How did you tell your family?

I was completely honest with my family and friends, told them straight away. I felt awful about leaving my grandma. I haven't spoken to my dad, her son, in about 6 years but we are very close, she practically raised me. Anyway he pays no attention to her and she is in very frail health, her vision is failing, etc. She has now been diagnosed with congestive heart failure and I just dont know what to do. I went back to see her over Passover for a few days and that seemed to perk her up but she has gone back to feeling rotten. I'm so scared of losing her. She has very little family plus her sister who is about 94 is dying. I call her every week and she even told my husband that she wishes we would move back. The good thing is she adores my husband, refers to him as her grandson, she adores his family and she knows I am happy. Its just hard  :-/

hi mrs kev

I know some time has elapsed since you placed your message but perhaps I can put in my comments.
I have every sympathy with your situation and it must be very distressing for you to know that your Grandmothers health is failing and that she is unhappy. Even worse, must be the feeling of frustration knowing that it is difficult to comfort her.
Your weekly 'phone calls, I'm sure, do give her some happiness and also lets her know that she is still in your thoughts and that she is still part of your life.
You might want to consider writing letters to her. The advantage of this is that when they contain words of love, assurance and daily happenings (to keep her in touch),  unlike 'phone calls, they can be read over and over again. Another good idea is to add 'photos which can enhance what you write about in the letters.
I'm assuming that for practical reasons you are unable to visit regularly, but is it possible to have some arrangement with her doctor whereby he can inform you of any untoward developments and then you and your husband can be there for her.
I really do 'feel' for you and your husband in what is obviously a very difficult time. Take heart from the fact that you all know that there is a strong love and bond between the three of you.
Take care

Phoenix (Tom)

I first would like to say hello to Red !! How are things with you these days? how are the kids doing , have you moved back yet? I really hope all is well ........But as for the family thing , Boy theres a hot spot , I'm almost 40 I have 2 kids one disabled and I'm very close to my family , I live no more then 5 mins from any of them , (they all really like Mark alot & my kids love him )and well Mark & I are still trying to find a way to make this work , but my mother HATES, & I MEAN HATES the Idea of us moving , I almost feel like I'm 2 again scary , I've told her that we have not made any plans for a move yet but we're working on it , that didn't help and now the Girls and I are making plans to go to the UK for the summer and you would think I shot her Dog !! I know she loves us and worrys but she makes me feel  well so DUMB I guess is the word I'm looking for , like I have no idea how the world work or how to make the right choices for my my kids , so not only is it hard just finding a way to be with the Man I love more then anything ( other then my kids ) but now I have to worry about hurting my mother , she'll never see this as the right thing for me and my kids so I have to just move on with our plans and go where life takes us , I really hope it gets easier for you , I know it won't for me   :-/


(maybe someone has some advice on how I should handel this )


  Thanks for listening , Wild