Facebook 'Divorce' Dilemma

I may be the lone voice of dissent here, but I do think you may be over-reacting a bit here - at least without knowing the full circumstances of the situation.  I'd reserve judgment until you've had a chance to talk to your aunt - everyone seems to be assuming that your cousin's girlfriend has acted without your aunt's permission, but what if your aunt was showing her the photos and bragging about her cute little great-niece?  Even if the girlfriend was accessing your aunt's account without her knowledge, and even if she's some sort of drug fiend, what possible effect will her having viewed photos of your daughter actually HAVE on your daughter?

I'm with Meg.  The likely scenario in my mind is that your aunt was on the computer, your cousin's girlfriend looked over, saw a cute baby and asked who it was.  And she was just being friendly/polite by telling you.

As Bmore has just stated, if these were physical pictures hanging in someone's house, you better believe tons of "strangers" would see them and it would be completely appropriate.  Facebook is the new living room. 

That is a fantastic analogy, and I totally agree.  If you would object to someone displaying pictures of yourself or your family in their living room or having them in a physical photo album, you shouldn't give them access to the photos in the first place, whether that's through email or on a site like facebook.

So, I have 'divorced' my aunt if she wants to be added back on I better get an apology and an explanation.

For the record, she's my daughter, and it's my husband & my decision. My Aunt disregarded my decision. Because, if I really didn't care who can see my daughter, then my photos would be public for everyone to see.

If you haven't talked to her and told her what she did to upset you, I very seriously doubt she will apologize or explain.  Unless you specifically told her, there is no way for your aunt to know that you have limited the access of your pictures.  Yes it is your decision and if you want photos of your daughter to be kept private then you have that right...but it is a little unorthodox and to most people in the world, they would not see anything wrong with sharing the pictures of your daughter with other people (especially someone who is pretty much a family member, whether you've met them or not).  Unless you had previously discussed the fact that you are abnormally private about sharing pictures, I honestly believe your aunt will be clueless on what she's done to upset you.

I think if you allow people access to your personal data you have to take it that they are free to do with that information what they will.  You cannot instruct someone else how to handle their facebook account.

Yes, exactly.

If you would object to someone displaying pictures of yourself or your family in their living room or having them in a physical photo album, you shouldn't give them access to the photos in the first place, whether that's through email or on a site like facebook.

I agree with this, too.  I would even go so far as to say that if you object to someone displaying/sharing photos of yourself or your family *in any way, shape or form* then you shouldn't give them access to the photos in the first place.

For the record, she's my daughter, and it's my husband & my decision. My Aunt disregarded my decision. Because, if I really didn't care who can see my daughter, then my photos would be public for everyone to see.

Was your aunt ever explicitly informed of your decision?  If your cousin's girlfriend hadn't messaged you and told you she'd seen the photos, but your aunt later mentioned she'd shown them to the girlfriend, would you be so angry with your aunt?  Are you more irritated by the fact that your aunt allowed this girl to access the photos, or because she messaged you and gave you a compliment, or because your privacy "rules" have been violated?  I fully understand the concept of wanting to maintain a level of privacy when it comes to photos and the internet - but you cannot reasonably assume that everyone has the same priorities as you and your husband when it comes to your daughter.

If you haven't talked to her and told her what she did to upset you, I very seriously doubt she will apologize or explain. 

IAWTC, too.

I don't think you are wrong to be surprised, or even a little taken aback, by the message from the girlfriend.  I do, however, think you have overreacted by defriending your aunt, especially if you have done so without explaining what has prompted your action, as it sounds like you have. If you removed her from your friends list with no explanation and are hoping she will notice and contact you with a grovelling apology, I imagine you will be waiting a long time....

a bit of an older post,but thought I'd say something. I only have roughly about 80 . And usually every 6 months or so I go through my list of people and start deleting people who it seems only added me to get their friends number up. I hate when people only want to add me because they think facebook is a popularity contest.  The other day I had to delete someone who i use to be good friends with. When we worked together we were very close,would hang out outside of work all the time and our kids played together. but once i left the company, i didnt get any more texts,no emails, no nothing. So I deleted her.