calling/talking

How many times a week do you call your SO, or the other way around your SO calls you?



I hate LDR now with a passion, we only talk once a day for 15min to 20mins and thats it he has to go to sleep or do other crap like clean the house,cook...seriously it takes him about an hour to clean up a small house, I hate that im getting mad about this but he dosent seem like it bothers him...atleast I dont feel/see it, that this distance is driving me insane I dont want to quit, its just hard at times..

I can completely understand how you feel. When my boyfriend and I were long distance, we used to talk for hours and hours over webcam. Once he got a new job, he couldn't talk as long and was so tired he just wanted to do text. I felt like we were growing apart, but he really was just busy and tired. Some people had successful LDRs where they didn't speak every day. It's really about what works best for you as a couple.

We very rarely spoke over the phone because of the cost. I had Vonage, so I could call him when he had a landline, but otherwise it was just way too costly. When he was on vacations with his family, we basically just called to say "Hi, I love you" and that was it.

Have you spoken to him about how you feel and how he may be feeling? Are you thinking he's not really just cleaning and cooking? I know that DB and I sometimes felt constrained by the need to be attached to either a phone or computer to talk (especially because it can be difficult to keep up great conversation if you speak every day and are long distance), so we needed to just cut back the amount of time we spoke each day.

It's great to talk each day, but it sounds like you and your SO might need to have a talk about how much time you each feel you need for talking each day, but also make sure you each have enough time for people/activities outside of your relationship.

I want to talk about it and it becomes an argument, he takes it the wrong way an then I do, or he just thinks im being pretty selfish and im not understanding but dosent really complain after awhile he just comes out with how its hard for him, an I know its hard for him but I want him to talk to me about it on normal convos, not when im depressed about it already..he dosent text much he thinks its pricey but I call him and thats not? :\\\'(

My fiance is the talky half of our relationship. It used to drive me mad that he wanted to spend hours on the phone replaying his day for me minute by minute. I'm one of those "how was your day?" "fine." people.

Eventually, I came to see it as rather sweet, though it's still...not my style. Ironically, we don't talk nearly as much when we're together  

We used MSN all the time.  I was lucky because our time difference was vast and my DH could get online at work during the day.  We made sure that we could 'talk' and use the webcam on the weekends, definitely every Sunday.  To be honest, it made it harder sometimes...To hear him and see him and not be able to hug him...Maybe I am just a sap   Is it possible for you to speak everyday on MSN?  Not necessarily talking but maybe just messages?  I understand how you feel..LDRs are really difficult and really hard and they suck but how amazing does it feel when you're together?    Good luck!!

We mostly used messengers when we were apart and just spoke every week or so on the phone.  Like a lot of men my husband wasn't very good at talking on the phone but he was ok on messengers.  I'm not a big phone talker either so I didn't really mind. 

I think I'm lucky the time difference for us is 7 hours and I'm allowed to talk to him from work....so we are able to actually just keep it open and talk periodically throughout my entire workday.  I have a little tiny web cam that I have hidden on my desk so he just watches me work sometimes:) Jeez that sounds kinda creepy when I write it out, but it's what we do and what works for us. But LDR's are hard and sometimes you just have to do other things and just can't include them no matter how bad you want to.  Good luck to you, this is the hardest part:(

it is hard, I dont want to seem like im nagging him all the time he says he does care but its really hard when its LDR, he has no internet at the moment so thats why its a bit tough..I guess I just have to be petient..

I am the opposite end of the spectrum. We IM'd constantly and spoke on the phone in excess of 2 hours per day...plus webcam. We both had Vonage so the calls were always free...except mobiles. Now we even have virtual US numbers on our Vonage plan so that my son and mother can call us whenever they want and it is a local call for them. The great thing about it was that even though we were 6,000 miles apart we spent every waking minute together...and some sleeping...especially when he went back to the UK after our daughter was born. He would just sit and watch us sleep on the webcam. One time I remember I fell FAST asleep...and he called me from London to Los Angeles to tell me that our daughter was fussy...when she was laying right next to me. The thing about it was...I never doubted his commitment to us because of all the time. I can't count the number of times we would be talking and he would fall asleep and start snoring.

thats sweet,

well after a year and a half its over, we had a long talk and he cant cope with distance, i cant be bothered to deal with someone who just givesup on somone they love this long..I tried to put him first on all my daily routines and he didnt do that for me I still tried to work it out, but he only thinks of himself..

I'm sorry it didn't work out.

My bf and I talk on the phone more than we should. My phone bill has been around $4-500 for the past 6 months! Sometimes I honestly forget that it's so expensive and I'll just pick up the phone when I am dying to hear his voice and we'll get caught up talking for an hour or two.

We talk every single day on MSN though. And our recent webcam purchases have helped with the distance sooo much! I am pretty sure this is the only place I can admit this and have people understand, but we have 'online dates' every evening before he goes off to bed and on the weekends, we each stay in one night and he'll stay up later so we can talk all night. Instant messenger and webcams have been our relationship life saver.

Edited to add: Sorry, Precious. 

DH and DD both have "Swiftcall" on their landlines and that is much cheaper than BT.  Now we have hooked up with Skype.  Good, so far!

jennagirl! That is A LOT but I dunderstand I made that mistake once too....yahoo is nice because you can have the webcam, IM and computer phone calls for free...and calling cards seem to be a better alternative for me:)

Precious..I'm so sorry  :\\\'(

JennaGirl - Get an Unlimited Skype World subscription.  It's $9.95 a month (cheaper if you buy it a few months or a year at a time).  Then you can get a Skype-To-Go number.  You call the Skype-To-Go number, and then from that number, you can call your boyfriend's landline (mobile will cost you money).  You can use any phone, and it will be the price of a local call.  I have free local calls, so for me it's free.  From my cell phone, I only use my monthly minutes.  It's absolutely brilliant, and I very much recommend it.