Feeling hopeless...

Hi everyone, I just came back from visiting my wonderful bf in the UK and it was the best time I've had in a long time. It's been extremely hard adjusting back to 'regular' life. I miss him terribly and all I want to do is cry all day. I feel this heaviness/emptiness in my heart and what makes it worse is I might have to wait until next summer to see him. We've known each other for 3 years and have discussed marriage, but at the moment we're not doing well financially. He is currently working 20 hrs a week and is in debt. He has been actively looking for a full time job, but nothing has turned up. I'm not doing as bad as he is, but I don't make much either. I'm currently seeking a second job and hope to find one by next month. When I think about the future and the visa process, I start feeling hopeless. The visa costs, financial requirements, it all just seems too much and I feel we'll never get there. Are there any success stories out there of overcoming financial hardships and having a 'happily ever after'? I'm just in need of a little encouragement Thanks

mine isn't a success story yet, but i can definitely relate to how you feel about everything.  i, myself, just got back from a 3 week stay in england with my (now) dear fiancee.   i know the feeling of not being able to settle back into "regular life" and missing your SO terribly.  the best advice i can offer to you is to keep your chin up and don't lose hope.

best of luck with everything to both you and your boyfriend.

First of all, a big hug to you. I know the feelings you're having. I know it's hard to leave your bf behind, and to remember the times you had, and come back to your "regular life".

When my DH(dear husband) asked me to marry him in 2006, I was super in debt, and I was only working retail/restaurant jobs. I could barely care for myself, much less have another person in my life. We both struggled, to make enough money to continue to see fly over to see each other, and to continue to communicate with each other. It wasn't until 2008, that things really started to look up for us. He'd been working at a job that he hated, but, he made enough money to pay his bills. I worked at a restaurant and at a pre school. The restaurant mainly on the weekends and some nights, and the pre school Monday thru Fridays. I was shattered all of the time. But, eventually, I paid off my debts and saved enough to get enough to pay for my fiancé visa and air fare to come over.

I moved over in July 2009, and I've been here ever since. It's not completely all "happily ever after", though. We live with his mom and dad, and he still works at a job that he hates. I work at a nursery school(it's like day care in the States), and I love it. We're saving up to move into our own place, but, it's not easy. It's really expensive to live here, and I still have another round of immigration stuff to go thru next year. What gets me thru everything is him. I guess in that way, it is "happily ever after".

Hope things will be good for you and your bf in the future!

It can happen for you, just keep your eyes on the prize. I've been with my husband 12 years now and we've done it all, shuttling back and forth, planning a wedding with the US visa process holding up the groom (he arrived the week of the wedding thankfully), living in tiny horrible places in dodgy neighborhoods, great jobs, layoffs, years of surplus, years of being super, super broke. Not to mention all the other life events you can have, losing family members, being far away when a loved one is sick, car wrecks, crazy health, trees falling on your house, family in trouble and so on and so forth. We've had lots of support and love, but more than anything we have each other. We've always considered this marriage to be our top priority so even when everything fell apart around us we could look to each other and know that we always had love and support and a true home.

You can do it. Good luck, hon!

Thank you all for your encouraging words. You guys are wonderful! I feel a lot better now and more hopeful for the future. Even though financially we're not where we want to be, I have faith that we will make it somehow!