmos but I'm also starting to find it refeshing that I don't feel the need (or have the choice due to lack of shelf space) to stock up on large quantities of dry goods as I did when in the US.  In some ways, my life has been simplified and I find I'm saving money!   One place I miss terribly is TJ Maxx although I know there's TK Maxx here...haven't made it there yet.  I'm only hoping it's the same as back home!!!  

I really cant add anything else,except that you will adjust fine,in spite of all the butterflies in your tummy
 On the store issues,I agree that I got used to the hours etc....The only thing that I was really disappointed with was the one WalMart there :(LOL,since Iam a Wally world fanatic I will miss my Wally world thats for sure,when I go back .
                            (((Hugs)))
                                 Rhia

hi all! runner 1,  you said that you were married in the UK. . . did you find any of the small differences a challenge in the planning. right now, my family and my family to be seem to have very different views of what a wedding ceremony and reception entail. any tips?
thanks.
amanda

One place I miss terribly is TJ Maxx although I know there's TK Maxx here...haven't made it there yet.  I'm only hoping it's the same as back home!!!  

Hi Sandy, as a TK Maxx fan myself pleased to tell you that it is the same! I was very surprised to find a TJ Maxx last time I was in Orange and even more surprised that like here it is the best place for shoes!

Amanda - good luck with your move & wedding plans - what are some of the differences in expectations?  

Liz

well. . . i've been told that the differences are really small, but after my mr. came with me to my cousin's catholic wedding he sure noticed them! i also felt the differences when attending a civil ceremony in england this summer.  basically, the wedding seems to be much more of a party in england and much more serious in the states. i am trying to navigate the open bar discussion right now. my mother thinks its appauling not to have one, but i can't imagine footing the bill for an open bar at an english wedding. oye!! drinking practices are different.

anyone else seeing differences?

amanda

Two of my kids have been married in England and I've handled the open bar question in this way. Settle on a figure (both times it was 150 quid) give it to whoever's running the show behind the bar, and when it runs out then everyone's on their own. Depending on the amount of guests and where the reception is, its usually enough to get in a round or two. Family and friends appreciate the gesture but understand that footing the WHOLE bar bill for an entire afternoon or evening could break the bank. Worked for me......

hi all! runner 1,  you said that you were married in the UK. . . did you find any of the small differences a challenge in the planning. right now, my family and my family to be seem to have very different views of what a wedding ceremony and reception entail. any tips?
thanks.
amanda

Hi Amanda,
Sorry for the delay in my response...just saw it!  There were some differences in making the plans...mainly little things my fiance made me aware of...but nothing that was really a big deal.  However, we had a small ceremony at the registry office (we've both been married previously) and a dinner/small party at a local restaurant/pub.  The main difficulty I had was finding a wedding cake that wasn't a fruit cake.   We wanted a regular sponge type which is not that common for weddings here.  Hopefully someone who had a bigger reception can give you some more tips.

-Sandy

hee hee! thanks Sandy! i know, i know, this fruitcake thing has become a bit of a mystery to me, i suppose it'll just come together eventually!