What are my options (if any) at this point?

I have been feeling overwhelmed and depressed for a while now and I finally got the umption to make an appointment to talk to one of our clinic's GPs about it.

Basically she said she wanted me to go for counseling but neglected to mention that it would be at my expense (so not an option for us right now). I called and spoke to the practice manager today and was told she could book me in with another doctor, but that the guidelines for the prescribing of antidepressants made it unlikely that I would get that kind of help. TBH I can't imagine being able to force myself to go cry in yet another doctor's office about how difficult I am finding it to cope with life right now, especially knowing there is basically nothing they can do for me.

Does anyone know if I am willing to pay for an antidepressant myself if the doctor would be more likely/willing to prescribe them? This is making an already difficult transition to the UK so much harder.

I appreciate any advice anyone might have about options I might have under the NHS (which I obviously don't understand)

I'm so sorry you're finding life to be difficult right now *hugs* Did she say that there is no counseling available at all on the NHS, or just that it would be a really long wait?  I'd like to know how mental health issues are dealt with under the NHS as well, so hopefully someone will chime in soon with more info.

TexasEx, you CAN have counselling on the NHS, it's just there is probably a waiting list for it and you are limited to a certain number of sessions.  I know this because a friend of mine recently had NHS counselling when she split with her long term partner.  I can't imagine why your GP would tell you that you can't have it. I would certainly go back and see a different doctor.  I am so sorry you are having problems getting them to help you.  Also, check around your local area for private counselling practices, some of them may offer sliding scale rates depending on income or if you live in a University town you may find you can have counselling with a final year student very cheaply.

I'd try to book an appointment with a different doctor if I were you. I actually made an appointment yesterday for the same thing. The doctor gave me a short 10 question thing to fill out. I returned it this morning in an appointment with a nurse practitioner and she gave me a prescription for Prozac on the spot because of my score on the questionaire.

Definitely try to book an appointment to see someone else about if you can. I'd even go as far as switching surgeries if I had to.

Thanks for the support - it's much appreciated. I know the questionnaire you mean - unfortunately nothing like that was suggested. I was in tears in the office and tried telling her how I felt at times barely able to keep up with my responsibilities but. . .

I was told by the practice manager that there is no NHS counselling available from our trust. It just infuriates me that I have asked for help (which was not easy!) and have been told "We can't provide you the counseling, and our guidelines mean you wont get the only other option out there."

I'll have to figure out if I can get the umption to schedule a visit with a different doc. . .

thanks again

Further update in case it can help someone else in the future. After a horrible night - our marriage is on the brink - I called the surgery again in tears. The receptionist got me an emergency appointment with another doctor and he was great. He pulled out the questionnaire (which BTW I got the impression from him is something they are required to do if depression is suspected so that other doctor just really pisses me off even more in hindsight) and said that although counseling can be helpful, that sometimes the brain chemistry needs a boost and he's given me 30 days worth of an antidepressant and I'm to see him again before they run out to see if they are working for me. If they aren't then he will try a different medicine.

So to anyone else who experiences something similar - I know it's hard but do call and see another doctor. I got unlucky and got someone who didn't really listen to what I was telling her. Try again until you can get a doctor who hears what you are saying.

Thanks again to everyone for the support - it helped me have the strength to call back for another appointment. And now there is hope that, if I do have to go back to the US and start life as a single parent, I will be in an emotional state to handle it.

So glad you went back & are getting some help now. Sorry to hear you're having problems in your marriage, I do hope you can work everything out for the best. 

I am very happy to hear you have found help. This is not something that can be left to resolve on its own. In a week or two you will feel so much better. Take care and a big hug coming your way!

I'm so glad you went back and that someone listened to you this time. 

I'm so glad you went back and that someone listened to you this time. 

Thanks! Best of luck to you - it helped to hear your experience so thanks for sharing. 

Well, I had my one month follow up. Had to see a different doctor in the practice - a total pr*^k IMO. I have had the Rx renewed for two months, to follow up with another appointment mid-November. He totally blew off the side effects I tried to discuss with him, saying they were due to depression, not the meds.

