Terrified of flying + first time flying overseas!

I'm moving to Edinburgh from Phoenix in 5 days! OMG!
I'm pretty scared of flying, the last time I flew was about 2 years ago and it was just to Texas. I'll be doing a Phoenix ---> (roughly 5 hours) New York (roughly 8 hours) ----> Edinburgh flight and I'm a little freaked out. Not to mention I developed a double ear infection two days ago!!!
Any advice on how to stay calm and enjoy the travel instead of being a mess?
I haven't seen my fiance since Jan 11th and I want to look lovely when I get off the plane, not haggard from being so anxious to fly!

My advice on staying calm is to watch the cabin crew, they always look so calm and collected and they do this flying thing everyday! I like to listen to them gossiping and talking about their plans for when they land, that always makes me feel better. Also, if you let them know you are a nervous flyer, they might pay a bit of attention to you, which is a nice thing.

Good luck, you will be fine. Think positively!!!

You might consider an over the counter sleeping tablet for the NY-Edinburgh leg.  The cabin pressure will not be your friend if you have an ear infection, so you'll probably find it difficult to sleep, but will feel much better if you do.  Maybe Tylenol PM in case you get a headache?  A sleep mask helps as well.  You can get lavender-scented ones to help you relax.  Also, I always bring my own blanket and pillowcase.  It's comforting to have something familiar surrounding you when you're squished into an airplane seat next to a stranger.   

Above all, don't worry.  Flying is really a very safe way to travel.  People do it every day with no disasters.  The pilots and cabin crews are professionals, and they'll take care of you.  It'll be fine! 

My advice on staying calm is to watch the cabin crew, they always look so calm and collected and they do this flying thing everyday! I like to listen to them gossiping and talking about their plans for when they land, that always makes me feel better. Also, if you let them know you are a nervous flyer, they might pay a bit of attention to you, which is a nice thing.

This! The idea of getting on a plane usually gives me a panic attack, so most of the time I use pharmacology to get me through flights, but if I can't, the best way of dealing with it that I've found is to tell the flight crew in your area that you're a nervous flyer and then just watch them when you get nervous. They'll also often check in on you during flight if you let them know.

I remember flying back home on my birthday some years ago, and the landing was hellish. The flight attendant moved me to a seat near his jump seat, held my hand the entire time and explained the reason behind every bump and noise and jerk.  And after landing, gave me a muffin as a birthday present. They are real saints sometimes.

And, I hope people correct me of I'm wrong, but you might want to take a decongestant before your flight as it might ease the pressure-change pain due to your infection.

I do flights very similar to you, Portland to Newark, Newark to Birmingham so it's roughly 5 hours for the first and 7 for the second. I always feel like death warmed over when I see Steve if it makes you feel any better But I carry small amounts of makeup in my carry-on so I can reapply it for when I get into the UK, it makes me feel more human.

But I understand your anxiety especially with an ear infection Definitely take some meds with you to try and relieve pressure/dull the pain if there's anything that does that for you. I try taking Tylenol PM but I'm too nervous/excited on my Newark to Birmingham flight for it to work, but it might be enough to help you sleep. And definitely find things to occupy your mind--I've been told to pack a 'goody' bag for my carry-on with magazines and books with lots of pictures to take your mind off of things (pictures can be much more distracting than words), music, just whatever comforts you as long as it's TSA friendly of course 

My anticipatory anxiety is the worst, the last few days before I fly out--my stomach doesn't like me, and I normally get about 3 whole hours of sleep the night before I fly out. But when I get to the airport I'm actually really excited, since it's one step closer to seeing Steve--let that excitement of seeing your fiance overcome your anxiety

wearing ear plugs should help ease some of the ear discomfort since you've just recently come down with the ear infection.  they always recommend it for babies, whose ears are most sensitive to the change in pressure.  i'd also take some sort of decongestant, as well...

thanks for your comments, everyone. I did buy some decongestant, and i'm taking that and plan to before I fly as well... I also sucked it up and went to the ER (only place I could go and not pay since I'm uninsured) and the DR prescribed me some antibiotic ear drops. I really hope this makes the infection go away before I have to fly!
I'm going to channel all of my anxiety and panic into excitement to see my man!!

