New MIL and XMAS

I just got married 11/28/09 and my husbands mom was freaking out before we did because she didnt know me...Now she apologized to my husband and wanted to know when I get there...

Question?
I bought her a Xmas card to be nice and noted cant wait to get to know her more...

Is this weird maybe I should just wait till next xmas?

My husband got to meet my parents but not stepdad and hang out with them.  His mom and dad are married but dont live together and I loved his dad as we got to have a few beers together.  His mom was very nice but we only met for 30 min..

Ideas? help?

She is British, right?  I would say something like 'looking forward to spending time with you in the New Year'.  I probably would refrain from 'can't wait to get to know you' as it's a bit much.  Just my opinion!

I think a card would be appropriate. I'm having to write things like "looking forward to meeting you" in cards to Tim's family.

*edit* I'm on with Tim and I read him the post, and he suggests you be yourself. If "can't wait" is how you feel ,use it

Do you talk on the phone much? I felt so much guilt that my husbands parents couldn't make the wedding but I felt closer to them by sneaking in a "hello, how are you" when he is on the phone with his mom, also a few times when he went to go see them I would call him when he is there and ask him to let me talk to his mom or he would always say "would you like to speak with her quick". Really helped putting their minds at rest about it all and was touched to start receiving cards from his parents on holidays and postcards when they would travel. I do think a card is a great idea, and maybe a call... I am not the most outgoing person, sometimes shy as anything but I knew it would mean something to them.

*edit* I'm on with Tim and I read him the post, and he suggests you be yourself.

Be yourself - authenticity with your MIL is the best way for the relationship to proceed as that is how you'll have to interact in future as well.  It can be tough at times when the cultural differences come into play - but authentic interactions are always better.

Be yourself - authenticity with your MIL is the best way for the relationship to proceed as that is how you'll have to interact in future as well.  It can be tough at times when the cultural differences come into play - but authentic interactions are always better.

One thing I've noticed is Tim's family actually embracing my Americanisms.

One thing I've noticed is Tim's family actually embracing my Americanisms.

Awesome sauce! -

But seriously that's wonderful! 

ZB, I think that sounds nice. I would give her the card. I believe I did something similar with my in-law's (including brother and sister-in-laws) and said something to like I was looking forward to spending time with them or getting to know them better, or something like that. They all thought it was sweet. They all gave me "Welcome to your new house" cards when I moved in, which was really touching. Plus housewarming gifts that included things like a brand new washing machine and other astonishing generosities.

I can relate to having your in-laws be pretty upset about a fast marriage when they don't know you very well. I spent an evening with DH's parents and we all got along great (we stayed up drinking Metaxa brandy until 2am, it was a riot!) but they still got upset when DH announced our engagement just after I met them and that we were getting married 2 months later in America. It was a big blow for them. His mother lost a lot of weight because she was really upset about it all (mostly upset about how DH's baby mama was going to handle it - I think MIL was really worried about the ex freaking out and not letting anyone see the baby anymore, which was understandable.) And I think they were also worried that I would back out of moving here, or move here and then leave a few months later because I hated it or something, and leave their youngest son broken-hearted. I can see why they were worried. They did make an effort to show me around town and include me in things when I first moved here, though there was a bit of confusion between us because of our accents. It was a bit awkward at first, and my MIL is sort of rigid when you first meet her - not like my family members, who just dive in for a hug for the first time they meet someone! But I have realised what a warm and caring person she is underneath the tough exterior and I know she truly loves me and cares about me now. Don't worry, it will just take time.

Ok I went with being me
" I look forward to being there in Feb and getting to know you"

she is a super down to earth person as the time we met we joked and laughed and was not what I imagined a typical British mum would be.

Jewlz - oh god it sounds like Kevin's mum...Let's recall I was pregnant and she was freaking out about 1. I am gonna move over and then take his kid out of the country 2. I will leave him while he is on the rig 3. I am going to take him for all his money and he will have nothing 4. what kind of family does she have, I (the mom) doesn't know her 5. How will she survive here in the UK she doesnt know anyone

He had to put her in her place and now she is super nice but no I don't talk on the phone with her maybe I should <humm> I am sending the card to Kevin to give to her...
She is happy for us now as best as she can be as I know its a big adjustment.
She ran into his BF Jef who was in our wedding and obviously flew over for it and she questioned him and of course he gushed how great my family and friends were.  How we were perfect together and never seen him happier then all of a sudden she called to ask about details and then told Kevin Jef couldnt say enough nice things.  She has known Jef for 25years!
<phew> thank god for that hee hee

I guess I just wanted full acceptance right away they way my family would.  I mean yes my mom cried and freaked out BUT only because she thought she would have me in the states for another year - she knew I loved that man and it would happen but just not so fast.

thanks for the holy ramble here
Jenn

Ok I went with being me
" I look forward to being there in Feb and getting to know you"

Sounds perfect!

I guess I just wanted full acceptance right away they way my family would. 

Good luck on this one.  I hope your experience is different than mine, I've known my in-laws for almost two years and still am treated like an alien outsider.

awww sorry mirra...
Actually his dad and mom are married but don't live together (they get along better that way)
His dad is awesome and liked me from the get go and mom is warming up and his sister was super nice so I can only hope good things ;-)

See none of them drive either and I will so that is nice to be able to pick up dad and go for a pint on Fridays or grab his mom and hit ASDA ;-)

Jenn, you are a wonderful, funny, adorable person and I am sure his family will love you!

Mirrajay, you are wonderful, too, and it's their loss if they don't want to get close to you. ((HUGS)).