From the MSN website:
Ten things we noticed in the England-Switzerland game
June 18. An occasional column offering an alternative view of Euro 2004. By MSN's Matt Ball
1. Matt Smith profiling Wayne Rooney in the pre-match build-up
“Remember the name. Remember the game.” Yes, we do.
2. ITV profiling the England team before kick-off. Twice.
This is now getting too much to take. Gareth ‘personality’ Southgate gives us the England team line-up – which we all already know. Andy ‘where’s my tactics truck?’ Townsend introduces the Swiss team with his usual in-depth insights (their midfielders are, apparently, “busy”). And then we get the England players introducing themselves: “Michael Owen – striker.” Yes, we know.
3. Clive Tyldesley’s amazing similes
As the teams come out Clive looks at all the cross of St George flags with the names of small English towns emblazoned across the middle and says: “It’s like thumbing through a book of England roadmaps.” Time to get out more, Clive.
4. Swiss goalkeeper Joerg Stiel
He’s the oldest player in the tournament, don’t you know? Yes, we do because you keep telling us.
5. An advertising break without Sir Bobby Charlton and MasterCard
Priceless.
6. “Live and interactive”
Yes, following our continual criticism of ITV’s “live and exclusive” mantra, it has been dropped in favour of this new vacuous marketing spin. I pressed the red button on my remote control to see what would happen. It turned out to be the on-off switch.
7. Sir Bobby Robson referring to the Swiss as “the Swedes”
The difference is that we can beat the Swiss, Bobby.
8. Clive Tyldesley’s amazing puns
Referring to the fact that England had won only one game since qualifying for Euro 2004 Clive stated that the sole victory (a 6-1 thrashing) was against a “melting Iceland”. Genius.
9. England win a free kick 35 yards from goal
Sir Bobby Robson is certain that David Beckham will have a “pop”. This is a handy term all budding pundits should add to their lexicon. Synonyms include “dig”, “crack”, “go” and the much over-rated “shot”. As it was, Gerrard played it short.
10. The only team to win a European championship after losing its first match was Holland in 1988.
Yes, we know.