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Topic: Hi From Canterbury  (Read 1317 times)

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Hi From Canterbury
« on: December 10, 2002, 03:26:50 PM »
Hello,

Just wanted to 'come out' and say hello 'cuz I figured it was time to stop lurking.

Then again, that isn't entirely true as this is probably my 4th post. I asked about healthcare because I am caring for my disabled mother, who was a victim of brainstroke. And I think I also asked for tips and links on money-saving ideas, in regards to living in the UK. (Thanks for the replies, by the way! I need to learn how to survive as a poor person so every bit of advice or info you can send my way is a godsend.)

Ok. It's time to introduce myself but I'll try to keep it simple.
I am of Eurasian heritage although I don't look it. My mother is Austrian/Chinese, and my dad is American of Black African roots. Actually, I am a bit yellowy, come to think of it!

Although I went to American school, was surrounded by American folks, grew up on burgers and pizza's AND watched Hee Haw and Sgt. Bilko on television.......I never lived in the USA. Most of my life was spent in the little kingdom of Okinawa. An island south of Japan, with 60,000 American military personnel on it. (Amazing it never sank!) I have also spent time in Hong Kong and was working in Tokyo just before we came here to the UK. Oh, and in case you wonder, I hold a British National Overseas passport as does my mother. (Don't even ask)

Wait, there's more! I met my husband through work, and we married five years ago. He's of Hungarian/Irish descent but has been in England since he was knee-high to a praying mantis. (never mind) Anyway, we also have two teenage daughters from his previous marriage, but they live in London with their mother....and only visit us once in a while.

We moved here because my husband's employment contract ran out. He could have found another job in Japan (he's a computer programming/website-making person) but because of his children needing him and also the slowly deteriorating situation of my mother, we felt it would be wiser to 'go home.'

My dad is still alive and wobbling around in Connecticut, where he retired to a few years ago. (Dad was an emtertainer.)

I am an only child-----so it's pretty rough sometimes, dealing with my mother's situation. She has been living with us for five years. She had her stroke the exact same year I got married........sigh.

Now we are living in Canterbury and I am turning into a kind of human pretzel trying to get things sorted out for my mother, let alone for myself. We've been here for almost four months but it feels like ten years.......in a way. As mom and I have weird visas, we're not allowed access to any public funds (i.e. real help from social services) for at least one year until I can apply for residency. It will only be after I become a resident that we can get our hot little hands on things like regular helpers, homecare and other types of stuff.

Also, we are still unemployed although my husband has found a couple of good odd jobs to keep him busy until Feb. In my case, I am unable to work because I have to look after mum until we get proper help. So far, we seem to be on all sorts of waiting lists, so I guess something will come along someday.

I just hope I'm still alive by then.

To cope, I've been reading your posts and enjoying the spirit of camraderie that imbues this site. Uk-yankee has been very helpful for me, thank you guys for "being." My other coping mechanism is to drown myself in British TV. Not very healthy, I know. But it does help the time go by more quickly.

If any of you ever get together around my neighborhood, I would love to come out and meet y'all. Although I look after mom, a few hours away doesn't hurt. So long as I don't stay away too long.

Well, now that I've put you to sleep with all this babbling....duhhh, I think it's time to make like a banana peel and slip outta here.

But, not before wishing everyone the happiest, bestest, most wunnerful hunny-filled holiday season. :)

Have a good one and stay safe.
Rachelle  


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Re: Hi From Canterbury
« Reply #1 on: December 10, 2002, 04:45:10 PM »
Hello Rachelle,

 Bless you, for you really have your hands full there. If I was there already and living close to Canterbury I would be most honored to spend some time with your Mom while you got away for a while...  hopefully something will help you out there soon.  

 My Mom was diagnsed with colon cancer 1 year after I was married to my ex...  we took care of her and eventually she moved in with us as well as passed away at home per her request not to die in a hospital... and although I had two older sisters...  I may as well have had none...  To have just one person to give me a break now and then would have been a miracle, so I know what you are going through.  We did have hospice... and they were excellent... but they only come into the home near the end and you must be present at all times.

