Americans having church weddings and receptions in the UK

While we aren't engaged at the current moment, we have started talking about where we would have a wedding.  Complicating the matter, as it always does, is that both DB and I have large families and extended family friends who would want to be at a wedding.

As we are both in England it would be quite easy to plan something over here, but part of me wonders how many of my friends would be able to make it as they are all in the "having babies phase".  We both want a church wedding so that's decided already, but it's a matter of where.

Obviously a wedding in the states would be cheaper (especially with the current exchange rate) but planning one where i live would be easier.

No matter where it happens we will have a reception in the other country as well, but as you all probably know it won't be exactly the same as the day the vows are said.

Just wondering what factors came into play for those of you who were americans living in the UK and planning a wedding.

Well, for us, we were living in two different places and it came down to two factors.  One was that it was simplier to have him plan our wedding as he had more time.  The other was, I was really interested in having it here.  But, I will say it was really hard having all his family  and friends, and so few of mine. 

We are currently in this predictament.  We are seriously considering eloping and having a party (or gathering) later...however, we live in two different countries at the moment and I will be making the move.  So, we are sort of thinking that the money would be better spent on a spousal visa and moving me.  We haven't made up our minds yet, but, it is something we are considering (and frankly with all the "family drama" something we would prefer).

A few things:

Money.  My parents are paying for the majority of the wedding and the exchange rate would have killed them. 

Passports.  Most of my American friends and family do not have passports.  They would have needed to get them to come to a wedding in the UK.  (Sad but true)

Weather.  I didn't want to risk the English weather.

So in the end we are having a full on destination wedding in Napa.  We figured if one side had to travel...all sides have to travel!  We also thought this would keep numbers down.  We want a small wedding and by removing it from either of our hometowns, we avoid having to invite every business associate my dad has had over the last 30 years.

My boyfriend has divorced parents, and American father and British mother. He wants to have a destination wedding so it doesn't make conflicts with his parents.

Neither one of us want a big wedding, probably will just be immediate family. I would love a beach wedding. I think that since I'm moving to the UK it's only fair to have the wedding in the US.

We aren't officially engaged though, so we have time to think.

As someone recently engaged, we decided to have the bigger celebration in the US, as my parents are paying for it, I'm the only child, and weddings are also sort of family reunions in my family--and these are all in addition to the very good points about the exchange rate and passports that Karin brought up.That said, we do plan to also have a blessing and a nice dinner on the IOM for close family and friends who couldn't make the US event. A significant part of FH's family immigrated to NZ anyway, so even if we had it on his home turf, there wouldn't be many people there. It still kind of stinks though, because there are friends of ours that we met while I was living there who won't be able to afford to come.

i hadn't even thought about the passport issue.  I know some of my family has up to date ones, but my sister and her husband's have lapsed and they now have two babies... 4 passports on top of 4 flights to england.  Definitely something to think about.

on the topic of passports I feel like i once read that only 4% of americans have a passport.  can this be true?!?

I'm not sure exactly what type of wedding you're planning, but "large" and "extravagant" don't necessarily mean the same thing.  Planning a large wedding from another town shouldn't be too much of a problem, assuming you can make at least one trip home.  If you wanted something extravagant, that would require multiple meetings with caterers, event planners, florists, etc. then it might get tricky.

I have a friend who planned her entire wedding in one weekend.  She knew what church she would be married in.  She had a great recommendation (that she trusted) for a caterer, so just met once to pick out the menu.  She went to meet with the florist once and ordered everything then.  Called a tent company and booked a tent, tables and chairs.  I believe she bought the dress and invitations in the town in which she was living.  She had a simple and elegant wedding with about 200 guests.  I think she may have had to go back one more time to finalise things with the minister (although he was her minister from when she was a child, so he knew her and her family).

I only had a single meeting with each vendor, but I had my wedding in my hometown - so I spread the meetings over a couple of months.  Again though, it was a pretty simple wedding.

I have a friend who planned her entire wedding in one weekend.  She knew what church she would be married in.  She had a great recommendation (that she trusted) for a caterer, so just met once to pick out the menu.  She went to meet with the florist once and ordered everything then.  Called a tent company and booked a tent, tables and chairs.  I believe she bought the dress and invitations in the town in which she was living.  She had a simple and elegant wedding with about 200 guests.  I think she may have had to go back one more time to finalise things with the minister (although he was her minister from when she was a child, so he knew her and her family).

I only had a single meeting with each vendor, but I had my wedding in my hometown - so I spread the meetings over a couple of months.  Again though, it was a pretty simple wedding.

I am counting on getting everything sorted in a week!   We planned a trip to Napa for next week and I have 3 days of back to back appts.  It's our only shot to plan the wedding.  If we don't meet the vendors this trip we will be going of recommendations and websites. 

In a way, I think it's actually kind of good.  I know that after this week, at least 50-70% of wedding planning should be wrapped up and we aren't even getting married until next May!

We had two formal weddings and receptions. 

The NA-based Catholic contingent wouldn't consider a destination wedding, and most wouldn't travel far.  Ditto with the Shinto/Buddhist contingent.

So, in the interests of family harmony... the money was spent.  I didn't do much of the planning for either, though.  Just found my costumes/picked out the food and flowers and stuff.   The families on both sides did most of the work.  (Oh, and thank God for ebay!)

There didn't seem to be any other way to make everyone happy. 

We elected to have the wedding in the UK in the village church where he grew up, because I don't really have any place that has any special meaning to me but he was quite involved until he went to university, and his parents still live in the village and are active in the church.  It's going to cost my relatives a bit more, but they are all using it as their excuse to take their mini European vacations that they have always wanted, and since most of them have never left the continent it will be quite an adventure!