Moving Back to the States?

Since a potential move back to the States has come up, I've been trying to take the time to figure out how I feel about it.  We've been away for years yet only in the UK for one or so.  There's a possibility of a job in the States and if the package is very good, we will take it. 

Life here has been fine and even good; I have missed friends and family from home, particularly since my children have arrived.  I've made good friends here -- many of whom also expect to move out after a couple of years and some who already have.  My children aren't in preschool so there's no adjustment that way.

So what do I feel?  (rhetorical!  )   Why do I feel like there's something I'd be missing or that my children (baby and toddler) would be missing out on?  Is there?  Anyone been through this -- thought through this before?  We'd be in the NY Metro Area; we've lived in NY before and have a lot of friends there too, so that's not an adjustment at all...  I just feel like there's something I'd miss....besides phenomenal cheddar cheese!   

Europe?  Is it the proximity to some of the most fantastic (in my opinion) on Earth???  Is it that we haven't yet gotten back to all of the places we want to visit (sans jetlag)?  Is that reason enough?

BTW, sorry to be posting such a post; I'm just thinking that maybe one of you UKYANKEE folks has some of the answers to shar. 

Cheers!

   

This may not terribly helpful, but I think what you're feeling is normal.  This is my second stint living in the UK, and I found that when I was in the US, I missed the UK.  Now I'm here again, I miss the US.  I may just be a malcontent, but I prefer to think it's because I've learned to love both 

I know a lot of people on this site who have moved back to the US have felt this way.

I know I'll probably spend the rest of my life missing either the US or UK terribly. It would be great to find a way to split our time between the two!

Good to know.  I do enjoy both places, that is a positive way to look at it -- thanks. 

(PS - Kate-Mate - Is that the Brooklyn Bridge you have near your username?  One of my favourite places in NY.  ) 

I do enjoy both places, that is a positive way to look at it -- thanks. 

That's how I try to see it as well.

(PS - Kate-Mate - Is that the Brooklyn Bridge you have near your username?  One of my favourite places in NY.  ) 

Yep. I used to live in Brooklyn Heights before moving to London in 2006. I do miss it! One of my favorite things to do is walk across the Brooklyn Bridge.

Me too on the bridge-walking. 
I was just on the things to consider before moving here thread and now see what it really is that has me feeling this way....  Someone had written, "...Ii was not working and not able to be part of the culture".  This is a big part of it for me too -- not that I had to work to be part of the culture, but just to experience more of it in whatever manner/avenue, etc..  I didn't yet find that just through playgroups, etc., and haven't been going out at night (little kids!) enough to get into it that way either. I've traveled a lot and have lived in other countries too, and have always gotten to soak up the cultures and places I've experienced; but here I haven't.  So, I think that's most what I'm 'missing'; whether I would love it here or not really doesn't have as much of a bearing as does the idea that I have lived here and not really fully gotten a UK experience.  I'd need to be here longer for that.

So, I may be missing out on that...and cheddar cheese, lots of good countryside trips, and European travel-- if we move.      

Maybe it would help if you don't think of the move as a permenant one.  Keep an open mind who knows you may be back here or some place else in a few years time.  Your children are still very young they have plenty of time to experience life in a different country.  I grew up as an expat and have spent more or my life living outside of America than in it so I really cherish my memories of living in the States but I've loved my expat life.  My children have never lived in the States, they are now 15 and 16 and starting to think about college.  There have been times I've wished they'd had a chance to live there for a couple of years rather than just visit a couple weeks every year or so.  Make the most of the move.

Kateydid - Yes, shall do.  Thanks for that.   

Moved back to the states about a year and a half ago.  Honestly, thought I was the only one who longs to be back in UK, and cannot quite say that living in US is not for me.  Finding a way to "do" both would be my best life ever.  Right now, contemplating an interview back in UK, but as soon as that thought finishes, my kids (who are grown and close by) come to mind-and I remain.  There doesn't seem to be a pat answer, and perhaps this condition is terminal, but I so miss my life back in UK.  On the matter of friends, there are many back in Essex that brought me into their family circle, and I am truly blessed to know them.

So what do I feel?  (rhetorical!  )   Why do I feel like there's something I'd be missing or that my children (baby and toddler) would be missing out on?  Is there?  Anyone been through this -- thought through this before? 

Is it that we haven't yet gotten back to all of the places we want to visit (sans jetlag)?  Is that reason enough?

We moved back to the US a few months ago and I can only agree with everything you said.  My husband loves being back in the US.  My kids miss their friends in England but they've made new friends and are fine.  I'm not settled.  I keep thinking about the things I loved in England and what we don't get to do anymore.  Primarily that's travel, but also what it comes down to is the sense of adventure that we felt living there and is now lacking in our American life.  Also the view of the world that my children no longer receive. I loved all they got to experience.

Yes, we can make the effort to continue that attitude and lifestyle.  I've been obsessed recently with finding ways to do that.  However it is hard to compete with the ability to fly a family of five to Ireland for £70, as we could do from London.  Or to Rome for £200.

I don't mean to be depressing but it has been a hard adjustment and it sounds like you're thinking all the things I have been.  I wish I had answers!     I guess it's just as you embrace life in place A, you do the same with place B for as long as you are there.  Make the most of each home you have, appreciating what you are able to do in the time you have there before you move on.

Hi UK Mom - Thanks for your insight.  Are you American, by the way?  I'm assuming yes.

Yeah, you've hit the nail on the head for at least a chunk of this -- travel-wise.  I think if we move, we may be here through the summer and can enjoy a bunch of trips while here.  I have to tell you though that we haven't visited nearly as many places in the States as we have around the world.

My children are small so I'm not sure what worldly experience they'll be missing out on here vs. there.  Do you think it's the people you met that gave your kids more of a world view?  or the places you traveled to?  or something else?  I'm wondering because I'm wondering if kids in the bigger cities in the States can't do this as well --- I know many in NYC who do.  It's our kids' parents (me and hubby) who will be responsible for giving the kids the opportunity for that -- through the books, schools, dvd's, friends, etc..  Can we do it?  I think so; am I being naive?      I'd be interested in hearing yours and other parents' perspective on this. 

I'll still very much miss the cheese!  Anyone from Wisconsin and know if it at all compares? 

The only cheese I've ever found in the US that compares to English mature farmhouse cheddar is Tillamook Vintage White Extra Sharp, if you can get it. 

http://www.tillamook.com/OurProducts/Cheese/Vintage_White_Extra_Sharp_Cheddar.aspx

It shows as being available at these retailers in NY

Adams Fare Apple Farm – Poughkeepsie, Kingston
Agata Valentina – New York
Cheese Shop - Scarsdale
Cheese & More – Chappaqua
D'Agostinos Supermarkets - Manhattan
Dean & Deluca – New York
Food City Markets – Harrison
Grace Markets – New York
Hay Day’s – White Plains
Macy’s – New York
Maison Glass – New York
The Food Imporium - Manhattan
Tops – Buffalo
Trader Joe’s – Commack, Hartsdale, Hewlett, Lake Grove, Larchmont, Merrick, Oceanside, Plainview, Scarsdale
Uptown Whole Foods – New York
Wegman’s – New York
Whole Foods – Manhasset, New York
Zabar’s – New York
 
 
 

Thank you, Elliejean!!    

No prob, I love my cheese!

Yum... you can get Tillamook throughout the DC area, too.