First Time back to the states....

As everyone can see, I've been here for just over 8 months and am leaving to visit the US tomorrow morning. I feel excited, happy, etc, but I also feel anxious and kind of upset about leaving the UK. I've worked hard to make this a home, and now I'm settled I'm slightly afraid to go back to the states. I'm worried that I won't like it as much, or on the other hand start disliking here and really missing the US. Lots of conflicting feelings to be honest. I flip flop between the excitement and the worry. And sometimes my family doesn't make it easy to visit them, as much as I love them, they drive me up the wall at times.

I'm not sure I painted the best picture about my feelings above, but was wondering if you felt this way too, and what you did and what it was like coming back to the UK after your first visit. Were you culture shocked? Did it make you home sick?

I don't miss the US that much at this point, and am wondering if I should've waited a longer time before visiting again so I don't set back the hard work I've done to make this a home. I dunno.

Thank you in advance for your kind words and stories.
xoxo

Please move if it should go somewhere else! Sorry in advance if I picked the wrong section (maybe expat?) Ta.

Yes, probably should be moved so you'll get the most appropriate responses.

It's good that you're thinking ahead about this stuff because it could be a bit of a shock to the system. I went back sort of often in my first year and a half and for me personally each time I went I missed the UK a bit more - probably because this became my home as time went on. I also found things in the US started really irritating me which I thought was weird because as much as I've always loved the UK, aside from the politics I've never really disliked the US per se. Suddenly things in the US started seeming really foreign to me.

You might find yourself feeling like neither country is "home" for a bit which is disconcerting, but it does pass the more you establish the UK as home. But it's a funny feeling to be a foreigner no matter what side of the pond you're on!!

If you feel like the UK is home, just treat your visit home like a vacation!

My feelings never changed, sometimes I feel a bit odd the first few days at either place, but where my house is, thats my home! So just enjoy it and don't over analyse!

It depends on the individual.

I went back to the US recently, for the first time since I'd moved to the UK, after an absence of almost 3 1/2 years.

I was thrilled to see my family, but it definitely did not feel like home. I was very glad to be back home in the UK.

But that's just me; there will be people on this board who will say they felt the opposite. There are people who have lived in the UK for a long time and still feel like the US is their real home.

I guess it's my uncertainty, because I won't know until I do it, then will have to deal with those feelings. I've made here a home, though and I kinda already miss it though I haven't left (especially since we have some Christmas Decorations up! )

AnneR- I am afraid things in the US will urk me too! I guess it's normal when you have been on the outside looking in. I think a lot of things will bother me (news, the over the top-ness that is the US etc) but I'm kinda used to hearing that for a while from DH.

Racheee- I should think of it that way! I'm going to try.

Sweetpeach- wow, 3.5 years is a long time. I might end up feeling the way you do.

Thank you all
x

yeh I feel similar to you I think - it was a bit weird going back but I treat it as a holiday now and am looking forward to Christmas in Arizona! It's odd for me to see how people have moved on (friends that got married married, have kids, etc) and that I missed that bit of their life but yeh. My family drives me up the wall too, some try to 'guilt-trip' me into moving back to the USA and I tend to miss the UK a lot too, but I enjoy my time and eating tons of good food! I think you'll be ok, try to have fun and have a good holiday, it's always hard to leave any place - airport goodbyes suck, so I try to have my family drop me off outside the terminal instead of coming in with me lol. I went to the US 4 months after living here and now go twice a year (summer / Christmas)...some things do annoy me about the way things are done in AZ but I get over it lol

I kinda felt that way my first time back...but I was also going back just for a wedding, so it was kinda odd.  Now after 4+ years in London, I see going to the States as a vacation.  I love visiting family, but recognize that I want to come back home to the UK, and now especially I'll want to do this as my DH and I own a home to come back to. 

I would just relax, enjoy the visit and then enjoy coming back.  You might miss a few US things when you return and miss a few UK things when you are there - but that's normal for two country peeps.

I'll admit, every time I go home I'm really sad to come back here. (I've lived here 5+ years and used to go back 3-4 times a year, but it's more like twice a year now with my son) Last March I sabotaged my whole trip by being upset that I had to leave three weeks later.  It stunk.  I vowed that I would not let that happen again and this past September/October I was much better.  I don't know what was different TBH, but I talked myself into being able to enjoy the time I had there.

That said, once I'm back here I'm usually fine within a few days.  For me, I look at both places as my home.  I can't imagine not thinking of my parents home as mine.  Hopefully for you it will not set anything back in terms of being settled. 

I hope you have a great time!

Thank you for all the help and sharing advice!

I'm back in the UK. Still feel a bit odd about the whole thing, but I really wanted my own bed and home at the end of the week! lol It's soooooooooo cold here, I'm going to have to readjust to that, but besides a bit of Jetlag I'm happy to be back. It was a nice trip over and back, and SO nice not to have to leave my DH's side FL isn't home to me (up north, NY NJ PA is) and never really was so it made things easier.  I actually became quite annoyed with the US news, massive portions, wastefulness, etc. Other than that the shiny image of the US in my head was made a lot less shiny.  Prices seem to have gone up and the pound dropping against the dollar didn't help. I am glad to be at home, just not work lol

Welcome back Steph!  I'm glad the UK is what feels like home, now--it makes things a lot easier.  I'm looking forward to going back to the US for my first visit sometime in 2009 with my hubby by my side as well.

Welcome back, Steph.  I am sure I will feel similarly when I return to visit the states with DH next year, though it will be soooo nice to go there with him, and come back with him, too!!!  Will be a first for us.  I have only been here for 5 months, but I already feel so different than I did before I moved here, I feel that sense of change in myself, and I really love the tranquil feeling I have here.  It will be hard in some ways for me to cope with the big crazy US city again, so I am sure I will be aching to get back to the UK. 
It's good that you feel at home here.   

Steph, I'm glad your experience turned out okay for you.   

I have only been here for 5 months, but I already feel so different than I did before I moved here, I feel that sense of change in myself, and I really love the tranquil feeling I have here.  It will be hard in some ways for me to cope with the big crazy US city again, so I am sure I will be aching to get back to the UK. 

I recognize that feeling.  Funny, isn't it?  Feeling like you've found home.  I never had too much trouble re-adjusting back and forth.  I guess if you can manage to go often enough you don't feel too out of whack (bit like jet lag, really)  The one time I did feel strange was when we went in the summer -- having always had to go at Christmas time.  I was kinda knocked over by seeing all the little "American" weeds and wildflowers in the woods that I had never thought about.  But they are different from what's in the UK.  Weird.  Also birds like blue jays -- very distinctive.

I recognize that feeling.  Funny, isn't it?  Feeling like you've found home.  I never had too much trouble re-adjusting back and forth.  I guess if you can manage to go often enough you don't feel too out of whack (bit like jet lag, really)  The one time I did feel strange was when we went in the summer -- having always had to go at Christmas time.  I was kinda knocked over by seeing all the little "American" weeds and wildflowers in the woods that I had never thought about.  But they are different from what's in the UK.  Weird.  Also birds like blue jays -- very distinctive.

I hope to NEVER go to Texas in the summer.  I had to live through too many painfully hot summers there to ever want to go back at that time of year (plus, I would like to keep DH around as long as possible, and wouldn't want to risk him having a heat stroke, he nearly died in May)!  But I would like to go in spring, still hot, but not unbearable (well it might be now that I am getting used to the cold a bit more) and maybe see some bluebonnets.