New to community, Advice!??

Hey everyone, been reading the fourms lately now i have something to contribute. Ill make it brief. i live in the USA, and recently spent 2 weeks in London, where i met a beautiful british woman. Long story short we have kept in contact both mutually interested! I am going back to london in 2months, and we plan to hang out again. My issue is im not to keen on the international dating thing. Is this worth pursuing? I knows its not easy. We had a strong chemistry and attraction, so going back makes me bit nervous, dont want to fall for her. I loved england but i dont know if i could live there in the long run if things were to work out, and im sure she would miss america if it ever came to such a thing. Seems only way a long distance could work. Any advice..success stories, tips...i know i didnt give much info...just not sure how i feel on the topic, and if i really want something of the sort. thanks

also want to note, ive read some topics in enduring the distance. I know most of you met online, where we met in person. I was hoping something like this didnt happen, distance is hard as is! I guess it does depend on the person as well, i def like hands on relationships, seems like lots of obstacles on this path, but then again, let love pass you by? lol

My advice, as cruel as it may seem, is that if you dont ever see yourself moving to the UK and if she wouldnt move to America (assuming you meant she would miss England too much since that is where she lives, right?) then I would not take this any further.  Long distance relationships are excrutiatingly difficult and I would not advise anyone to enter one if you dont see a way that you can be together in the future.  
If you arent keen on the "international dating thing", then don't start such a "thing".

My advice, as cruel as it may seem, is that if you dont ever see yourself moving to the UK and if she wouldnt move to America (assuming you meant she would miss England too much since that is where she lives, right?) then I would not take this any further.  Long distance relationships are excrutiatingly difficult and I would not advise anyone to enter one if you dont see a way that you can be together in the future.  
If you arent keen on the "international dating thing", then don't start such a "thing".

Yeah, and if you're asking a forum of people you've never met if a relationship is worth pursuing, maybe it isn't.

Sorry...we're not trying to gang up on you.

Syntax30, before you come for your next visit, perhaps you two could have a discussion about who is willing to do what if the relationship is serious.  Do you know for sure she wouldn't want to move?  Clearly, you don't sound keen on the idea. 

If you both are in agreement that moving to another country is not an option, then I think you should do as Mirrajay suggests and stop this before it goes any further.

Ok, I am going to go against the flow on this.  Before I say anything else I do think Devinshire makes a good point when she said "if you are asking a forum if a relationship is worth pursing then maybe you shouldn't."  Perhaps the fire really isn't there and it was just the thrill of being in London with a beautiful woman, then again perhaps it is there, you are super freaked out and you want people who have had similar situations tell you it is all right and worth the struggle.  With that said...

I am assuming you haven't known her for long since you said you were recently there which also means it might be weird to have a heavy conversation this early (everyone and every relationship is different, I am just speaking from my own point of view).  What I would do, if I was in your situation, or at least what you have told us of your situation, is go and make the second trip.  Two and half months isn't that long, you have a counter which makes me think you might be excited to do it, it gives you and her some time to do the distance conversation getting to know each other thing and the next time you see each other you can evaluate if the fire is really there.  Perhaps that would be a good time to bring up the where can this go conversation.

I do agree with the other posters that if you are sure you'll never move and she won't move then you should end it, but also don't put the cart before the horse, if you know what I mean.  Good luck and welcome!

Thanks everyone for replying, and thank you goods. I am asking forum because of what goods said, it freaked me out a bit, so does the idea, and wanted to ask people who have been in the situation, and if it worked out well, even possible! As for the conversation between us, seems to soon. timeline...this was all in october, fast forward to now 5months later. We've kept it very .."casual" but lately its been bit different due to im actually going back. You are right on the going back seeing if its really there, or was just the whole "london experience as well". Ive never had such chemistry before and ive dated many woman, so guess round 2 will shed some light. We casually talked about, you think you could live here, vice versa, both saying we would miss things, so there was no serious talk on it, as it is young and new. Was just a heavy chemistry and attraction, and im still surprised we communicate!

Give it a whirl, if its meant to be, fantastic! If not, you had a great time and have great memoris.

This is coming from someone who was in your position in 1997 and is now married 10 years with a 3 year old and another kid on the way.

Or, as the British say, Suck it and see. It might be the best thing you ever did! And if not, heck, chalk it up to experience...Not to bring up this old chestnut, but "Better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all "

I'm with Racheeee (disclaimer: I have not done the international long distance thing, but I have done the long distance thing in the same country before, many many miles apart)
If you're enjoying yourself, why change it? You never know how life is meant to turn out!  If you're needing to evaluate if its worth it, than perhaps its not meant to be.  But, hey, give a go, I don't see any reason why not if you're both happy and content with what's working for you! 

 *update
 Today i asked her where she thinks this is going etc, which she said i dont know, and obviously it would be different if we were on same continent, theres not much we can do. Keep in mind were young 21 and 23, both in school. I told her we probably should not speak as much, and play it by ear. I guess will see what happens when i go back to london in 2months. I also have recently broken up with a girlfriend, due to issues, and lately my thoughts being to Miss UK. So its a tough situation all around. I apperciate all the comments and advice.

Playing things by ear is probably the best thing to do right now.  Not to be all doom and gloom, but long-distance relationships are really tough.  All the travel gets ridiculously expensive, the distance is taxing on the heart and once you DO get together, there's culture shock to deal with.  My opinon is that if you're going to enter into a LDR with someone, you both have to be really into each other.  Otherwise, don't bother.


But don't mind me, Syntax.  I'm just missing my husband (he's in UK, I'm in US) and feeling bitter today.  Damn distance...

Playing things by ear is probably the best thing to do right now.  Not to be all doom and gloom, but long-distance relationships are really tough.  All the travel gets ridiculously expensive, the distance is taxing on the heart and once you DO get together, there's culture shock to deal with.  My opinon is that if you're going to enter into a LDR with someone, you both have to be really into each other.  Otherwise, don't bother.


But don't mind me, Syntax.  I'm just missing my husband (he's in UK, I'm in US) and feeling bitter today.  Damn distance...

This. It's important to go into a LDR with certain thoughts in the back of your head, about who will do the moving, what the immigration process will be like, what being apart will do to each of you. I would say that it's really hard, and I was 21 when I got into the one I'm in at the moment, but for me it was totally worth it, and 3 years later I'm starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel. If you guys do some soul searching, and you find that you're really into each other, then you can pursue things, but it doesn't hurt to take it slow and find out how you feel about each other. If you guys eventually see it going farther, great, give it a shot; if you guys don't, then that's okay too, at least you considered the possibility

And don't worry devinshire, I feel your pain. I got a bit down today myself and started stressing about my visa, and I felt kinda bitter too

Syntax, is there any chance one or the other of you could do a semester abroad, since you're both students?  That would give you a chance to see each other more normally without a major commitment. 

history, i wish i could. That is very expensive to do, school and expenses. I actually met her because my friend did a semester abroad and i visited for few weeks. Now i was reallly looking into the BUNAC program(which closed down) due to the new tier 5 youth mobility scheme..which im heavily following. I would def love to join in that program if the US would open up! Im really hoping on such a thing! I think were both young and semi apprehensive about the whole  thing. i know if we lived closer our true selves would come about. Like i said when i go back in few months and we get together, hopefully that will give some insight into the future. Im glad to hear people responding to this!