Is the UK *truly* your home?

It's a rarity to post here twice in a day, but I have just discovered a rather provocative question that maybe some of you can identify with (or not too :

Just a little background:

I am from a Native American family that was heavily colonised by both the British and the French. Even though we have moved beyond what could traditionally be called the colonial era, there is still a pattern of thinking and cultural practise that nearly pays homage (I do say this with a grudge) to the assimilation of white ways.

One of the things that I have learned through out my life is that because of a colonial heritage, I identify with the British, especially British asians and others of colour, much more than say mainstream Americans.

What I am getting at, is that for me England has always seemed like home, the country I was meant to live in. It would be a folly to pass this off as romanticism, without considering what I have just told you. Also, without considering first the sheer power of human instinct about what is right.

My question for you all: Has England just seemed like a more viable option, how many of you really consider the UK home without a second thought?

Is that instinctual fo you too?

cheers,

Samantha***

Ps I realise how hegmonic this post must sound...

One of the things that I have learned through out my life is that because of a colonial heritage, I identify with the British, especially British asians and others of colour, much more than say mainstream Americans.

Can I just ask why you identify the British.  It just seems odd if you've never been here that you would identify so strongly.  Have you met many British people in real life, have you met British Asians?  Do you not feel like you're stereotyping people to identify so strongly with a culture you've never lived in?  I am genuinely interested in this.  

As for me, yes England is my home.  But that's because I live here.  I've lived here for many years.  My family is here.  My home is here.  My job and my freinds are here.  That's why it's my home.  

Given the way my adult life has gone, one thing I've learned is that home is not necessarily relative to geography.  You know the saying "Home is where the heart is".  I believe that to be true because I've experienced it.  

That being said, my heart is here and therefore it is my home.  At the same time, I've lived in dozens of places that had my heart in it and were therefore home.  

I can't explain why I'd always wanted to come to England. Maybe it was the Beatles. When I was 12 they were the coolest things on the planet. But I liked what came with them as well. I liked the accents and the clothes and the music and what I percepted the "feel" of England to be.

And this feeling never left me.

I spent 20 years of my adult life in Florida. It wasn't really a choice for me...my parents retired there and I joined them when I finished college. And then just stayed. But it never felt home.

Cut to me being here. Now that I have six years under my belt (of living here, that is), I look to "home" as being not a country, but an area. Melksham, where I live, is home. Florida, where I used to live, was never home. As for countries I feel "at home" in either the US or the UK, because they both have elements of familiarity, no matter where I go. If I am in England, I can go into a Blackstones. In the US it's a Barnes & Noble. In either, it's a Borders.

As for heritage, I've got a mixture of French (from the 800s) and English (added 1600s), Welsh (added 1700s) and American Indian (added mid 1800s). Did this tie to Britain have an impact to how I felt about always wanting to live in England? Well, I do go about this area and think to myself "my ancestors did this here" or "they used to live there"...but true facts fail me; it's more a "feeling". But I can't say that I was pulled here because of it.

Actually, I blame my upbringing. My father was a daredevil adventurer and we lived all over the world. Kept me from being myopic. So while friends thought it was odd that I would just pick up and move to England, my family thought nothing of it.

But is it home? More than Florida ever was! ...but that's just my take on Florida.  

Hi everyone!

Thanks for the responses so far!!

Can I just ask why you identify the British.  It just seems odd if you've never been here that you would identify so strongly.  Have you met many British people in real life, have you met British Asians?  Do you not feel like you're stereotyping people to identify so strongly with a culture you've never lived in?  I am genuinely interested in this.

Very good question. What I did not deliberately state in my inital post is that I was "raised" Hindu. That is to say, both of my parents coming from a Catholic background (Mom-standard Roman Catholc, Father-Colonial "convert the heathens" Catholic.) ultimately rejected the structure and dogma that is the a lot (not all) of the Christian church(es) and decided to expose my bother and I to other faiths--we choose what we believe.

Now, while in many instances it is correct to say that just because someone is raised within a particular religious tradition does not mean that they have a lot of familiarity with the traditions/culture--however it really is quite different in Eastern faiths like Hinduism and Sikhism where the lines of what is a devotional practise and what is a social more/cultural practise are *extremely* ambiguous.

Though genetically I am not Desi (that't the term we can use for south Asians here) if one has lived within the community, speaks the language, and is very conscience of certain mores/expectations etc etc as I have; the variances between sub-communities regarding religion, social behaviours, interaction with other sub-communities and assimilation (Ie: North Indian Sikh Punjabis/ South Indian Tamil Hindus) are very real and apparent.

Therefore, I can tell you guys in all honesty that what I feel and know is not based off sterotypes. What are the commonalities then  you might ask? Well, understanding the patterns of South Asian migration to England--the fact that most sub-communities were (are) marginalised because of their colour and "foreign" culture they tended to find mobilisation with afro-carribean communities and others of colour. This is the "black movement" which at its orgins has a lot to do with being former colonial subjects--as my people were.

