Going through phases?

While some of you guys were in LDRs, did you ever start to have doubts and insecurities? I dont know if this goes by stages but I've been feeling like he is not into me as much as I am, or just wondering if we will be together or not. We don't have an everyday comunication and so we have been sending letters and cards to each other and I was getting 2 letters every week from him and I have not received any in like 12 days... i know I know ...I am a drama queen and should be patiente....silly me, but the point is that I am not even sad that I haven't but actually upset..I feel like a witch, I can't even drop a tear when I think about how far we are,but I love him very much and can't wait to see him again. I am also having doubts about how commited he is, he has always been a drifter and I am not sure he will settle at some point eventhough he assured me that if we decided to take the relationship to the next level, he will love to settle and be a family.
So is this a stage? Is this part of the different emotions ppl who are in LDR go through? Is it bad that I won't cry? Can it be that I am just accepting the situation?   

sincyn - sorry you are feeling that way.  Keep your chin up!  LDRs are not easy. There are lots of us here that are going this or have been through this.  I think everyone is different on how they deal with being in a LDR.  I have a full range of emotions some days and others I forget that we haven't seen each other in a long time.  IMO a successful LDR requires a lot of open communication.  We share everything just as we would be doing if we saw each other all of the time.  If you have doubts about his commitment to the relationship I think that's something you should discuss.

I don't think it's bad that you don't cry...What do you feel you should be crying over? Missing him?  I don't cry about that either.  I miss him every day, but it's a fact of the relationship that I have to accept in order to live my life.  I wouldn't be any fun if I was weepy all the time...Who wants to be around that?! 
Good luck!

It could be a stage...it could be your relationship.  Only you two will really be able to know.  We had a thread a little while ago about the "Ebb and Flow" of the LDR.  So ups and downs are definately something most of us go through. 

Can you start working on a plan to live together?  Even if the plan is that you won't be able to live together for 5 years it might make you both feel more secure and like you're making progress. 

Good luck.

Thanks for listening guys!

I think I will just open myself up next time when he calls (hopefully soon) and just let him know how I feel and also ask how he feels. I think one of the reasons why I feel this way is bc we went from talking everyday, emailing etc to just letters or cards that we both get a week or more after we wrote them. A good thing is that he is going back to the UK in September and we will be able to talk more often and that gives me more security, I guess the everyday communication and knowing how the day was, etc and just being able to communicate make things better.

sincyn - sorry you are feeling that way.  Keep your chin up!  LDRs are not easy. There are lots of us here that are going this or have been through this.  I think everyone is different on how they deal with being in a LDR.  I have a full range of emotions some days and others I forget that we haven't seen each other in a long time.  IMO a successful LDR requires a lot of open communication.  We share everything just as we would be doing if we saw each other all of the time.  If you have doubts about his commitment to the relationship I think that's something you should discuss.

What do you feel you should be crying over? Missing him?  I don't cry about that either.  I miss him every day, but it's a fact of the relationship that I have to accept in order to live my life.  I wouldn't be any fun if I was weepy all the time...Who wants to be around that?! 
Good luck!

I used to get very emotional when I received a letter or card from him, thinking about him, etc, but I think I am at the stage where I know I can't do anything about being apart.....at least for now....and just dont get too sad anymore... An I agree, life will not be fun being crying all the time

Thanks again!

Cynthia

When I first got together with df, I was really unsure where this was going.  I honestly didn't think the "dating thing" would last that long, but that we'd stay good friends.  But when I came over for this past Christmas, he said he looked at me and that was it.  And I could see how much he cared for me, which didn't really come through in the emails, ims, and letters.  It was kind of a break through time together.  Like others said, lay out your concerns.  I know I learned to not cry because I missed df in my long distance relationship.  I always did right after I'd seen him, but after a few weeks, I was back in my daily life, doing what I had to do.  I was fine, but that didn't mean I loved him less, it just meant I was back to being used to him not being around.