IF you had to do it all over again......

would you?

For all the hurdles that had to be JUMPED and sometimes crawled over at a 1/2 dead snails pace --  for me -- I WOULD move to the UK all over again.

It's not been an easy go of it -- but my life has changed and changed for the ultimate BETTER!  I married my best friend and I could NOT imagine my life without him - and vice versa.  My hubs and I share EACH OTHER so much -- and I feel that we're GROWING. 

But....there are the times when I wonder -- WHY?!  Why did I leave the job that I loved -- my friends that I loved and the place that was so FAMILIAR to me...... to come here?

In a bloody HEARTBEAT.

Yeah we're moving back to America, but moving here was the best decision I've ever made. It gave me my husband, my in-laws, my son, my new multi-country life and perspective. Things I'll never, ever lose. And my dream is to live in England again, later on when my husband retires. His job is the driving force behind our move, and we'll both miss it here dearly. Yes it has been hard, harder than I ever could have imagined at times - but I suppose the best things in life are like that. Marriage, children.... moving to a new country... hard as hell sometimes, but worth every bloody second.

Yep, I'd do it again.  I didn't move to the UK...I moved to be with my husband.  The UK was just part of the deal!   

Probably not.  Isn't that terrible.  Me, the person who's been here so long and has such an established life and tells everybody else to get on with it.  I wouldn't. 

What would you do then?

Stay in Massachusetts, try to get better jobs, better commute, maybe move to the Catskills, make my kids join 4-H and play soccer.  Visit my family on holidays, visit his parents for a couple weeks in the summer.   Not burn all my stupid bridges. 

Yes, I would do it again too!

Absolutely!  In fact we would have done it YEARS earlier and gotten on with our "real life" that much sooner.  It's the best decision we have ever made.  I wouldn't change it - and we wouldn't go back to the states - for all the tea in China.


Rosie

Absolutely! In fact we would have done it YEARS earlier and gotten on with our "real life" that much sooner. It's the best decision we have ever made. I wouldn't change it - and we wouldn't go back to the states - for all the tea in China.


Rosie

Ditto - the only thing I would do different, which would make everything different, would be to have come over back when I was 18 and had time and money and we had our whole lives ahead of us...rather than spending so many years by ourselves and going through our own little hells alone...

Absolutely!  In fact we would have done it YEARS earlier and gotten on with our "real life" that much sooner.  It's the best decision we have ever made.  I wouldn't change it - and we wouldn't go back to the states - for all the tea in China.


Rosie

Wow!  That's ALOT of tea!!!

As hard as it is sometimes, I'd definately do it all again.    Like Marlespo said, it gives your life such perspective.  I was talking to my mom yesterday and she was telling me about all the people from home (some of my friends and my brothers friends).  And its sad, because some of them were really bright, driven people and they haven't done much with themselves (in my opinion anyway)- I think out of fear of change.  Some of them are just afraid of changing jobs, let alone moving out of the country!

And as we get older, I think people are more and more willing to do whatever it takes to find that certain someone.  How crazy is this. . . when I was moving here it was during The Bachelorette. . .and I was just thinking, this beautiful girl wants to go on National TV to find someone.  It just goes to show you how desperate people can be to find a connection with someone. . . and I HAD that connection with someone.  So why not just go for it?  Yes, I was thus inspired by the Bachelorette to move to England!   

I would do it again.
I do miss all my large extended family and feel out of the loop but I wouldn't give up what I have here.  I have grown so much and learned what I was really capable of and what I want from life.  I had to have everything familiar taken away from me to find that out.

Without a second thought I'd do it all again. And aside from the obvious reason (who is sleeping off a late night upstairs) I still would. I miss my friends enormously and I miss my mum, but the sharpness of that has worn off, and even though we can't run out for a glass of wine, I still talk to them all pretty much every week....

And was 100% burned out on the industry I was working in (record labels), so even though I went from a big title and salary to... well at the moment a big nothing... I'd rather have piece of mind.

All in all I just feel more comfortable here - I don't feel like I have to be a certain way and live a certain life. San Francisco was wearing me down. And the true test for me was my last trip back there - I was sitting on one of my best friend's sofas, watching everyone buzz around and get ready to go out, and I thought about how life was moving on without me there and while it was a weird sensation, it didn't bum me out - in fact I was more anxious to come "home" to England on that last trip than I had been to go "home" to California....

Yes, I would do it all over again.  As others have said in their posts, the gain in perspective and how you grow as a result of it, is something I would never want to give up.  When people ask me "how I'm finding it here" I always elaborate and say that I think everybody should live abroad for at least few years.  

What I would change, however, is that I don't think I would stay here as long.  It's for extremely personal reasons, but I lost both my grandfather who raised me and my dad in less than two years.  Because my husband was involved in a start up business and I had two small children, it was not possible for me to get home when I really needed to.  My absence caused resentment from my brother, which still has not been healed.  The logical side of me knows that I was doing what I had to do for my husband and children, but my emotional side has been left with guilt that I still am trying to figure out how to live with.

So for me, the experience has been a mixed bag.  I often feel that it was the timing that wasn't so good.   These are things that you can't plan or forsee and unfortunately, it's one of the challenges and complications of an international marriage.

But because we have survived these difficult years, we are stronger and better for it.  Hopefully, we can pass on the positive life experiences to our boys (and leave the bad ones behind!   )

Would I do it again?  Heck yeah.  Would I do it the _same_way_?

Probably not.