Just wondering

Do you guys ever look at old pictures when you are apart from each other, and wonder if the other person is forgetting who you are, or why they fell in love with you?

They say distance makes the heart grow fonder, but is there ever an opposite to that. Does distance ever make the heart hurt more?

Distance became such a problem for us that we abandoned our application to bring my British husband to the US and instead moved the whole family to England. It had gotten to the point that we were both suffering from depression, fighting with one another and if we didn't do something we might not make it as a couple. If it all becomes too much, sometimes it is ok to take risks and go against logic. So listen to and follow your heart.

Early on in our relationship and in a LDR,  absence did definitely NOT make the heart grow fonder. We would fight like crazy once we were together. 

Now,  I would say it definitely does make my heart grow fonder, but that is more of a sign of really deep, lasting love (20 years worth).  absence makes us appreciate each other more.

IMO, the whole "distance makes the heart grow fonder" thing is a load of crap.  I personally think the idea only really applies to people you dislike or can't really stand in the first place - the same way that you can have fond memories of a favorite childhood movie only to watch it again as an adult and realize it's total crap.  The longer you're away from someone that irritates you, the more you start to forget why they're so irritating in the first place. 

When you love someone, be that your boyfriend, your best friend, or your mom, and you're apart from that person, for whatever reason - of course it's going to hurt.  Distance hurts.  As far as I'm concerned, in a LDR like so many of us are or were in, if there ever comes a time where that distance *doesn't* make your heart twinge, even if you're relatively happy in your day-to-day life and the twinge is just a bittersweet reminder of what you know you're missing (like when you've been married for twenty years, as in MrsPink's case), *then* you're in trouble.  That's when you know it's time to re-evaluate the relationship and figure out if it's really what you want after all.

I always assumed that phrased was meant to explain how if it didn't hurt to be apart from someone then surely you don't really love them that much? Your heart grows fonder because it hurts so much to be away from that person that you realize just how much you really love them. And naturally, that hurt is going to be a strain on the relationship. Love and relationships can be two completely different things.

But no, I never worried that he was forgetting about me at all. Sometime when one of us was leaving we'd say to each other "don't forget about me" but we both knew that was impossible. We had split up for over 2 years at one point but we got back together. If we couldn't forget about each other for 2 years, we know neither of us could ever forget each other. Our connection has just always been so strong, it's like nothing can stop it.

We joke and say "out of sight/out of mind"...knowing of course that it's exactly the opposite!  It's our way of being cheeky and saying we miss each other.  We just really don't like to dwell on the missing each other part.  We know we do and we rarely talk about it because we feel it's understood.

I also don't worry that he forgets about me, he couldn't...I'm too lovely! 

I hate to tell you it gets easier the longer you are apart and together, but it does.  It doesn't mean you love each other any less, to me it just means we are more secure in our relationship and I know we are meant to be together.  We said good-bye last week and I didn't shed a tear.  That's twice now.  And it's not because I don't miss or love him any less.  If anything, I know more now than ever that he is my life and the the UK is really my home.  Why cry, it just makes me sad and my eyes puffy!

Hang in there!

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Distance became such a problem for us that we abandoned our application to bring my British husband to the US and instead moved the whole family to England. It had gotten to the point that we were both suffering from depression, fighting with one another and if we didn't do something we might not make it as a couple. If it all becomes too much, sometimes it is ok to take risks and go against logic. So listen to and follow your heart.

have done the exact same thing as it was so much easier for him to come here, and it was getting so complicated with my ex not aloowing me to take my son to live in the states. We still have a long wait just over a year until he is out of the military, but well worth it.

Sure I think distance makes the heart hurt, when you love someone and want to be with them it's a terrible strain. But I don't think it makes people in love forget the other person or why they fell in love. It doesn't in my case. I still love him and remember everyday why, it's just added stress and work with the distance part of the relationship. But if you both want to be together you keep trying to get through and make it together.

I believe we all have our moments, just like any couple. For myself & my boyfriend were both trying to figure out who's moving where. He has a young son & I couldn't possiblely see him moving here to the US. Yet I have an elderly Grandma that would be heartbroken if I moved. Honestly I believe both people have to be down right honest with their feelings, if your having a bad day say so. I think it also helps if you've had the experience of a prior LDR. Hang in there & you have to stick together. Take care.