 There must be some volunteer groups around you that would give you a hand now and then...  maybe checking with the local parish or counsel will find a few good hearted people while you are waiting on residency.

 Welcome to the site and I am glad you introduced yourself...  please do not hesitate to contact me any time you need someone to talk to.  

Michele
Logic is one thing, it keeps us in control!
But the heart only knows one, which is the  
depths of our soul!


Re: Hi From Canterbury
« Reply #2 on: December 10, 2002, 04:50:58 PM »
Hi Rachelle...good to meet you. :D Wow..it sounds like you've got your hands full. But it seems you have a really good attitude about everything and you're handling everything with such grace. Much more so than I ever could in your situation.
Best of luck in everything. This forum and the people on it are really wonderful so you've definitely got support here any time you need it.
So welcome to the forum and hope to see you around. :D


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Re: Hi From Canterbury
« Reply #3 on: December 10, 2002, 07:57:24 PM »
hey Rachelle...welcome to UK YANKEE!!  
my dad was actually stationed in Okinawa (twice) when i was little.   my brother and sister were born there.  although i was young (beginning school age) i have lots of fond memories.  Hope things begin to settle down a bit for ya....GODD LUCK & KEEP ON POSTIN!!  



"A nation which does not remember what it was yesterday does not know where it is today."
--Robert E. Lee


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Re: Hi From Canterbury
« Reply #4 on: December 11, 2002, 05:50:49 PM »
Hi Rachelle!  I also lived in Okinawa as a youngster - and I know what you mean about UK Television.  It is best to get out once in awhile, if no other reason than to make sure you can give the best care possible to you mother.  

According to the Stroke Association, there are over 400 Stroke clubs across the UK that provide some support for stroke patients and their families.  You might start there, it certainly can't hurt!

It sounds as though you have a lot going on, and its good that you are posting to a site where there are so many helpful and supportive people in general.  Best of luck to you and your family and may you enjoy a very happy holiday together.  

:)
I'm out of my mind right now, but feel free to leave a message . . .


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Re: Hi From Canterbury
« Reply #5 on: December 15, 2002, 10:28:32 AM »
Even though this is a "small island" I've not been to your neck of the woods before. It's definitely on my list, but not a place that I can just hop in the car and dash out to. I understand how important it is to have friends, especially those you can just chill out with. It's a sanity thing. (When I first got here, I watched "Sunset Beach" on a daily basis. I'd never seen it in the US and it was so farsical that it was mesmerizing. The week it died I was in Swindon doing some shopping, and one of the cast was sitting there with his wife eating in the food court at Great Western Outlet Mall. It was rather hysterical.)

I like mfredericka's idea of coming to spell you for a bit so you can get out. Might also be fun to set up a phone thing...hearing a voice is often quite lifting as well.
Married to Graham, we run our own open-source computer training company in beautiful Wiltshire out of our 1814 Georgian Regency home (a former lodging house and once featured in Antiques Roadshow)


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HRe: Hi From Canterbury
« Reply #6 on: December 15, 2002, 01:29:01 PM »
Hi Rachelle and welcome to the site.  

Sounds as if you do have job to do, you have my admiration,,,you sound like a very special person  :D  There is a charity here called Age Concern, have you contacted them?  They may have some advice on other groups you could contact. Also, make sure you surgery has you down as a "Carer", because they too can help you with getting some respite care.  Do you need any special equipment for your mum? I used to sell home medical equipment and might be able to help you (no charge) as I still have a few things left.  

barbara


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Re: Hi From Canterbury
« Reply #7 on: December 18, 2002, 06:23:26 PM »
Hello Rachelle, and welcome. :)

I haven't been to Canterbury, I'm not even sure where it is. You'd think I'd know a bit more of the geography by now. I've been here three years.

It sounds as though some good advice was given already, I hope something comes through for you. Best of luck, and hope to get to know you better. :)

Happy Holidays ;)


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