Stress, stress, stress!

First, I'd like to say I'm new here.  I've been looking through this forum for literally hours now, so my head is spinning with all the threads I have read so far!

I guess I should explain my situation before I jump into questions, and I hope you all bear with me as I go through it (you all seem nice enough, so I don't expect too much hounding...if I'm going about this wrong, let me know!).

I've been researching what it takes for international marriage for awhile now, but with so much stuff out there, I of course find a lot of contradicting information, so I thought I would give this forum a shot, seeing as everyone is or has gone through the same thing   Personal experience seems to shed the most light on any situation, I think.

So, I met the man I am with now back in 2001, online, on a message board.  We hit it off, and I visited him for the first time in 2003 for 3 weeks.  Since then, he has visited me 3 times (3 months in 04, 5 weeks at christmastime of 05, and 3 months this time--he is actually in the next room right now, haha), and I have visited him one time in addition to my first, for 3.5 months summer of 05 (so that makes 2 visits total for me).

Our situation is this: we were engaged last summer (at the seaside in Cleethorpes, how sweet is that? hehe...anyway!), so obviously we plan to get married (DUH).  I am going to start my last year of college (uni) this fall and will be graduating in May 2007 all things going well that is!!), and my fiancee is going back to the UK in two weeks, unfortunately to no job because he quit his previous one right before his vacation, seeing as his co-workers were treating rather badly, though that's a different story--so he will be in search of work as soon as he returns.  We have no marriage date set, and are in no particular hurry to rush into a wedding, though we want it to be within the next 2 years or so.  I have no immediate job plans/offers for directly after graduation at this point in time, and we are both willing to move to the other's country, though things keep leaning more and more towards me (the US citizen) moving to the UK to live with him.  This is where my questions come in:

1)  Because I am unsure of my job situation after graduation, I have been considering working under the supervision of BUNAC for 6 months in the UK (a work abroad program, which I have seen mentioned by people on this board).  Do you think it would be a good idea to do this before deciding where we live, so I know what it is like to work in the UK before I up and move there?  Would the experience be good, or would it make a difference?

2)  With that in mind, which country is it easier to move to/get visas for/get citizenship for?  From the sounds of things, it looks easier for me to go through the process of moving to the UK than for him to go through the process of moving to the US.

3)  With regards to visas/marriage:  I have read a few topics on this, and it has gotten me royally confused.  I read that it is possible for him to come to the US as a visitor and get married here without a fiancee visa--is this true?  If so, I assume it is only if he is going to go back to the UK to live?  From the sites we have found, it says he has to have a K1-fiancee visa in order to come into the US and marry.  Anyone who can clear this up, please do!  I assume it is a very bad thing to say at immigration that he is intending to marry in the US if he has no fiancee visa, so how can you get around this without getting in trouble?

4) Frequent travel:  I read a thread about people being detained and/or being sent home/refused entry, and this has me worried, since I plan on visiting him for my christmas break this year.  I have only been over there twice within the past 3 years, so do you think I'll have any problems?  The only time I did have problems was the first time I went and said I was visiting my boyfriend.  As soon as they heard we met online, I was told to sit aside for further questioning after everyone else went through--they hounded me about why I was there, how we met, where he worked, what I did, how I knew it was a "good"/safe idea, if my parents knew I was there (I had only turned 18 six months beforehand)--then he was called up to answer questions as well, and then I was let through.  The next time I went (which was for longer), I had absolutely no problems.  He has never had any problems, even when he says he's visiting his fiancee.

5) $$ troubles:  Being a student, I have piled up quite a bit of loans, and I need to start paying them back next year.  Does anyone know anything about moving to the UK when you still have loans to pay off in the US?  Does having loans make the process harder, or, dare I say it, impossible?

--

I guess that is it for now.  Sorry for so many questions, but I need answers, and you all seem helpful.  I thank anyone who actually reads through and answers any question, in part or whole, in advance.

THANK YOU!!

--Mandy

I can answer the marriage in the US question.  If you intend to marry in the US with the intent to return to the UK to settle you do not need a K1 visa.  I have read about people bringing proof that 1) they have something to return to in the UK (leases, letter from employer, mortgage statements) and 2) they are getting ready to apply for a UK settlement visa. 

If you're engaged and ready to get married, from what I've read, it would be easiest/cheapest from the immigration standpoint to get married in the US and go directly to the spousal visa.  However, whether you and your fiance would happiest living in the US or the UK is another question entirely.  My husband and I have done the US finance visa -> conditional permanent resident -> permanent resident route and are now in the process of getting me a spousal visa so that we can move back to the UK.  All of that is just to say that both ways are doable, and the immigration process will only take a very short time, relative to the rest of your lives that plan on spending together. 

