Family support rant

Dear family,
Back up off me already. It's getting tiring to get calls about about renting the house out and storing things here in case we want to come back next year. Or even worse, calling and crying about how you'll never see me again.

Please stop and add it up. Ian's lost his job, I'm giving up a new job that I actually quite like. We're leaving our home and selling almost everything we have in this little home we've been building together. We're leaving friends, and I'm going to be 4000 miles from my sister who is my best friend and has always, always been my rock, even when she's had her own struggles. We're obliterating our savings, and quite possibly even the retirement savings. We're probably going to have to leave our cats, even though we've had them since the day they were born and they don't know another life. I'm leaving my homeland, which maybe doesn't seem like a big deal, but you would be amazed what kind of culture shock there is, even between countries that speak the same language. We're probably going to be separated by the ocean again for up to 6 months while my visa processes and we organize things, and we haven't been apart for longer than 2 weeks since the week we got married. And we're moving to the one part of the country where we don't have friends and family for a support network.

We're making decisions appropriate to our plans. We've been making decisions together for a decade and although I'm sure you do know better about a few things, you don't know how we make our decisions. Please back up and let us do this, we're under an incredible amount of stress and we can't use the added weight of your issues. Please.

Wow.. a lot of that I could have said myself! Hang in there and I hope the stress eases up and things go your way.

I know they're sad, but seriously some of them treat me like I made the decision on a whim and I'll just move back when I realize what a mistake it is to move to England. If just one family member would stop before they tell me how they'd handle my situation and say "Wow, angelchrome, you've made a hard decision and I support you" I would jump for joy.

This isn't a whim, and they haven't been in my situation so they don't know *what* they'd do. We certainly didn't know what to do. After careful consideration we decided to move where there was work and start rebuilding instead of living in limbo on a shoestring budget here. It's the right thing for our family.

I know they're sad, but seriously some of them treat me like I made the decision on a whim and I'll just move back when I realize what a mistake it is to move to England. If just one family member would stop before they tell me how they'd handle my situation and say "Wow, angelchrome, you've made a hard decision and I support you" I would jump for joy.

That is one of the most frustrating things to deal with. My family isn't quite so bad anymore, but it's merely silence rather than support. Except for my father. When I visited a few weeks ago, I was told that he actually hopes and prays that something will go wrong for me in the UK so that I have to move back. Some people are too selfish to wish for your well-being or want you to make decision that are best for you. I sometimes think the best thing to do is take all of their ridiculous criticism/advice and use it as an incentive to do exactly what you want to do and prove them wrong. I feel even more compelled to be happy and successful in the UK just because my father has been so unsupportive.

I hope your family comes around and stops making everything more stressful for you!

My family is the same way... And I only moved across state. Now I only live three hours away, and they still want to know when I'm going to be moving back home. And by home, they mean back in my grandparents home.  (uhuh... Never!)

Now I live three hours away and get constant comments wanting to know when I'll be moving back. Dh and I both got our dream jobs where we are now. My family's reation was that they have nice jobs in their town too.

I used to try to defend it and talk about it, which would turn onto a fight. Now I just ignore it and go on with life the way I want to.