Buy a large bottle of water before you board the plane. The air is so drying on the long haul flight and I've found that I start to get stressed out about getting a drink. As long as I have a water bottle I feel better and I have found that I don't feel quite as rough when I arrive in Europe because I'm not dehydrated. It also makes me feel better to wash my face and apply some make up before I pick up my bags at the airport.

Watching the flight attendants is great advice. We had bad turbulence on my last flight and they just kept working as normal. I figure if they're not nervous, I won't be either!

And, I hope people correct me of I'm wrong, but you might want to take a decongestant before your flight as it might ease the pressure-change pain due to your infection.

Yes, I'd just got over the flu the last time we flew to the US (end of December) and my ears hurt quite badly on the flight over.  My SIL told me to get some Zyrtec for the trip home (we weren't in the US very long that trip) & start taking it a couple of days before the flight just to get me dried out - it worked a treat & the flight home to the UK was much more comfortable, I even slept a bit!

Valium? I HATE HATE HATE flying and I take this on my SF to London flights and back.

Buy a large bottle of water before you board the plane. The air is so drying on the long haul flight and I've found that I start to get stressed out about getting a drink.

On this note, also take a small tube of face and hand moisturizer with you, and a lip balm. I promise, this stuff is worth its weight in gold on a long flight. Just remember that they fit the 3-1-1 rule: 3oz or less, and all your liquid stuff you're carrying on fits into a single 1-quart plastic ziplock bag.

Troubleandstrife recommended Valium and maybe that's something you should think about too. Or maybe something like Xanax. I, personally, swear by Ambien, but some of its side effects are a little disconcerting, and will probably be a bit much to deal with on top of the stress of your first long-distance flight.

On this note, also take a small tube of face and hand moisturizer with you, and a lip balm. I promise, this stuff is worth its weight in gold on a long flight. Just remember that they fit the 3-1-1 rule: 3oz or less, and all your liquid stuff you're carrying on fits into a single 1-quart plastic ziplock bag.

Troubleandstrife recommended Valium and maybe that's something you should think about too. Or maybe something like Xanax. I, personally, swear by Ambien, but some of its side effects are a little disconcerting, and will probably be a bit much to deal with on top of the stress of your first long-distance flight.

Ambien will put me down for the count for near 24 hours!

I take an empty water bottle with me, and fill it up with water before the flight. I also wash off all my makeup, brush my teeth, and put on face cream before I get on the flight, like I'm going to bed. Then in London I go to the bathroom and wash my face, brush my teeth, put on a full face of makeup, and jazz up my hair a bit.

Last time I got to Newcastle DBF said he was expecting me to look haggard, but I looked like a supermodel. He's too kind, but I did look and feel good.

The flight attendant moved me to a seat near his jump seat, held my hand the entire time and explained the reason behind every bump and noise and jerk.  And after landing, gave me a muffin as a birthday present.

That was so nice!

I used to arrive at the airport 5 hours early so I could drink enough at the bar to combat my fear of flying. But I've since learned a lot about the mechanics of a plane, and it's not nearly as frightening! Air travel is very, very, very safe.

One thing I always think about is that the turbulance in the air won't bring the plane down. Enjoy your trip!

I take an empty water bottle with me, and fill it up with water before the flight. I also wash off all my makeup, brush my teeth, and put on face cream before I get on the flight, like I'm going to bed. Then in London I go to the bathroom and wash my face, brush my teeth, put on a full face of makeup, and jazz up my hair a bit.

Last time I got to Newcastle DBF said he was expecting me to look haggard, but I looked like a supermodel. He's too kind, but I did look and feel good.

I do this too!!!