For myself, of course I realise that inevitably being American does set some unbreakable binaries with many British communities, but I too tend to identify with the rationale behind the "black movement" being a former colonial and of colour  especially as I progress further in my life and begin to prepare myself for intergration into British culture at large and come closer marriage--most likely to a South Asian man.

This pattern of south Asian migration did not occur in America as most of the Desis settled here came after the 1965 immigration act and are of "professional" class status which made it very odd if not impossible in some ways to identify as of colour. As a whole it seems that this "coming together" means of indentification with others never seemed to happen and that is a big reason why I find myself alienated with American culture sometimes.

In this big tangled web things actually do start to come together.

This is a short explanation on a really heavy topic!

Have I met British Asians and others from England? OF COURSE!!lol Here at the University a couple of my desi friends have family back in England or are say Trinidadian Indian and thus have that real sense of "colonial distance" which is basically understanding your ancestry but having never been back to the European/colonial halves (like myself.) One of my closest friends is a British born Gujarati guy living in London. Also, I have a couple of white British exchange student friends and my University mentor married a Brit and has had so much valuable information to pass on to me, so I know what to expect in/from England. Back home at temple, many of the older people can remember the days of the British Raj--isn't that amazing!

As for heritage, I've got a mixture of French (from the 800s) and English (added 1600s), Welsh (added 1700s) and American Indian (added mid 1800s). Did this tie to Britain have an impact to how I felt about always wanting to live in England? Well, I do go about this area and think to myself "my ancestors did this here" or "they used to live there"...but true facts fail me; it's more a "feeling". But I can't say that I was pulled here because of it.

I am going halves with this one on you (hehehe) I am pulled to England because of that right feeling.

Home is where the heart is,

cheers,

Samantha**

 That's an easy one for me..  My home is in NY in the US of A as well as my heart.  There **could** be one other place perhaps that I can identify with and that is Rome (where I went to school).  I found living there much easier perhaps it's because I'm Italian and that's my heritage and that's how I was raised..  It's more than likely.  That's my take on it - a very simple one for me.

This pattern of south Asian migration did not occur in America as most of the Desis settled here came after the 1965 immigration act and are of "professional" class status which made it very odd if not impossible in some ways to identify as of colour. As a whole it seems that this "coming together" means of indentification with others never seemed to happen and that is a big reason why I find myself alienated with American culture sometimes.

I'm sorry.  Perhaps I've misunderstood you here, but are you saying that professional blacks/Asians/etc. cannot identify themselves as or identify with "people of color" because they are professionals?  And that because of their income or sociological "professional" status they do not identify with "people of color" and that alienates you from American culture?
Could you explain this a bit more?

And to answer your question, I have always been very strongly drawn to the UK, its history and people.  My first visit there 5 years ago felt like coming home, a feeling I have not had anywhere but my hometown and certainly don't have here, in the hellhole that is the state of Florida.  I was in love the minute my plane landed.

Does that have something to do with my Scottish and Biritsh grandparents?  Perhaps...but then, my maternal grandmother was Yugoslavian/Austrian and I don't have a deep identification with Austria (although I do like the song "eidelweiss"-does that count? )

I think I am getting what Rezidesi means on that SAF, so I should let her explain in more detail. Doesn't stop me from having a stab at at  

The mid '60s brought an insurge of people who were given an opportunity they wouldn't have had otherwise. They grouped en masse and settled in communities which they made their own. Later, when individuals came, probably refered to as 'professionals' because of the ability to come through Immigration on their own merit (they had a lucrative income and ability to contribute to society better because of their skills), they tried to settle in their newly adopted country. Since the early immigrants were already settled and had their own community, it wasn't necessarily that easy just to join in. Besides, the 'professionals' may have much in common with their newly-formed co-workers. I mean, don't we all tend to hang with the people we work with?

I think I can come up with a for-instance. Local man, the next town over, owns a couple of Indian restaurants. He's extremely active in the professional community...I see him at the Federation of Small Business meetings, for instance. Very much admired and recently received an OBE¹. I don't know when he came to this country, but he might be one of these professionals Rezi's speaking of. To put it bluntly, merely to make my point, he's the only person 'of color' in this professional group, but he's treated, and acts like, very much a part of this group. Oh, the OBE? He got it because of his charity work...he spends countless hours raising money for the abused women in India. So, just because he doesn't always 'hang' with his own kind, doesn't mean his heart and soul isn't with them.

SAF, had to chuckle at your 'hellhole that is the state of Florida' comment! Maybe you, peedal and I should start a club.  

¹ Officer of the British Empire, member of a British order of knighthood, although this rank does not confer knighthood.


modified to explain what an OBE is

My take on Florida is the same as SAF and LisaE.

England is my home.  And right now whilst I'm in Florida visiting, all I can think of is how much I want to go home...

When I'm in England I feel at home, but miss America.
When I'm in America I feel at home, but miss England.
Since it will, I suppose, always be this way, I'm glad at least that I feel most at home wherever my husband is - no matter where that is.

I don't and have never had a home.  I hated growing up in the middle of Iowa--was convinced that Hell was a corn field.  I then left home at 15 and began travelling.  I have lived in most of Europe and Southeat Asia. There are snippets of home that I have encountered here and there--the Himalyas in India, the ocean in South Africa, the Gower Penninsula in Wales, the colourful maddness that is Calcutta and London.  I tend to get itchy after about a year and start to wander again.  