Thank you for your quick reply   I am just worried that something would happen if he were to say at immigration that he plans to get married.  I read that people say to just tell the IO that he is on holiday and get married anyway, but that doesn't seem like too good of an idea :-/

My personal feeling is that you should never lie to people who hold your future in their hands.  Especially if you don't intend to break any rules in the first place.   

1) I think your idea of doing BUNAC seems like a good plan.  That way you get to spend time together and you'll get a more accurate feel for whether the UK is the better place to be for you.

2) UK process is waaaaay simpler and quicker hands down.

3) K1 is only for people coming to the USA to marry and settle there. 

4)  Be prepared and be honest.  Both of you should bring proof of ties to your home country such as lease, schedule for following semestrer etc.  I used to always bring a print of my email from my manager approving my time off.  That way, in case either of you gets questioned you can show your intent to return at the end of the visit. 

5)  Well I had almost $15k in old credit card debt when I came over on my fiancee visa.  It's a pain to pay from the UK but it didn't affect our application at all. 

Just wanted to add in my thoughts on BUNAC - I arrived Tuesday on BUNAC in order to spend more time with my boyfriend. I am taking a term out from uni in order to do so, but will be finishing July 07. I highly recommend BUNAC as it appears you are in a similar situation - - we are planning a wedding in summer '08. We don't want to rush the wedding but want to legally spend time with the other as well. So I will be doing BUNAC twice - now, and once more after I graduate next summer. Then move onto the fiancee/spousal visas.

Though I have just started the job search process, BUNAC have been very helpful thus far, and I am hoping will provide me with some good UK work experience to put on my CV as I am eventually planning a permanent move to the UK. I studied abroad last year in London so I already know about life/cultural differences in London but I figure learning about work differences (plus having UK experience) will help me even more along!

Thanks everyone for your replies--things are starting to clear up.  I think I will always fear the chance of being refused entry no matter what I do, but I guess all one can do is accept that it comes with the territory 

I do have a question concerning BUNAC for supercarrie though, seeing as you are using the opportunity for much the same reason I would.  Are you staying with your boyfriend while working there, or are you staying separately?  I would like to know the chances of being able to live together while working there, as it'd be more convenient than living apart and travelling to see eachother while I'm there (though seeing each other in the UK is so much easier than traversing the pond! :-D  So I would be fine not living with him--just a nice thought )

though seeing each other in the UK is so much easier than traversing the pond! :-D 

Hehe, that's so true.  I'm going to grad school in Manchester, still an hour away from my boyfriend, but I'm so excited to be *only* an hour away that I can't wait!

5) $$ troubles:  Being a student, I have piled up quite a bit of loans, and I need to start paying them back next year.  Does anyone know anything about moving to the UK when you still have loans to pay off in the US?  Does having loans make the process harder, or, dare I say it, impossible?

As far as I know, you don't have to declare debts on visa applications.  At least I have not encountered any questions about debt on the forms I have looked at.  I suppose it could come up at some point in an interview.  But I think as long as they are satisfied that you can afford to pay them, it should not hurt you.

I suppose if your loans are huge and your expected salary is not, that could be a problem.  But simply having loans should not make things hard or impossible.

Thanks everyone for your replies--things are starting to clear up.  I think I will always fear the chance of being refused entry no matter what I do, but I guess all one can do is accept that it comes with the territory 

I do have a question concerning BUNAC for supercarrie though, seeing as you are using the opportunity for much the same reason I would.  Are you staying with your boyfriend while working there, or are you staying separately?  I would like to know the chances of being able to live together while working there, as it'd be more convenient than living apart and travelling to see eachother while I'm there (though seeing each other in the UK is so much easier than traversing the pond! :-D  So I would be fine not living with him--just a nice thought )

I am living with him, which is one of the benefits of BUNAC versus other "students abroad" programmes in the UK. The BUNAC programme allows you to work/live anywhere in the UK (you don't live in housing provided by them.) Although they provide assistance in locating housing, it is completely up to you to make those decisions! It has made it quite easier, much cheaper on the rent to do it that way too!

Sounds awesome, thanks carrie   BUNAC seems more and more like a good idea.  Work experience in the country and more time living there definately sounds like a good option to me before just moving and hoping for the best.

Best of luck to you, btw, hope you are having a good time!