Fear of Flying

I found flying in a small Golden Pacific plane was actually kinda cool -- maybe because it wasn't so high up and you could see the ground (??) Or maybe it was because my cousin's wife's brother was the pilot (?)
My mother had a boyfriend (this was back in the 1930's) who had his own plane. She used to go up with him and he would let her take the controls (not take-off and landing obviously) and she loved it. Never minded flying.
I think most of my phobia came from the death of a high school classmate in a plane crash. This was the horrific Sabena crash back in 1961 where the entire US figure skating team was wiped out. My friend was Laurence Owen who was the singles hope for the World Championship. Also her sister (doubles) and their mother (their coach). Back in those days there was no counselling provided for us at school so I think we were all pretty traumatized.

I found flying in a small Golden Pacific plane was actually kinda cool -- maybe because it wasn't so high up and you could see the ground (??) Or maybe it was because my cousin's wife's brother was the pilot (?)
My mother had a boyfriend (this was back in the 1930's) who had his own plane. She used to go up with him and he would let her take the controls (not take-off and landing obviously) and she loved it. Never minded flying.
I think most of my phobia came from the death of a high school classmate in a plane crash. This was the horrific Sabena crash back in 1961 where the entire US figure skating team was wiped out. My friend was Laurence Owen who was the singles hope for the World Championship. Also her sister (doubles) and their mother (their coach). Back in those days there was no counselling provided for us at school so I think we were all pretty traumatized.

Yikes! Well, I've always been a little afraid of flying, but one of my college classmates was killed in a small commercial plane crash in Missouri a few years ago and I've been a lot more afraid since then, though I guess since I know someone who was killed in a plane crash, the chances of something happening to me might be slimmer somehow? That sounds horrible to say, though.  He was such a nice guy, and so young and talented. 

My mom *always* tracks my flight...I think it makes her feel better to see that my flight path stays very close to land most of the way and she is able to know that I've landed right away, etc.  I know she does it, but I don't even think about it, honestly.  The only reason I find it reassuring is that I know I don't have to call her if we're delayed coming to visit her because she will have seen it before I even know!

I also have trouble with tiny planes...basically, anything that requires you to walk out onto the runway and climb up stairs to get on will leave me trembling.  I tend to be fine with larger planes, but I do try to pick seats that are in the back of the plane/behind the wings when I can (even though I know this isn't 100 percent proven to be the safest, but it makes me feel better). 

My dad was flying to Japan once and his plane was struck by lightning while they were over the ocean.  They lost all power for a minute and the plane went pitch black, but the emergency lights soon came on and the engines were fine, so they kept going and made it without a hitch to Japan.  I go back and forth between finding this reassuring (hey, if a plane can be hit by lightning and can still fly for 10 more hours, surely planes must be safe) and finding this terrifying (omg, my plane could get struck by lightning!).   

This said, I had really terrible turbulence flying to Germany once in late winter, but otherwise, my international flights have all been pretty smooth. 

though I guess since I know someone who was killed in a plane crash, the chances of something happening to me might be slimmer somehow? That sounds horrible to say, though. 

Well yeah, there is that factor. But then I remember how many flights I've been on and maybe my number's coming up All totally irrational, I know.