I love my husband dearly but he is not home.  While I do agree that home is where your heart is, I think that the physical environment and the community are also very important to feeling a sense of being home.

Kat

mmmmmmmmm i think its the following lisa, The Most Excellent Order of the British Empire (1917) - in two divisions, military and civil. The most widely awarded orders.   Also the only two grades in this order deemed to be a knighthood is when its confered as (knight or Dame Grand Cross)

Ah, thanks for that, waterg. Didn't know what the letters had actually stood for, so I looked them up, and copied and pasted, to give everyone else (plus me) a better understanding.

Whereas I don't live in the UK yet, I can say that I've ALWAYS been drawn to Europe from a young age.  I can't really explain it, but my parents have said since I was little that I would be their world traveler and so on.  Perhaps it's because I come from a family heritage that is 100% German American and we are very proud of our background.  We still keep many of the traditions, and a lot of that stems our German heritage in our religion as well (Lutheran).  

My first trip to Europe was in high school and it was to Germany for about a month's time.  I fell in love with the country instantly and knew that I had to continue speaking the language.  One German major later, a semester lived in Germany, and 3 trips to Scotland so far, and I'm even more in love with Europe than before.  I love the history and culture there (I was also a European history major), but I also love the US.

You see, I think you can have more than one "home."  I feel most at home around people I love and who love me, but if it came right down to it, I guess I'd say I'm more at home in Europe.  For me, it's because my interests and studies have revolved around that continent.  Besides just a general interest in the UK and Germany, I have formed personal bonds and relationships with people in both places, which always makes me feel at home.  Just my two cents...

Hi Everyone!

Thank you for the varried and very honest responses. I am sorry that I couldn't get respond sooner---its the last weeks of the semester over here and that means finals---argh I am so nervous about my Human Rights Law Final!!!

Just a couple of things I thought were thought provoking too:

Florida: I have to agree its an odd state. I have been there at least ten times (my Mom is a Disney freak ) and while I absolutely love the weather (including the intense humidity in the summer) the big disparity between "clean" and "dirty" enviroments and "rich" and "poor" was unexpected. For instance, I was surprised how run down some of the housing was in Tampa Bay.

Kat: 'I love my husband dearly but he is not home.  While I do agree that home is where your heart is, I think that the physical environment and the community are also very important to feeling a sense of being home."

That is a really interesting quote, because its the first of its kind in the responses I have seen to this topic. At this point in my life I tend to agree because being away at the uni in another state and whatnot kind of forces an individual to distance themselves from their family, and to say the least with the parental breakup I am not always sure its an enviroment I want to go back into. :'( Though, like most people here I will always keep them close and hope to start my own family far from now .

Also you  have been to Kolakuta too? I am a bit jealous, though I am set to spend spring of 05 in Jaipur. Has having gone to places like India and South Africa changed  your outlook about British "multicultural" society substantially?

Krissybelle: I am wondering if at some point in my life I might also develope a complete love affair with most of continental Europe too! I can definately understand your love for Germany given your ancestry. My Mom's paternal side is German too--though they are south German Catholics.

What was your specific focus or theme as a European history major? These days what I am studying is decidely (at its root) non-European unless its colonial. Nonetheless, I can think back to AP European History in high school and I particularly loved the reconsccience (sp) and "age of enlightenement" though it wasn't always easy to digest the immense impact things like the Spanish Inquistion had on the "New world" and Indigenous peoples.

Sara: I hope you are feeling fantastic these days! [smiley=sunny.gif]

SAF: Good Question!!!  While you probably aren't interested in a big time Sociological answer. What I can tell you in plain terms is, that it's not that most South Asian Americans can't identify as of colour---they *won't.* To make a very bold statement: nothing is worse than being dark-skinned or of "dark" blood in many SA subcultures. This has a lot do to with old colonial modes of thinking (Which ultimately placed the lighter melanin individual as closer to the ruling party genetically and socially) and internal preferences. For instance, regarding the Hindu caste system the lighter Aryans were the Brahmins (priests/learned individuals) darker skinned communities usually of Dravidian or South Indian stock were Sudhras (Labourers) or at very worst Dalits (Untouchables.)

Colour based attitudes have definitely had their place in the diaspora too. Except, it is often found that outside of the home country immigrant communities become even more paranoid about colour/caste/status differences given that the majority population of their new homelands can't even tell the difference between say who is a Brahmin or Dalit.

So not identifying as of colour is often a mechanism of defence, economic superiority* and mobility and a means of attaining "whitness." Also, for females in particular, having whiter skin is a sign of beauty and for that reason nobody wants to be thought of as coloured. Like my friend here at the university who I love dearly but cannot go one day without telling me at least half a dozen times: "I am pretty light for a north Indian, don't you think?" I have just stopped responding though I would really like to say: "No you're brown, what's wrong with that?"

Sorry, this is a really short explanation to an incredibly rich and complicated topic.

cheers,

Samantha***