the organisation of the first meet

we are in the early stages of trying to plan our first meet,i would like to know what people had to organise what worries they had and how to introduce to the family,its a whole different world to what i'm used to.the girl ive fell for ,kim, will be coming over and she will have to stay in a hotel as i have my daughter living with me i so much want kim to stay at my house but it would be so ackward for the first time and i feel guilty for having her stay alone in a hotel after being apart all this time,what have other people done for arrangements and other problems encountered.I know she's gonna call me daft for thinking like this but hey a little worry never hurt anyone besides she loves me warts and all lol xx

Congratulations on planning your first meet!

I think it's different for everyone. DB and I are both in our 20s and he was in the States visiting his father for a few weeks. I had driven down to meet him and I booked a hotel to stay in and we decided before hand that he would stay with me there if we both felt comfortable. Neither of us have children.

We were a but uncomfortable at first. We had been talking online for hours and hours a day for three-four months but still, meeting in person was a while different ball of wax for us. We got over our most of our jitters by the end of the first night and the rest of the visit was a lot more comfortable.

I met his father, step-mother, and sister. Neither of us had told the rest of our families about each other and after the visit we both decided that we wanted to be together and we decided to tell our families.

I think it's good for you to consider your daughter and have Kim stay at hotel. I would make the same choice if I were you.

Some people have felt a little uncomfortable and awkward at first, others have felt comfortable straight away and others have been somewhere in the middle. The biggest recommendation I have is to be prepared for any and all of those feelings.

I hope it goes well!

Dave, I don't think you're daft for thinking about all those things.  I respect you more because you do care enough to worry.   

Are you the "Kim?" If so, congratulations! I hope it goes well!

Are you the "Kim?" If so, congratulations! I hope it goes well!

Yes, that's me.  And thanks, I'm nervous and excited about it.  I can't wait....

You don't sya how old your daughter is, but I would encourage you to consider your decision for your partner to stay in a hotel.

When my husband made that first trip, we had originally planned for him to do so at a time when my kids were supposed to be with my ex (Christmas/New Years). It did not work out that way. He was thrown into the fire from the very beginning. I have another friend here that is facing a difficulty with her partner's son adjusting. It is placing a hardship on them now.

As a parent, kids are amazingly aware of such things and very resilent. If you feel that this could be forever, you should realise that you might be doing both your partner and your daughter a disservice.

Besides now as a married couple anytime issues come up around the kids I am always able to say...you knew from the start what my kids were like. LOL!

How exciting for you and Kim!  I just wanted to touch on my experience a bit, since both me and DB have daughter's.  DB's daughter stays with him every weekend, so I met his daughter the first time I visited.  He had never introduced anyone he dated to his daughter before (she is 10), so I felt fortunate and very special to be able to meet her.  It went very well and I knew that he was serious about me from that moment.  DB met my daughter (22 mos. old) the first time he visited me in the states, as well.   

I forgot to add, that it is very difficult to decide what to do when children are involved, so I understand.  I had never introduced anyone to my daughter before, but with DB I had no hesitation. 

Well Mark or myself don't have kids. However, on our first meeting he had his grandparents living in the same house. His mum lives in the flat upstairs, and his entire family is over almost every day. I was flying to England, and I was thrown right into the mix of the house! It was awesome. I got to feel comfortable around his family and became part of the family myself. So much that they get excited whenever im coming! 

I think you just have to do what is right for you... if you feel comfortable to have Kim around your child then ya might as well allow Kim to stay with you, that way when you two do decide to get married or what not a relationship is already forming there with Kim and your child.

Thing is, if you are feeling awkward about the hotel stay now.... you will feel just as awkward when she IS staying there and cant come and cuddle with you in the night  trust me