Who's decision is it anyway?

We have been house looking for the past few months. Nothing too serious but we need to get a bigger house as this three bedroom end terrace is closing in on us as the kids get bigger. We have three kids in the front bedroom and the youngest in the tiny box room. Jordan is going on 12 next month and needs some privacy yet Jack is too young to share with the other boys at the moment. It's just time to move on.
So we find this house in Nuneaton about 15 mins from where we live in Coventry. Its a very well presented 2 large bedroom house with two large attic bedrooms! It has a new bathroom and kitchen AND laundry room complete with sink! All the floors on the first floor are natural wood floors and the floors upstairs are wood planks. It has all the original period fireplaces in all the rooms and the downstairs fire is grand. The cost is extremely affordable. We would have enough equity in our house when we sell it to cover half the price of this house which would keep our mortgage low. I love it, its perfect but hubby is finding issues. He is sick of off street parking which this house has and says the back garden is too small. The back garden is indeed small but there is a water feature in the middle which can be taken out. We have a large back garden here and the kids never go out there anyway. The house is perfect with the exception of the small back garden. I really dont see how we can afford to move to a bigger house in a decent area and keep our mortgage low. He wants a palace for next to nothing! Why does it have to be HIS decision? How can we come to some sort of agreement when it comes to house hunting?

I think statistics show that it's usually the woman who has the final say. You might try pointing out that you are the one in the house most of the time anyway!!

Is your house on the market yet? If not, it might not be a good idea to fall in love with this one just yet unless you're confident yours will sell quickly. Houses are going like hotcakes in our area but I know that's not the case everywhere.

Good luck!

I think statistics show that it's usually the woman who has the final say. You might try pointing out that you are the one in the house most of the time anyway!!
Good luck!

I agree with that and the new house sounds lovely! Take your husband back for another look and point out all of the good features that you mentioned above as well as emphasize that you guys have four growing boys!  How can he refuse! 

I think statistics show that it's usually the woman who has the final say. You might try pointing out that you are the one in the house most of the time anyway!!

Is your house on the market yet? If not, it might not be a good idea to fall in love with this one just yet unless you're confident yours will sell quickly. Houses are going like hotcakes in our area but I know that's not the case everywhere.

Good luck!

We're having the house evaluated on Tues. Houses on our street sell like hotcakes too for some reason. 4 went up for sale right after new years and they are all sold already. Im sure selling wont be a problem.

  How can he refuse! 

Because he's a MAN!  lol

Yes Ill drag him back against his will!

Because he's a MAN!  lol

Yes Ill drag him back against his will!

Another point to sell is that no house is perfect (i.e. - smaller garden and off street parking) but you are getting more house. No deal is perfect so there will always be a compromise. Before you know it...there will be four young men in the house plus him!    Ask him what he thinks of that! 

Bring the kids if you think they will love it too. Majority rules. 

He is sick of off street parking which this house has and says the back garden is too small.

I'm just wondering why he doesn't like off-street parking? That's always considered quite an asset when selling/buying a house. 

...The house is perfect with the exception of the small back garden. I really don't see how we can afford to move to a bigger house in a decent area and keep our mortgage low.

Never seen a perfect house, not even close! Sure he doesn't have some other issues, or is the back yard and the parking _truly_ his only two issues?

He wants a palace for next to nothing!

Can't fault him for that!

Why does it have to be HIS decision? How can we come to some sort of agreement when it comes to house hunting?

Time for my daily "get myself in hot water" comment. Why? Who's paying?  (It's a joke!)

I'm sure you can come to some agreement, it might help to list the negative/positives of the home, and compare notes. Do that for a few options both in and outside your price range. Then compare all the notes. If this home truly is the "right" home, it'll show. Being a male, he should find it hard to argue with logic. Maybe you're attacking him on an emotional/aesthetic front, something we males care nothing about. :p Come "down" to our level, and outwit him with your superior logic abilities, and you might very well win the "battle". 

In the end, what matters is you get the right home for yourself and your family. I have a feeling this is a mutual desire on both of your parts. If you both reason things out on paper like I suggested, I suspect you'll come to a conclusion of this issue, assuming what you've said is the entire story behind his/your reasoning.

Best of luck,
David

PS - If you want to boil me alive, you'll have to travel 7500 miles first. I'm reasonably safe! Don't be offended, however, most of the above was said in jest. I am serious about the method to go about helping both of you come to an agreement.

Could you point out that this house would be perfect while your kids are still young, and then once they are grown you guys could downsize to something with a big yard, etc.?

I'm just wondering why he doesn't like off-street parking? That's always considered quite an asset when selling/buying a house. 

D'oh, I meant ON street parking! We have two cars also which is usually a hassle when parking on the street.

What about that saying...if momma ain't happy, ain't nobody happy?  If you're in the house most of the time and the one slated to keep it running smoothly, etc...I say you should have the final say.  I think it sounds wonderful (minus the parking issues but I'm a nervous wreck if I don't have my own parking spot)...my fingers are crossed for you.

What about that saying...if momma ain't happy, ain't nobody happy?  If you're in the house most of the time and the one slated to keep it running smoothly, etc...I say you should have the final say.  I think it sounds wonderful (minus the parking issues but I'm a nervous wreck if I don't have my own parking spot)...my fingers are crossed for you.

ha haha.. he knows when momma aint happy , sh*t happens! But he's grown accustomed to it!
We have on road parking at our house now. We have a garage but its too small for our estate or landrover. I found most old houses that actually have garages the garages are too small for cars anyway.



Thanks for your valuable insight Ormand. You must be new here?

Interesting thread, Ricki! We'll be house-hunting soon, and have decided it's pretty much my decision. If he hates it, obviously, it's a no-go, but ultimately I'm the one doing the legwork and research since he doesn't have the time to do it. But we have more or less the same taste, anyway, so I'm not too worried.

Interesting thread, Ricki! We'll be house-hunting soon, and have decided it's pretty much my decision. If he hates it, obviously, it's a no-go, but ultimately I'm the one doing the legwork and research since he doesn't have the time to do it. But we have more or less the same taste, anyway, so I'm not too worried.

Oh really? This is HUGE news ya know? Where you thinking of moving to? Staying in Wales?

Well I think my silent treatment and pouting have started getting to him and to top it off the estate agent just called and asked for feedback on the property and he was saying how great the house was etc.

Oh really? This is HUGE news ya know? Where you thinking of moving to? Staying in Wales?

Huge news?!? We've been talking about it for over a year! 

Nope, moving to Cornwall. I'm in the midst of buying a building plot here in Wales, though, so until that's sorted out we're delaying the house-search.

Well I think my silent treatment and pouting have started getting to him and to top it off the estate agent just called and asked for feedback on the property and he was saying how great the house was etc.

Well done!! Persistence pays off!