Just looking for fellow Americans in the UK who I can talk to:)

My story is a long and sad one, so I won't post it unless someone really wants to know. To make a long story short...  I am an American married to a Scotsman.  I lived in Scotland for a good chunk of 2009 and then came back to the US (and regretted it almost immediately).  I had a lot of trouble adjusting to life in the UK for many many reasons.  Now I am pretty sure I am moving back to Scotland (for good).  I am really looking to hear stories of others who had trouble adjusting and overcame it.  Or maybe those who had no trouble adjusting at all. 
I am also just looking to make friends over in the UK.  I already have a few over there, but I think my American expat friends have seriously saved my sanity many times.  Anyone who has never moved to the UK just cannot understand (as hard as they may try). 
Anyway...I am a really friendly person and love chatting to others like me.

Or maybe those who had no trouble adjusting at all. 

This would be me!
It was 1985 when I moved to Glasgow, and things were a lot different then, which probably made it easier for me... no internet, no cheap phone calls, no constant links/reminders of American culture.  You just arrived, and got on with life.  I loved it, and never looked back.

It must be even harder with kids... when I did it, it was just me.  I had no one else to think about/ worry about, etc;  so I have sympathy for you.

If i remember correctly from your previous posts, you had lived in Dumbarton.  I am in Dumbarton at least once a week, and it doesn't seem that bad to me... but living there might be another matter.   

If you really hate Dumbarton, and your husband is happy to move to Glasgow, that might make things better/easier for you.   I remember you were talking about possibly moving to Ibrox... not most people's first choice (especially when they are Celtic supporters!).   A lot of places in Glasgow have rough edges, and are still great places to live, though... just choose carefully, especially as you have kids.

Hello

No trouble adjusting. Probably helped being half and half and having travelled all over as a kid. I won't say things are always smooth but that'd be the case anywhere.

Sorry you had some problems adjusting. But that is perfectly understandable.

I live up in the northeast in Angus. Lovely neck of the woods but then again the whole country is lovely (ok there might be a cople of pockets to avoid but overall it's good).

Winter in Scotland and summer in MN. I would change that to summer in Scotland and winter in MN.  I love snow and winter. Unfortunately Scotland is cold in the winter but it's not really wintery with the snow and all that. Perhaps places in the highlands.

There is always someone who can sympathise, empathsise or advise so post away. We're a fairly friendly bunch.

Hi there! I haven't had too many problems adjusting - I moved to northeastern England just over a year and half ago, close to the Scottish border. I can say it wasn't always exactly smooth sailing and it has taken some getting used to, but we live in a tiny village and have a very simple life for the most part, and to be honest, I am happier and more relaxed than I have ever been. Of course, just adjusting to everyone's accents and different ways of doing things and accepting the fact that I will always be, in a way, different from everyone else here because I grew up in a different country were sometimes difficult adjustments at first. Now, it's just getting through the driving test and gaining some independence to make my life complete! (My test is one week from today... eeek!) It isn't normally easy for people to start completely over, which is essentially what you do when you move to a new place - you have to find a new job, make new friends, "learn" to drive again, and do a lot of things differently than you normally would. But I have to say that this forum has been a fantastic outlet for me. You reach this place in the middle where you are no longer just American, but you aren't completely British, either. And so your American friends you left behind don't completely "get it" nor do your British friends here completely "get it." So here we have a bunch of people who are just in the middle somewhere, so we can all relate to each other (for the most part!) I have made such valuable friends here - both those who I am fortunate enough to spend time with in the real world, and those who are there for me on the other side of this machine. Welcome!!! 

I arrived in May. And, well, I'll admit that I am having a hard time adjusting. Largely, it is because I cannot transfer my career here easily. The economy does not help either.

I still have hope. My DH has a great job and we can manage on what we've got. I say manage, however, as I would not mind thriving with both of us employed. This, and I've never been the stay-at-home type.

Further, we are still in a furnished rental, and I'm looking forward to the place we are buying so we can get ahold of the stuff we shipped over that is still in storage. So, I'm not exactly comfortable at home yet, either. Hopefully everything will work out with the home purchase...

My experience of the NHS has been rough. I had an unanticipated medical emergency, and with a two-yankee-person household, we did not know how to navigate things properly. I think I'm getting more accustomed to it now. And, with advice from the boards here, I am managing better. (Major problem: my assigned GP office does not have a regular GP, but has an irregular rotation of trainee-doctors... which are hit and miss....) 