Fortunately in the last month, since I've been on the meds, my husband decided to quit the job that's been making him so miserable and things have been a lot better. He starts a new job in Switzerland on 16 October, and sitting in the doctor's office yesterday, I must say I couldn't help thinking how glad I will be to put the NHS behind me. God help the people in this country who are depressed and actually manage to ask their doctors for help. It's a sad, sad system IMO.

Well, I had my one month follow up. Had to see a different doctor in the practice - a total pr*^k IMO. I have had the Rx renewed for two months, to follow up with another appointment mid-November. He totally blew off the side effects I tried to discuss with him, saying they were due to depression, not the meds.

Fortunately in the last month, since I've been on the meds, my husband decided to quit the job that's been making him so miserable and things have been a lot better. He starts a new job in Switzerland on 16 October, and sitting in the doctor's office yesterday, I must say I couldn't help thinking how glad I will be to put the NHS behind me. God help the people in this country who are depressed and actually manage to ask their doctors for help. It's a sad, sad system IMO.

Glad to hear that things are better TexasEx, despite the stinky doctors!!  Let's hope the road ahead is a happier one for you all!   

I have found that with treatment for depression, you really need to be strong and fight for what you want (so not what you are feeling like when you're depressed though!).  there are some who still think that mental illness is a deficiency of character.  Sooo Not true.  You were lucky you found one of the smart doctors to begin with.

Might be a good idea to make an appointment, if you can, with the original doctor you saw and go over the side effects.  Because there are quite a few, even with the most mild anti-depressants.  Also, insist that he take out his compendium and go over the side-effects for that drug.  I have had the most exceptional doctors do this, so it isn't showing that the doctor is dumb.  There is no way that they can know all the possible side-effects of every drug. Your dosage may just need tweaking.

I'm so glad you and your husband have found a way to make some changes and I hope things start to look up as you head to Switzerland. I just want to note that I had the opposite experience to you in the NHS.  We moved five times (twice internationally) in four years, my husband had been in a very difficult job situ, and we have two small children.  I was so tired and felt I couldn't cope with everything, no family nearby, and no close friends yet in a new area.  I went to the dr. just to ask her to run some tests to see if the tiredness was due to anything else.  She sat and listened for twenty minutes, asked a few questions, and then just asked me to give myself one more month. Run some blood tests and go one more month without making a decision to take medication/ or any change.  (This was all with the caveat that if I felt worse at all during the month I would call her immediately). She explained about serotonin levels being low after a prolonged period of stress, and how your body needs to catch up.  I began to listen to my body, sleep as long as the children slept at night (sometimes 12 hours) carefully watched my diet, and took at least one walk a day.  After a month, I did feel better and actually began to smile again.  So, in many ways, I am glad I didn't have to start them, or feel pressured to.  The blood tests didn't show anything spectacular, I think sometimes we don't give ourselves credit for the stress we are under. 
This seems to be really acute for women expats with small children, and then if money/ job/ immigration issues are also factored in, I think the stress levels shoot through the roof.
I'm sorry you had a bad experience with the dr. (I had a bad experience with the first dr. I ever saw on the NHS, but since moving to York, they've all been really good.)

She sat and listened for twenty minutes, asked a few questions, and then just asked me to give myself one more month. Run some blood tests and go one more month without making a decision to take medication/ or any change.  (This was all with the caveat that if I felt worse at all during the month I would call her immediately). She explained about serotonin levels being low after a prolonged period of stress, and how your body needs to catch up.  I began to listen to my body, sleep as long as the children slept at night (sometimes 12 hours) carefully watched my diet, and took at least one walk a day.  After a month, I did feel better and actually began to smile again. 

Thanks for sharing that Grace!  I really like how she said the body needs to catch up.  It is sooo true.  I will remember that one.  What a good doctor. 

and ditto on giving ourselves credit for the stress we are under.  I often think that if my sisters-in-law had my life, they'd be slitting their wrists.  If only I could have their problems!

Thanks Mrs Pink  .

I plan to make my follow up appt with the doctor that initially put me on them. That should be right before we leave the country, and once I am in Switzerland I plan to see an English-speaking doctor and work with him/her on making the choice of what is best goign forward. Fortunately I am moving back to a system that is more like the US so I am hopeful that the approach to things will reflect that.