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Topic: getting ready to move over, and have small "what the ()&*)!&#& am I doing?!"  (Read 1515 times)

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I'm getting ready to move over to be with my partner.  I am so excited about it, but I get these fears every now and again about making this massive move!  I'm giving up seeing my nieces grow, seeing friends and talking to family regularly.  I so want to make this move to be with my partner, and have a "normal" relationship.  Can anyone just tell me that once over there, the culture shock isn't as bad as I my fears make them out to be? That families still stay "close" when one is thousands of miles away?  Bring rationality to my head!!! HA


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i feel very similar the closer my move date draws near.  i think part of it is that i was so panicked over the thought of not being with my boyfriend that i threw all of my energy into the visa process and making the long-distance work, and once that was taken care of...the move suddenly became very real and now that is all i can focus on.  i'm having a hard time justifying leaving my family behind, but i have to remind myself that i'm going to start a family of my own and that i'm not the only one who has ever done something this difficult.  it helps to have this board and to know my panic is somewhat normal!  good luck with your move!


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I keep saying the same things to myself!!I have gotten rid of literally everything I own!  I'm down to clothes and a few sentimental items.  The panic is ridiculous!  How's your family doing with your pending move? When is your planned arrival?


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i've actually just had to push my arrival back until early august :(  but it gives me a bit more time to prepare my family, at least!  my dad is totally supportive, but my mom...not so much.  she knows it's in the works but is sort of in denial at this stage.  i am thinking of holding off on giving her my exact move date until about a month before just so i can have one more visit home without drama (that sounds awful when i type it out). 

my current lease is up at the end of may, so i'm in the midst of paring down my belongings since i'll be staying with my dad temporarily until i go.  it's so torturous to go through everything!  when do you move?   


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I'm headed over in four weeks from today! I let go of my apartment in December so I could start saving more for the months of not working! Selling my car this week, letting my cats settle into someone else's home. ugh. So so so much detail work.  I'm not a detail oriented person at all!  Your mom will be happy when she sees you happy, I'm sure!  My mom is actually getting married tomorrow to a frenchman and will be living in France! So that will be nice.  But the rest of my family is supportive just know though that we wont be seeing a whole lot of each other from now on.  My partner wants to move to america after several years though. where will you be living??


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oh wow, that's so exciting about your mom moving to france!!  so great that you will be within a relatively short distance of each other!

i will be living in cambridge, what about you?


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I'm headed to Cardiff, Wales!    Tell me about this boyfriend of your's!  How'd you meet (internet or school I would assume?) how long have you been together?  You know the typical questions for such long distances....what are you most scared about in this move?  What will you miss most about here, besides family-that's a given!


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oh i love cardiff!  i visited about 5 years ago and thought it was a wonderful place! 

we met while he was here working and dated for 9 months before he had to move back to the uk for a new job.  have done long distance since july 08 and very excited for that to finally end!  i think i'm mostly scared about finding a job...i've worked really hard to establish a career over here and worry about sacrificing that and starting all over at something more entry level over there.  it's hard to pinpoint what i'll miss about america, but i will miss so many things about boston such as specific restaurants and bars, etc.  i already live pretty far from where i grew up, so i feel like i've been in the throes of missing my home state for the past three years.  i'm sure not being able to visit as often will make going home even harder now.  what about yourself?

 


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Rob and I met through church stuff. That first sight of each other it was like finding peace and had an instant sense of comfort.  We've been doing this distance thing now 14 months.  But we have been able to make a trip about every 3 months. He comes here, then I go there.  I'm excited to not have my only time seeing him on vacation!  I want real life!  I find right now, where we are both excited about this move, and I'm totally freaked the closer it gets, the more arguing we have been doing!  Just stupid stuff...but still when you can't always see facial expressions or read a person's mood the little things suck!  I'm just ready to start the new life!  It has taken me 8 years to finally finish school, so no real career that I'm leaving. I have just helped to care for elderly people who have alzheimer's for the last several years. I will hate random long distant road trips!  I will miss seeing wide open spaces (originally from kansas!) and I will miss all the food that is seasoned!!! 


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Culture shock here can sneak up on you in little unexpected ways all the time.  And families do stay "close" from such a distance, but you really need to work at it.  My family is great about calling me all the time, but I sometimes have to hound my friends to keep them in touch with me.  I don't mind, though. :)
"Where is human nature so weak as in the bookstore?" ~Henry Ward Beecher



I will miss all the food that is seasoned!!! 

Hiya...
I'm not 100% sure what you mean by this, but... don't worry.  Food here is seasoned too.


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Hiya...
I'm not 100% sure what you mean by this, but... don't worry.  Food here is seasoned too.

Definitely!  I had some exxxxtremely seasoned food myself last night (I made it!) - with that Lupe Pintos jalapeƱo chile powder plus green chile salsa.   ;D
Ring the bells that still can ring
Forget your perfect offering
There is a crack, a crack in everything
That's how the light gets in...

- from Anthem, by Leonard Cohen (b 1934)


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That families still stay "close" when one is thousands of miles away?  Bring rationality to my head!!!

If your family likes travelling, then you've got a good shot. If they don't, then YOU'll need to be pro-active on the emailing and telephoning... It's my opinion, coming from a family of lots of aunties, uncles and cousins who I was always close to..........that it will always come down to YOU making the effort, not them.... (My father rings maybe once every 3 months and then rushes to get off the phone anyway..) The nice thing is when you visit, you pick up where you left off...
"When a man is tired of London, he is tired of life; for there is in London all that life can afford." - Samuel Johnson


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