Oh, and this is silly, but the really fabulous burrito shop that opened in this small city closed after only two months... I keep praying they'll reopen, but it's not looking promising...

Less silly, there was an enormous (several thousand people) Neo-Nazi rally in the city last weekend. THAT made me uncomfortable.

Things that I enjoy: the public library is decent, the leisure centre/pool is inexpensive and offers women's hours in which the local female muslim community attends. There's a great asian grocery store in town.

It takes time to adapt. And, I'm willing to put in the time.

Unlike the few above me I'm having a horrible time adjusting.  It's pretty much on a daily basis I wish I was back home in the States.  It's for so many reasons as well.  One reason is obviously because I miss my family so so much.  I'm extremely close with my sister and her three kids and it kills me to only watch them grow up on the webcam.  My brother and his wife just recently had their first baby in Feb and it wasn't until this November that I was finally able to meet him.  The moment I got to hold him I burst out in tears I couldn't help myself.  My brother also wasn't able to be at my wedding because of my nephew being born right around the same time so now all my wedding pictures are tainted without him in it.  And we can't even talk about it when we all finally do get together because it hurts him and his wife too much.  

In addition to family I miss the little things I've just gotten used to.  I my TV shows, my radio stations, I miss country music, I miss Ranch dressing, Chipotle, and Taco Bell.  I also hate the feeling that no matter what I do I'm always the outsider here.  I am reminded of that daily (A manager at a retail shop) when every other customer that I speak with has to ask me where I'm from and that I'm this entity from America.   I just want to be me.  

How am I adjusting?  I just am I suppose.  I know that I am in love with my husband and would live in a 3rd world country if that's what it took to be with him.  I also ask him to just have an open mind that we can move anytime it's doable.  Just know he's ok with going back to the States one day really helps keep me calm when I start to feel trapped.

If you do decide to move back and you're around Glasgow let me know so we can meet up and talk about all the things we miss.  Sometimes that's all it takes.  It's hard for me to talk about the things I don't like about Scotland to my Hubby because he takes it personally and he just doesn't get it.  Sometimes all a girl wants is empathy.

Just want to add, I do miss my family back in the US. I do miss watching the nephews and nieces growing up. It is hard, like this last time home, i saw a few of my nieces and nephews and they are all growed up with families of their own. I saw them at maybe three or four stages growing up. Then I realised I missed seeing them growing up. But I console myself with the fact that if we did live there, because of the distances and vacation entitlements in the US, how often would I have seen them? Perhaps a few more times than by living here. So I do miss family but coming from a 'broken' family and moving around a lot, I was already adjusted to long breaks from them. But I can empathise with those that have close family relations and are or have moved abroad.

And I'll add to genau's comment. The internet is a double edge sword. You have what was not available to myself and genau so you can still keep abreast of most their daily lives. This is a recent thing for me to see what all my family are doing through FB. But it can also make you miss those events. I never missed things in the past because unless I got a snail mail, I wasn't aware of things so couldn't miss it. I find it cool, others may find it hard.

Once or twice, I have wondered what life would have been like had I stayed in the US. But then I think that is kind of silly. What if, what if and what if.

And buckeye I think you are safe enough to discuss with us any merits of Scotland you don't like without offending. I can't speak for all other expats in Scotland but I think they may also agree. There are things I don't like about Scotland though I am struggling to find an example just now but the point is lay it on us and see if any of us can help. If you are uncomfortable posting publicly, feel free to PM any queries or rants.

And rutabega. Man do I really empathise with you on both being expats. I would think that would very hard. But ya'll sound as if you have the situation under control.

And the neo-nazi thing would make me uncomfortable too.

And Jewlz, well not to leave you out, your attitude comes out in all of your posts. You could have been a marine, you're made of the right stuff. 

I agree with AyouBob and genau.

Like genau, I was single when I came here and I stayed here for me.

I didn't bring any kids, I can imagine that would be tough especially the older they get!
 
Sometimes, however, my children seem quite foreign to me.  But mostly, they're just my children.

I do think everywhere you go, you take the weather with you. 

Times have been hard here, and often enough Brit friends will say, 'Why not just 'go home', as if it's some magic bullet.  Like it'd solve all our problems.

Well, no place is like that.  It's swings and roundabouts wherever you are and I've learned that if I find myself stuck in a situation I don't like, it's up to me to get out if I'm the one who's unhappy, be it in fact to return to the US (LOL) or move elsewhere.

Once I learned that, I took back the control and, although still a die-hard skeptic and mostly a pessimist, life got a bit more bearable!

And Jewlz, well not to leave you out, your attitude comes out in all of your posts. You could have been a marine, you're made of the right stuff. 

Awww, thanks! 

West Highland Way has a very good point there - there are always going to be good days and bad days and good times and tough times, no matter where you live. I think it's important to look at it that way. If someone is a jerk to me, I don't take that as some symbol of British behaviour, I just remember there are jerks everywhere! There are little things that frustrate me about living here (like how long it takes to get furniture delivered... sheesh!  ) but I remember all the things that inconvenienced me or upset me in the US, like not having health insurance, and I remember that there are always going to be good and bad things no matter where I live. It is hard to find a job here, but it isn't really easy to find one in the US at the moment either. I try to look at things positively rather than negatively. It helps a lot.

angelique - sorry to hear this, nothing can make it easier I am guessing but you.  I obviously can't say much because I have not been in your shoes but I tell you reading and talking with such wonderful people has shed some light and prepare me(hopefully) for what will come.

Like Jewlz said and she is my partner in crime on here and will be near me SOON there are good and bad days and this is what I am preparing myself for BEFORE I get there.

I am a total social person and heck I will take a masters class at  university , volunteer or DRIVE to alwick/newcastle to talk to people if I have too.

I will be in the newcastle area, will work from home and my husband is off shore 21 weeks a year SO YES adjusting to life will be different but I can only hope with the support of the ladies on here and the friends I have made and of course my husband it will be mostly smooth sailing.

I am always around if ya need a vent and I hope to pop up to Scotland since the husband goes thru there to get on the rig every month.

Huggs hon!

Like Jewlz said and she is my partner in crime on here and will be near me SOON there are good and bad days and this is what I am preparing myself for BEFORE I get there.

I am a total social person and heck I will take a masters class at  university , volunteer or DRIVE to alwick/newcastle to talk to people if I have too.

I will be in the newcastle area, will work from home and my husband is off shore 21 weeks a year SO YES adjusting to life will be different but I can only hope with the support of the ladies on here and the friends I have made and of course my husband it will be mostly smooth sailing.

Hehe... hopefully I will get my licence soon and can come see you when you get here. But since you are the brave one, you could come and see me sometime! 

It sounds like you have the right attitude. You really have to put yourself out there in order to meet people. They certainly don't always come to you! I think volunteering is such a great idea for new arrivals, I can't recommend it enough.

Good luck to all of you feeling homesick or who are nervous about the move. It takes time, but you will be fine.

I've been here nearly seven years now and I could if written words similar to yours. I felt completely out of place and yeah as soon as I opened my mouth someone was there always asking me where I'm from and why am I living here.    And for me personally being a stay-at-home mum it was harder and I found myself constantly looking for ways so we could move back to the US as I felt I was going crazy here. But then one day at the school gate I met a mum and she spoke to me and asked me around for a cuppa, and then I met another, and then the next thing I knew I was meeting people who was interested in knowing me not just where I was from or why I was here in the first place. And I became more settled in my life, and content. I'm going back to school now, and a parent governor at my kid's school and I also volunteer.

It took me a long time to realize that no one was going to hold my hand through this journey and as much as I missed my family I'm extremely close to and way of life in the US this was my choice and a place to make my home. And so now when a person asks me where I'm from I look them straight in the eye and say ''Wolverhampton'' because this is my home.   

And UKYankee is a good place to be for venting and homesickness or food or anything else for that matter as it helped me cope those times when I needed it. So we all are here for you! 

For some reason when I was reading these comments I was thinking if anyone is missing the US I would like them to move to Barstow in California and that would fix anyone for missing the US. Desert and abandoned and on the main freeway ( I 15 ) between Los Angeles and Las Vegas. Hot as an oven in the Summer and sand, sand and desert and old run down houses.

But I didn't mention they have Taco Bell there and even that is depressing.

*waves* The lot of you make me feel all south-like, even if I'm -barely- south of the Watford Gap.. eesh! 

My adjustment here has been... pretty smooth for the most part.  I was born and raised in the USA, and always felt like I was in the wrong country.  I grew up watching Britcoms in PBS (channel 13 in Dallas is love <3), and just felt like I was looking at the world where I belonged, a world that made sense.  So it surprised me when life opened the door on my now-husband, especially considering I'd rejected a handful of British suitors in that same year... *laughs*

Still, there have been a couple of rough patches.  I miss my junky crap food like mad even 2.5 years on (Taco Bell, Sonic, Jack in the Box, etc), and the fact my speaking patterns have always been rather British with a very generic American accent (from Dallas, yet people in the States thought I was from Seattle, a town I've never been to oO) confuses the living heck out of people; I almost always have to repeat myself.  But, on the other hand, people seem to assume I'm from here, but lived in the States long enough to pick up an American accent... which I guess is handy enough.

Thanks guys!
Genau, you have a good memory   Yes we lived in Dumbarton.  It isn't that bad, generally speaking, but it seems like a dying town.  The little shopping area is 75% empty.  I mean it has a Poundland and a Hallmark,  An Asda and Morrison's and A Subway.  It is pretty and hilly.  And close to Loch Lomond.  But I am kind of a city girl and having cows as neighbours was a huge adjustment for me on top of all the other things that were going wrong.  I will feel more at home closer to Glasgow I think.  We have been looking at Partick as one possible area.
Ayoubob, I was in Scotland last winter.  Got there just before the "big snow" that shut down London (among other places).  Made me laugh.  But I really do hate snow and cold.  Scotland is balmy compared to Minnesota in January
Jewlz, thanks for the welcome.  You are very right about being in the middle somewhere.  It was so hard for my friends in America to relate.  I got so sick of hearing "well I moved from NY to CA, so I understand how you feel in Scotland".  Um, no you don't.  And no one in the UK understand either, including my husband, of course.  It can make one feel very isolated.
Rutabega, a burrito shop??  I hope they reopen too, for your sake.  It sounds like heaven.  Mexican food is one thing I missed so much.  That and a decent cup of coffee.  I broke down in tears (of joy) when I had my first Starbucks in Glasgow.
Buckeyejenn, I completely relate.  Taco Bell and Chipotle are my two faves.  It seems like a small thing, but unless you have had to live without it you have no clue how much it can mean to you.  And always feeling like an outsider is exactly how I felt.  I could never feel at home.  And everyone thought I was Canadian.  And when you get a room full of Scots, talking fast, I can't understand a word   It was so hard.  I will be in Glasgow when I get back so I would love to meet up!!!!  What area are you in?
WestHighlandWay, I can attest to the fact that going home solves nothing.  Granted, I had some very legitimate  reasons to come back to the US, if i had just come back because I missed home I would be kicking myself now.  It IS hard no matter what you do.  That is life.  I have learned a lot from this whole experience.  One thing I learned is "you can't go home again".  Sad, but true, in my case.  I am British at heart now and there is no going back.
Zoyabean, you haven't made it to the UK yet?  having you hubby gone will be hard.  But I can tell you, having other expat friends can seriously save you.  It saved me.  I have 3 amazing friends over in the UK (only one of which I have met irl) who really saved me when I was over there.  I have also met several other expat friends since I left.  We are all such a unique club.  Come visit me when you get up to the Glasgow area
Little_evo, I was a stay at home mum when I was living in Scotland too.  It was so lonely living that way.  I had a lot of trouble meeting new people and although my husband didn't mean to, he made it hard for me to get out much (his job sucks).  And you are right, no one will hold your hand and help you.  You have to figure it all out on your own!
Peaceful, I think it is going to be a lot more difficult for me to miss the US when I go back.  I have had a hell of a time since I got home.  Hoping it won't be as much of an issue for me anymore!
Raeyn, I was like you growing up.  I always knew I belonged in the UK.  I watched Blackadder, Red Dwarf, Monty Python and had a Union Jack hanging on my wall in high school.  I never felt like I belonged in the US.  I had been to the UK and it felt like home.  That is why I was so surprised I felt the way I did when I moved over.  I am still confused by it, honestly.  Maybe I am just a really difficult person.  I don't know. 
Anyway, I am going to be hanging out here more now that I am certain I am going to be going back (I just don't know when).  And when I get back I would love to meet up with all of you!  I will never forget walking into the Starbucks in Edinburgh on the Royal Mile, and the Barista taking my order had an American accent.  I wanted to jump over the counter and kiss him.  Sad but true!